Look, Sarah Palin is not responsible for the horrific shootings that took place in Arizona over the weekend. No duh. Even if it hadn’t been revealed that Jared Loughner had a history of frustration with Giffords, the fact remains that the dude is crazy, and whether or not the contemporary political climate helped to frame his world in such a way that his violent impulses were rationalized or encouraged, it’s hardly the sole or even most important factor. That would be his impossibly easy access to guns. The point that I am trying to make is that laying the blame for this on a JPG on a website is ridiculous, no matter how tasteless the JPG may be–and in this case, the JPG was VERY tasteless! (The thing that is most insane about the Sarah Palin “targets” image to me is that it was STILL UP on her website in the first place. That image came out in March of last year, and she was roundly criticized for it, so why didn’t she just save herself some grief and take it down? Fucker just left it up? WHAT AN ASSHOLE!) So, to try and place any meaningful blame or responsibility for the terrible shootings on Sarah Palin’s shoulders is both incorrect and inappropriate. That being said, THOSE SHOULDERS SURE ARE AN ASSHOLE’S SHOULDERS.

Ugh, this woman!

First of all, you are aware by now of the whole “surveyor’s symbols” thing? How Sarah Palin’s camp is claiming that the symbols on her map aren’t gunsight targets at all, but rather are symbols used in landscape architecture? Excuse me, but FUCK YOU. It’s one thing to be frustrated that you’re getting unwarranted criticism for a thing that is not your fault–fair enough–but do not start with the condescending bullshit nightmare lies. Those are gun targets. The end. I rest my case. You rested my case for me by, you know, USING GUN TARGETS ON YOUR PICTURE. The fact that they would even dare to mention “surveyor’s symobls” is just straight up VILLAINOUS. (And this is just straight up parodic.)

And now she has released her first official video* statement, and boy oh boy, I kind of wish she hadn’t.

Ugh, you can just hear by the Community Theater dramatic inflections that she peppers throughout the speech that she doesn’t even know what half of the words mean. And I love (I don’t love) how she opens the speech with a reference to the death of innocents. Cool. What better place to insert a coded reference for her rabid base about the on-going (sometimes violent) fight over abortion rights? Certainly this is the time and the place. It is also the time and place for this woman to once again insert herself into the national conversation in the most self-aggrandizing way possible. ENOUGH. She has nothing to say, ever. The lazy empty rhetoric about democracy and the will of the people and the glory of America has NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. Either we agree that this act of violence was the work of a mentally unhinged lunatic, in which case Sarah Palin’s defense is just that, or we agree that the shootings WERE directly caused by our volatile political climate, in which case I guess it makes sense that Sarah Palin needs to defend her Soaring Eagle Vision for America’s White Future. Do you see what I mean? She’s kind of building up the same defense that she is arguing she doesn’t need to build. WELL, WHICH IS IT, YOU DUMMY? (Super weird that Sarah Palin would do something that is intensely self-interested without being remotely logical. Very unlike her.) Also, pro-tip for the future, Sarah Palin, when giving your first public statement after a tragic violent shooting in which six people are killed and 19 are injured, including children, a tragic violent shooting for which you are widely–if incorrectly–criticized and blamed, how about you avoid using the word “BITTERSWEET” at any point in your speech whatsoever. Fuck. (Oh, and you might want to avoid “blood libel” too, at least until you LOOK IT UP.)

In closing, Sarah Palin is not to blame, but Sarah Palin is the worst. (Via GotchaMedia.)

*Is it just me, or is it somehow hilarious that Sarah Palin is on Vimeo?

Comments (181)
  1. I just wanted to un-ironically say that I’m really glad you wrote the first (and second, but mostly first) half of this post. I really thought I was alone in not trying to blame even a political party I hate for the killing rampage of a lunatic.

    • I visited Drudge Report this morning (don’t ask) and saw a screen shot of this woman at the top and I was all like, “Oh boy, here we go.” I too am really glad you wrote this post.

