YEARBOOK! (Oh lord. Goodnight!) (Via TheHighDefinite.)
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YEARBOOK! (Oh lord. Goodnight!) (Via TheHighDefinite.)
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Never too young to be bangin, indeed!
Christina Benjamin Aguilera Button
Looks like she’s smangin’ to me.
I don’t get TLC, but it seems like a wonderful channel.
Today’s episode is brought to you by the letter–GHAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Never before has a gif so eloquently captured my emotions. Never before has a gif been so eyebrow relevant.
Ugh, Add her to the List

See Also

What’s wrong with Tetley’s?
Tennent’s. I’m sorry.
That was one crazy Scottish-themed party at Notsewfast’s.
I have CPS on the phone right now.
Someone should report her to the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Those ladies seem real nice.
Oh good! Now *I* feel like a bad person for watching this!
By “Not Jessica, but another lady”, I hope she means herself.
Just wait until this kid gets pubic hair. Yooooooooow, Kelly Clarkson!
5 year old virgin.
This is so gross that it’s perfect.
This has not been a good week for kids.
Face waxings for children. Pregnant high schools. Rats walking on the homeless. Painfully unfunny hidden camera comics. Sarah Palin and Gwyneth Paltrow.
Videogum has been WAY too depressing the past couple of days.
seriously! can’t you leave us with some cute kittens or something?
GIVE US A MOTHERFATHER BIRDIE UPDATE
I think we could all use some kittens right now:
“Stop your whining”
I want this lady to join Jennifer Petkov and that lady who put a cat in a trash can on planet STUPID BITCH DUMB CUNT CRAZY ASS PSYCHO FUCKHEAD.
And I NEVER say that.
Oh, and it seems the GOOP newsletter forgot to include this part of Gwyneth’s day.
“It’s like I say ‘Apple it’s time for your eyebrow waxing appointment’ and she doesn’t even hear me!”
Oh sure, everybody’s fine if Gisele Bundchen gets a Brazilian wax, but try giving your toddler one and everybody wants to call Child Services!
Between the last 3 posts and the announcement that just went over the P.A. here at work (a high school) warning about a serial rapist in the area, today has reaffirmed my belief that we’re all the worst. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take a 3 day nap, waking only for gin.
Could it really be called kidnapping if it’s just to get her out of the home she’s in?
um. yes. i think this is child abuse. straight up.
this is basically my reaction to getting shots as a child. you know, things that children need to not get sick and die. (true story: as a small child (4?) in the doctor’s office i once got under the exam table and kicked and screamed at the nurses. my mom bought their office dunkin donuts after and made me apologize.)
Calvin?
Are you me? My mom once promised me an ice cream cone if I was good about getting a shot. I proceeded to climb under an over the furniture trying to evade the doc. But, yeah, medically useful vs. Forcing your five-year old to go through a traumatic experience so that she can live up to your idea of beauty. This woman is cracked.
The worst part is, at the end they’re telling her it’s all over, which is a LIE, since you can see there’s still wax between her brows. Has TLC decided to focus the Learning on how to be a terrible parent?
I’m not for punching ladies, but I hope someone is.
I believe I can be of some assistance.
This guy wants in too:

“I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.” – Ron Burgundy
So….I don’t suppose throwing my calendar away will make it 2012, but it’s worth a shot, right? Right?
Waxing for 5 year olds? That tears it!
Here’s the worst part. Did you get a good look at the bag of candy?

Did you see the look on her face when they whipped out the bag of candy? Hahaha.
Isn’t that the same trick pedophiles use on children?
Truly, the candy thing was hard to swallow!
I wonder if mommy holds her down during the lipo procedures too.
Don’t worry. Someday she’ll look upon this incident and wax nostalgic.
This woman should be put in jail. And I don’t mean it in the usual way that we use it around here, like “Oh Seth Macfarlane? He should go to jail.” I mean honest to god prison for abusive psychopaths.
The mother is clearly a lunatic but why is that other lady doing the waxing despite the screams of the child? This horrifies me.
As a matter of fact, why does the camera crew not intervene?
$$$$$
Everyone in the camera crew is under the impression that they are Kevin Carter.
*the next Kevin Carter
Kevin Carter? Is that creator of The X-Files?
Kevin Carter is the guy who took an incredibly famous photo that I don’t want to post the image of here because it is horrifying and depressing (there is a link in the wiki page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Carter). It’s a go-to example of the photojournalist’s dilemma: how do document things like suffering and horror so that others can know and act, yet you simply watch and take photos instead of acting yourself.
Kevin Carter is the guy who took an incredibly famous photo that I don’t want to post the image of here because it is horrifying and depressing (there is a link in the wiki page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Carter). It’s a go-to example of the photojournalist’s dilemma: how do document things like suffering and horror so that others can know and act, yet you simply watch and take photos instead of acting yourself.
Oh, and he ended up killing himself, seemingly mainly because in the end he couldn’t live with the things he had photographed and never interfered with.
Sorry for the double post, my internet was being weird and I took the time to add the extra note, but it just posted both versions.
Bartender, a round of guardians ad litem for my friends.
I was wondering if it was time for me to go to bed. Now I know. And knowing is half the battle (the other half being comprised of 25% red lasers and 25% blue lasers).
Seriously though, I’m going to bed. All the post today have been like, “Haha! Funny! Oh wait- sad. Oh, I’m sad now. I’m smiling, sure, but the tears won’t stop and I’m getting very concerned!”
(plus, my joke/reference well is DRY. that red laser/blue laser bit is from a t-shirt, for god’s sakes. SO DRY.)
Must rest up before tomorrow’s meet up!
I found this genuinely upsetting. That kid is going to grow up with some serious traumatic memories.
Of course, we are straying a little bit away from the central issue here, which is why ANYONE thinks eyebrow waxings are a good thing in the first place. I don’t think I’ve ever met a single non-heinous person with waxed eyebrows.
OR… the kid is going to grow up with an amazing sense of self-worth thanks to being a winner in her early childhood.
Just kidding, this is going to fuck her up. full stop.
Getting your eyebrows waxed and getting your eyebrows waxed OFF are two different things. I come from hirsute stock and some things require tidying. It’s completely pain-free for me at this point (perhaps because true evil can’t feel pain?) and takes five minutes.
So, bright side, by the time this girl is 7 it won’t hurt at all!
remember celia hodes in the first season of weeds and how she kept telling her daughter she was fat? remember how she exchanged her chocolate bars for laxatives? that’s like this only that show is make believe and it didn’t really happen but this did really happen and someone videotaped it and put it on national television for us all to watch.
This reminds me: Of Montreal show tomorrow! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBYGjC_hJ9A
Come on 2012! End this already.
Bored?

It’s time for Friday chat!
http://tinychat.com/videogum password enhance
Just another day at the Frajer Beauty Salon.
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Whoa what a backlash!
My ironic comment was definitely easy and dumb, no doubt about that.
Lesson learned.
There is a delicate balance to this making fun of people and things online.
I really don’t see what’s wrong with this. Can’t win a beauty pageant with stray eye-brow hairs.
Plus they gave the girl a bag of candy. So it’s win-win. I heard they also gave her a Yo Gabba Gabba! DVD as they were binding her feet.