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Between Sarah Palin and Gwyneth Paltrow it has been a real week for the jerks. But guess what: MONDAY-FRIDAY, jerks. HANDS OFF THE WEEKEND. This is our weekend, down here. Down here it’s our weekend. Up there it’s jerk time. (Goonies reference. 2011.) Enjoy it, guys. If you’re in the Los Angeles area, there is this. If you’re not in the Los Angeles area, work it out. You’ll do great! See you Monday.

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Pandora Hills 90210, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 shellbomber | Jan 7th Score:87

“If I were married to Ted Haggard and he cheated on me with a male prostitute and took crystal meth, I would get mad at him, but I would never dump him. I would just make him stop with the gay sex and drugs and open a new church.” – womankind

Posted in: Ted Haggard Rests His Case, Coming Soon To TLC
#4 Jeska (also quixentric) | Jan 12th Score:88

Forgetting Sarah Palin

It’s what I wish I could do right now.

Posted in: Best New Party Game 43: Sarah Palin Movies
#3 Frank Lloyd Wrong | Jan 12th Score:99

Takin’ of Pelham 123

Runnin’ With Scissors

Changin’ Lanes

Findin’ Nemo

Drivin’ Miss Daisy

Waitin’ to Exhale

Chasin’ Amy

Raisin’ Arizona

Romancin’ The Stone

Lookin’ For Mr. Goodbar

Tradin’ Places

Leavin’ Las Vegas

Ragin’ Bull

Posted in: Best New Party Game 43: Sarah Palin Movies
#2 backwaxer | Jan 10th Score:105

what is this, 20 questions?

Posted in: The Videogum Movie Club: Country Strong

[Ed. note: Hahahahah. Hahhahahahhaha. SHUT UP, GWYNETH PALTROW.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

backwaxer | Jan 11th Score:-61
didn’t watch this yet, cause I’m done with this guy

if I’ve learned anything from Jon Stewart it is – DON’T get 100,000 people together for a low-volume off-point comedy show about how we should get along with republicans, 2 days before republicans take 100 seats in the house

i’ll watch this douchebag again when enough people tell me he grew some balls

Posted in: Jon Stewart Discusses The Arizona Shootings

[Ed. note: You mad! My favorite part of this comment is that you haven't watched the clip yet. Take your time! We will wait.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

Polythene Pam | Jan 11th Score:86

AnnaLynne takes the walk of shame home after falling asleep early at Brad Pitt’s house party.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Pandora Hills, 90210

[Ed. note: Congratulations, Polythene Pam. You earned it.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

my ironic mustache | Jan 12th Score:6

i really wish she wasn’t on vimeo. we like our awesome, supportive film-making community. palin belongs on youtube with the rest of the mole people. or break.com.

Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Sarah Palin Did Not Cause The Arizona Shootings But Is Still An Asshole
[Ed. note: This is not the cleverest comment of the week (no offense, mustache) but the idea of Sarah Palin releasing her official statement videos on Break.Com makes me laugh and laugh. And laugh.]
Comments (95)
  1. Monsters = Don
    This Week = Bobby

  2. Almost done with work and then it’s Beer o’clock and a three day weekend. Just got to figure out how to get out of here.

  3. Gabe, I know you have been looking for Frieda Pinto’s phone number for quite a while because you need to ask her something real quick.

    Well, guess what?! I may be the person who can get it for you. SPOILER ALERT: It’s on a post-it staring me in the face.

    You want this number, don’t you, Gabe?

    Well, I want Editor’s Choice! Seems as though we both need something in this equation. I think you know what you need to do now.

    I’ll see you the same time next week…

  4. Congratulations to everyone, but more congrats to FLW on continuing his Dimaggioesque Monster’s Ball streak.

    Since he is a cyborg, I will congratulate him in a language he understands:

    0111010100010101001001010010110 10100101011101010010101001010 1001010101101101?
    010101 101010 0111010111111 10101 101 10000 0001 001 001110100!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Hey monsters! Time for my monthly reminder on ways to connect with and learn about the Videogum community. As I announced last month, I’ve moved over my lists and such to Mobfd, and I’ll be updating there from now on. Check out this comprehensive list of Videogum links posted by Chris Trash: http://mobfd.blogspot.com/2011/01/monster-roundup.html

    On there we have links for: the monster Twitter list (free for any to join!), the chatroom, the Inside Jokes list, the Monster Tumblrs/Blogs list, the Complete Monsters Ball stats list, the Worst Movie of All Time list, meet-up information and more.

  6. Backwaxer, your diversity impresses me.

    Everyone else, it’s Friday! Huckabeast just got paid!

  7. I don’t know if you guys saw this, guessing you did since it was on all the geocities’, but our good friend Bobby Bottleservice is now twittering, the perfect intro to your weekend
    http://twitter.com/#!/akaBobbyB

  8. Apparently the LA link does not work for everyone, so here’s info on it too. Stay awesome monsters.

  9. My coworker is a chatty kathy. She has been talking to the side of my head nonstop for about an hour now. I have not reacted in any way, not even glanced her way, and she has not slowed down. I am ready for the weekend.

    Maybe I will attend the LA thing!

  10. Gabe, I finally made the move to Grand Rapids. If you need me to shovel your grandma’s sidewalk or something, just say the word!

  11. Backwaxer, you got robbed. There were much worse comments this week.

  12. I AM IN THE BALLLLLLL FIRST TIME.
    PARTAYYYYY

  13. It’s not enough that there are so many articles devoted to her, but now she’s broken into the Monster’s Ball (at #1, no less).

    You guys, I’m worried about our Videogum.

    Beware the Paltrowcalypse

  14. If you guys could stop mentioning the 3 day weekend, that would be cool. It’s bad enough knowing I work for a racist company without having to also acknowledge that it’s costing me a day of not working for that company.

    • Guess what! My boss (who owns the company) is taking the day off but forcing everyone else to work! Yay! I guess every day is boss’s day.

  15. Hey, you guys! Guess what?! Today is Baby Friday’s birthday! Happy birthday, Baby Friday! I hope it’s a good one!

  16. Looks like somebody didn’t like the cover for the new issue of GOOP

  17. Monsters it’s Friday and I just found out my boyfriend and I got our dream room and are moving to San Francisco!!!!!! I’m still funemployed so I didn’t Just Get Paid today but can we monster mash anyway?

    And Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day to one and all! Please consider using your day off to give back to the community: http://mlkday.gov/

  18. bruuuuuuhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  19. Hey guys, what’s…sorry, gotta go; my fishmonger’s here.

  20. “But guess what: MONDAY-FRIDAY, jerks. HANDS OFF THE WEEKEND. ”

    Gabe, this made me sad. My boss just made my team and I work this evening and tomorrow. So thanks for rubbing it in?

  21. I just thought you should all know, I am watching The Room right now! WOOO WEEKEND!

  22. So if I’m in the Los Angeles area, I should join Facebook?

  23. Congrats to all the winners!

    I’ve gotta rest up and practice my socializing skills on a life-size pile of laundry made to look like a person before I head up to the Thirsty Crow for the first LA Monsters Meet Up! Yay. What do you think of that, Jeff, my pile of laundry?

    Uh huh.

    Oh sure. Definitely.

    Jeff’s excited, you guys!

  24. “But guess what: MONDAY-FRIDAY, jerks. HANDS OFF THE WEEKEND. This is our weekend, down here.”

    Haha, enjoy SNL tonight!

  25. i would rather be here

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