    • All of this. This whole situation has been driving me fucking nuts because everyone has a finger to point, and they all should be chopped off.

      What happened was horrible and unnecessary, and unfortunately everything but the “HE WAS A LEFT/RIGHT-WING NUTJOB” falls on deaf ears. Can’t we all calm down and just agree that Fred Phelps is an asshole?

  2. “…help begin a healing process for the families touched by this tragedy and for our country…OUR EXCEPTIONAL COUNTRY.”

    Gah! Stop saying that our country is exceptional all the fucking time. I like America and being an American and all, but we’re not fucking inherently better than other countries by some divine right. We’re only better if our actions say we are, and goddamn it they certainly don’t say that. It makes me so furious that this asshole turned the whole thing into the chance for a half-assed, thinly veiled shot at looking “presidential”.

    This whole thing is just so terrible and scary and not only does she see it as a political opportunity, but she shamelessly treats it as one. Fuck her in the fucking ear.

    • Preach, Artoo.

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • When I first read the last sentence I saw, “Fuck her in her fucking car” and I was like “Whoa!….. wait, what?”

      • For what it’s worth, she does have a pretty sweet car.

      • Fuck her in a VERY uncomfortable place…

      • @jawnofthedead

        Off topic, but your misreading of “ear” as “car” has happened to me before. When I first moved to California I stayed with my sister in Long Beach. She likes those postcards of painted 1950′s ads of house wives with clever captions on them. (Ex. A woman and a man are standing by a fridge full of food and the man is bent at the waist looking in the fridge and the caption reads “Refrigerator blindness strikes again” or whatever). My sister had these postcards in little frames and they were hung up around her 1BR apartment.

        In the bathroom she had one framed on the wall of a man and a woman standing between two car hoods, both of them smiling and looking at the viewer. The lady was holding up a closed fist, holding what I later learned were car keys. Makes sense. But the caption confused me for MONTHS (because I’m nearsighted and never inspected the postcard closely). The caption read:

        Back in our day, ‘getting lucky’ meant finding our ear in the parking lot.

        Except it didn’t, of course. It was ‘car’. Not ‘ear’. So strange. I was totally willing to accept that this is what the postcard said, and although it didn’t make sense to me, I did find it funny in an absurd way. Hey! I found OUR ear! We just got lucky!

    • See I’m thinking that her reaction to this (i.e. the surveyor’s symbols and her rep who should be fired saying that this is actually the left’s fault on some radio show and just taking the jpg down and never just simply saying “It was in poor taste but I didn’t mean it that way, and we should be focusing on the fact that this guy is seriously ill and not even capable of being left or right anymore and you’re all stupid to point a finger at me”) makes her look very NOT presidential to not-crazy republicans who might have seen her as a viable political candidate. But I might think that because I am a bit of an optimist!

  3. Re: “Blood libel”: “Indeed, Jews throughout America can join me in remembering when our ancestors fled Eastern Europe in order to live in a land where nobody would ever criticize us on television.”

    - Matthew Yglesias

  4. Clearly what happened in AZ is not Palin’s fault. It’s no single entity’s fault. But this notion that nothing she (or any of her ilk) can’t be blamed because this guy is/was clearly unhinged is ludicrous. It is EXACTLY why people are blaming the inflammatory rhetoric. Because while watching or listening to Palin makes my blood boil, my shit is together enough that it doesn’t inspire me to murder anybody. Most of us can deal with our rage or frustration about politics, policy debates, willfully ignorant strategy, etc. without feeling like we need to harm others. But some people are so unhinged/unstable that they can’t. Therefore, using words and images that play into the deepest fears and insecurities of an increasingly scared and insecure populace is irresponsible at best.

    Also, choose a side Palin. You’re either the folksy deer hunter hockey guvermom who hates abortion or you’re the “eloquent” defender of the “shining light” of democracy. Either way – I hate you just enough that I can comment passive aggressively on a blog about farting trampolines without feeling like I need to go out and kill anybody. So score one for your team.

    • I heard some news analysist on Fox talking about what kind of music he listened to and how that could have triggered him (BTW it was Drowning Pool “Bodies”). Everyone including Fox is looking for a reason why he turned violent. Fox will look at everything except themselves and other right wing news analysis (has anyone ever heard Mike Savage? I wanted to kill people after hearing him and I didn’t even agree with anything he said). So the right will attempt to blame this on music, but there is not way …noooooo….no way it could be related to the relentless anti-government- active -volcano- of- hate spewing out of talk radio. NOOO….no way.

      • I’m not saying the act was related to anti-government hate, but I am saying if you are going to say music could have influenced him, then you be prepared to say that talk radio could have influenced him too.

    • d-w, I have to respectfully disagree with some of what you’ve said. While you’re absolutely right that the use of violent political rhetoric and fearmongering (I hate that term but it holds here) is irresponsible, I think placing blame on the rhetoric creates an incomplete picture. Plenty of blame can go to things such as the education system for not catching that this guy was unhinged. Or the stigma against mental health care. This guy probably could have gotten some help that might have prevented that tragedy. But if it couldn’t have been prevented, it would’ve been triggered by something – problems with mass transit, anger at large corporations, some kind of societal problem. Right-wing rhetoric is just the incidental choice he made that led to such an awful thing. So while the ugly discourse is irresponsible, in my opinion, I don’t really think apportioning blame is very productive.

      I also have to disagree that Palin can be either folksy or eloquent. I hate her too, as she’s an idiot who contorts any and all ideas into some kind of blatant self-promotion, so I’m not defending her. But the idea that people have to choose one or the other in any set of traits that aren’t polar opposites seems to be part of what contributes to the nasty bipartisan climate in the states. (for Dead Poet’s Society puroposes, my favorite Whitman quote: “Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes.”)

      • I don’t understand why it has to be so black-and-white. Can’t we place the blame on the shoulders of the gunman – who was literally CRAZY NUTS – while still acknowledging that

        a) He should not have been able to buy a gun
        b) It’s unacceptable that he could find thinly veiled justification for his actions in the words of Sarah Palin et al.

        • I think this is exactly right. In the specific instance, there is no ONE thing that caused the problem, but a mixture of individual depravity or madness, access to weapons and a climate of violence fostered by the Right.

          Now, there are always going to be crazy/violent/unbalanced/vicious people that roam this Earth. There is no escaping this one fact. We humans are sometimes born with something wrong in us. And probably there will always be weapons of one kind or another–ever since the Monolith appeared, we’ve used things to kill one another (“2001: A Space Odyssey” was a documentary, right? I didn’t take many history classes). Guns and sticks and fire and water.

          But there doesn’t always have to be this rhetoric of violence thinly veiled as Patriotism. Here is a timeline of the stuff I am talking about:

          This shit is real and it is everywhere and it is not just one picture or one speech.

          Is this not something we can change? It wasn’t this way two years ago. Five years ago. Ten years ago. This is not how it usually is. Yes, we must make people take personal responsibility: “Crazy folks, don’t kill!”, but at the same time, we must say, “Conservatives, do not put these fucking ideas in the heads of your constituents. Stop lying. Stop spreading false information. Stop spreading fear.” Of course, saying it is Palin’s fault alone is not right, she is a symbol of the current trend in our country to use the rhetoric of violence and I think it is fair to criticize her–and everyone else on the Right who refuses to back away from this.

          And on a less measured note, let me say: DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Is your lust for power so great that you can’t back away from suggesting that elected officials should die? Is your macho boner for guns and violence so great that you can’t speak reasonably? What is wrong with you that we are not debating how to make this country better for everyone, but instead we spend our time talking about whether or not you are responsible for DEATH? Let me make is simple: You are. I was raised in a conservative Republican family and work with many conservative Republicans, and you know what: they think you are crazy. It is possible to have conservative beliefs without cocking a gun and pointing it at another human being–figuratively or literally.

          Look into the face of another human being for once, one who is not like you, one who has different ideas and beliefs and who is just as real and human and valuable as you are, and take a moment and ask yourself, “Is your comfort worth this person’s life?”

          If you cannot recognize the humanity in others, then it is because yours left you long ago.

          • Mans, though my respect for you has been documented time and time again, let me say thank you. As a person who grew up in Alaska when Mrs. Palin (I struggle typing ‘Mrs.’ because with it is a connotation of civil humanity of which she is undeserving) was just mayor in a neighboring town, but still a minor celebrity. As abhorrent as she may be, Mrs. Palin is definitively representative of a large number of people. I grew up with these people. My parents are these people. I want to agree with you that their humanity is gone, but I don’t think it’s that simple or digestible. I’ve gone from confused to angered to despondent trying to reason with or at least understand this ideology. I think it can be reduced to the fact that conservative people believe humanity to be inherently evil, and that to survive we must restrict our impulses and punish ourselves. They believe in a binary, a right and a wrong. We on the other side of the aisle allow for ambiguity. When you ask why their comfort is worth another’s life, it’s because within their worldview, ‘comfort’, as you put it, and ‘life’ are indistinguishable. Being right, white, alive and comfortable all essential components of ‘self’, and their opponents, by questioning these essential tenants, are necessarily evil, because binary does not allow for humanity. This is our great problem. Humanists are stupidly fighting an ideological battle with people who reject humanity.

            That being said, I have a little dream that my view of Sarah Palin is like my relationship with Winwood when I was new to vgum and I didn’t yet get it. I’m hoping that when she’s elected in 2016 or whenever (the real 2012), she’s going to get up to the podium and yell, “PSYCHE!!!1!”, hug Obama, and usher in a new era of meta-commentary. Because if not, she’s a troll made flesh. She’s like the Russell Crowe character from Virtuosity, but instead of having a discernable evil plot, she exists solely to provoke. She is a troll.

    • I think, though, to be fair (and I say this begrudgingly), one of the hallmarks of being crazy is being set off by unpredictable things. We can all look at hate speech, or death metal, or Sarah Palin’s hairdo and thing “well, yes, of course that would drive a mentally disturbed person to kill” but the problem with that argument is that a mentally disturbed person could also be driven to kill by a rainy day, J. D. Salinger, or the fact that Barack Obama is mixed-race and the president of our country. And I don’t think any of us want rainy days to go away, right-o?

      So, yes, perhaps this rhetoric contributed to Jared Loughner feeling angry/crazy/motivated enough to shoot a bunch of people. But maybe getting a C on a paper contributed to that as well. Or being rejected by a girl. There is no need to tie a tragic shooting to political rhetoric in order to find said rhetoric disturbing – it’s already super disturbing! And trying to tie the the action of a crazy person to an abstract like that is generally just going to weaken your argument that said abstract is a bad thing, because it gives the doers of the abstract a chance to act all self-righteous and wronged when really they are SO THE WRONGERS.

      (James Poniewozik over at Time’s Tuned In blog says all this way better than I can, but I don’t know how to do links in here.)

      All of this is dependent on the fact that Loughner really is as nuts as he appears to be, and not orchestrating an incredibly complex con. But at this point, the evidence seems to point to his being crazy.

      • Don’t forget Jodie Foster! We all know that the attempted assassination of Reagan was totally her fault. If she hadn’t been so good at acting, Hinckley probably wouldn’t have ever done anything out of line.

      • I’ll have to agree with this. Some of Loughner’s writings on online forums have surfaced and, based their rampant misogyny and distinct lack of lucidity, it was probably only a matter of time before he turned an automatic weapon on somebody.

        That being said, the leaders of the right are either completely disingenuous or entirely incapable of introspection. All it would take is a simple “Yeah, my rhetoric probably has been a bit overblown, what with all the gun targets and such.” Loughner fixated on a political target in order to say something political (even completely unhinged individuals are capable of drawing those connections). I think it makes sense to talk about what might have contributed to that fixation.

      • Is he crazy? Yes, probably. But that doesn’t mean an attempted political assassination isn’t political. Crazy people can be political too. Also.

  5. I sincerely hope that this event make political figures think about the language they use when addressing the public. Because no, it was neither Sarah Palin’s nor the Tea Party’s fault that this crazy man shot and killed people. However, IT EASILY COULD HAVE BEEN. Some other crazy person could have very easily seen cross hairs drawn on the FACES OF HUMAN BEINGS and seen that as instructions. THINK, YOU ASSHOLES.

    • Exactly. Sarah Palin isn’t to blame for this any more than Marilyn Manson is to blame for Columbine. But hopefully this will serve as a wake-up call that it MIGHT not be the best idea to post a map like this with instructions to “reload.” There’s always some nut job out there who takes you too literally.

    • Yeah, really. You’re not really in the moral high ground when it is barely a leap to connect you to a terrorist-y rampage.

  6. I’m too distracted by her yellow robot eyes to listen to hear what she has to say.

  7. This might help further clarify things:

    Things Sarah Palin is NOT responsible for:
    -The shootings in Arizona
    -Spaghetti tacos
    -Sex And The City 2

    Things Sarah Palin IS responsible for:
    -John McCain’s complete loss of credibility
    -Bristol Palin
    -My own personal “weirdest boner”

  8. How can she say that those targets are surveyor symbols when he current slogan is “Don’t Retreat … Reload”?? This woman traffics in gun imagery; she’s like a gun fetishist. While she didn’t cause this shooting spree, she’s part of an overall problem of violence in this country.

    • If Ballots Don’t Work, Bullets Will

    • she’s talking about reloading mechanical pencils. Very Palin. Very surveyural.

    • Remember when John McCain said “the fundamentals of our economy are strong” right before the economy tanked, and then tried to tell us that “fundamentals” actually referred to American workers? This is worse than that.

    • As Videogum’s resident Landscape Architect (fro realsies), I can assure everyone that those are not surveyor’s symbols. If anything, they look more like lighting symbols, but that doesn’t make any sense.

  9. I am terrified she will be our next president. My mind refuses to accept it as a possible outcome, but it scares me that the option is even on the table.

    • Me too, DSN. Me too.

    • Don’t worry DSN, She’ll never be the president, because she is a crazy person who a decisive majority of people have made clear they would never even consider voting for.

      Now Haley Barbour on the other hand…

      • you have too much faith in this country, this “democracy”, your fellow ‘murrkans.

      • That’s true. There is no such thing as a swing vote when it comes to the Palinator.

      • I have to believe that, while it’s tough to get people out to vote for candidates who would better their lives (who are usually totally boring with their “reasonable ideas” and “informed opinions), it’s less hard to get people to vote their hate. If Sarah Palin ever made it onto another national ticket, I think she would be toast.

        And, honestly, every person running for head of the RNC should be disqualified just for answering that question so wrongly and so disingenously. And for making Tucker Carlson appealing for a minute, but mostly for getting the Sarah Palin thing wrong.

    • You can come live with me in Canada. We have our own little quirks, but at this point, I’ll take crazy Rob Ford over this mess any day.

    • There’s no way, no way at all. First off, her timing is WAY off. She came onto the scene too late in the last election cycle, and is just airing all of her skeletons before the next one even starts. She can’t even get enough people to watch her television show to get it renewed, so I doubt she’ll be able to get the votes to win.

      • I agree, Superglue. And also….if Palin got the Rep. nomination in 2012, it would be the best thing that could happen to the Dems. You get elected in this country from the center-right or center-left, not the nut-jobs wings of the two parties: think Dennis Kucinich and Ralph Nader. Speaking of Nader, think of the 2000 election. He stole just enough votes from Gore to give the election to Bush. Here’s hoping Palin runs as a third party candidate.

  10. I see she was strategically filmed in the one corner of her home not adorned with dead animal heads and/or guns.

  11. I’ve wanted her to go away for so long. Why won’t she just go away?

  12. Sarah Palin is a reality TV star. Her show is on the same station as Sister Wives, Toddlers and Tiaras, and My Strange Addiction. Its funny (horrifying…like Jared Loughner horrifying) to me that she still pretends she has any relationship at all to the world of public service.

  13. Guys. Here’s Sarah Palin Pro-Tip. When she starts talking, just hit the off button and she powers down like Threepio.


    • her glasses creep me out. where are the frames? the lenses go on forever. sarah, your glasses are not the infinity pool that you’re going to get out in your second hollywood mansion backyard, they are glasses.

  15. Oh man, it’s 7+ minutes?! Sigh, all right. I’ll see you guys on the other side. Here we go…

    • Is she using a goddamn teleprompter?! What a hypocrite, amirite? Who uses teleprompters?! “Oh, our exceptional country!” Nice inflection, Sarah. Oh, now she’s scolding me. It IS inexcusable! Well said. Not nearly enough winking in this video. Puzzled, concerned, sadness. Uh huh. We got ourselves a regular Dane Cook over hear with the annunciation. God, her stare is so empty. Empty stare. ‘Pundice’? I think you mean ‘pundits’. So bemused when talking about ‘more-heated’ political debate. ‘If men and women were angels there would be no need for government.’ If men and women were angels they wouldn’t be men and women. Angels don’t have genitals, Sarah. They don’t reproduce. We will not be stopped in celebrating the greatness of our country. ‘Merica! Fuck yeah! God, Sarah, are you psychic? You’re reading my MIND! I want to slap her for just saying Giffords’ name (non-violently, and also, come on, I’m on the internet here). BORED. I am bored. America must be stronger. Evil. We are better. Tragedy. Stronger. United. Desire. Debates. Differences. Unite. Strive. Future. Country. God Bless America.

      Whew. Well. That wasn’t worth it.

    • Seriously! Don’t her PR cronies know that a 7+ minute ramble about how she played nice this whole time, and that she doesn’t have any effect on other people (huh?), bookended by plastic apologies and concluded with “may GOD bless these united states” sort of…hmm…I dunno…CONFIRM what she’s defending? Good one! p.s. Sarah Palin looks old.

  16. she goes back and forth like 3 times about how great free speech is and ideas shouldn’t be muzzled (when the ideas are her putting up crosshairs on a map or saying “take up our arms” which OFCOURSE just meant “go out and vote”), and how we need to muzzle all the irresponsible talk about how she shouldn’t have been doing that shit.

  17. Did you notice in the Washington Post, they show a tweet where she wrote: “We won 18 out of 20 (90% success rate;T’aint bad)”,? Who better to know a taint than an asshole. Case closed!

  18. i really wish she wasn’t on vimeo. we like our awesome, supportive film-making community. palin belongs on youtube with the rest of the mole people. or

  19. This is just like that game “Seven Minutes in Heaven,” except with more killing myself.

  20. high five to palin for really breaking the mold and using a reagan quote. way to go!

    • Isn’t Pres. Reagan like their Jesus?

      • yeah, i’m pretty excited to see what republicans talk about once everyone who was of voting age when reagan was around is dead. i think parties rely on our most recent history as an example of how they can do the job. if republicans are citing reagan now, will the be citing bush sr. later? i certainly can’t imagine a world where people quote dubya as a good example of the party.

        regan’s office: January 3, 1967 – January 6, 1975

      • Yes! They had clips of the RNC “debate” (har dee har) and one of the questions was “Who is your hero?” And the moderator rushed to add “No saying Reagan!” like he was such a gimme answer. And all the RNC candidates were like “Are there any other heroes?” “Can I say Reagan’s ghost?” “How about the character he played in that movie with the monkey?”

  21. Them bangs! They look so gross. They be quivering with pent up angry rhetoric.

  22. Who is this Sarah Palin? Is she a politician currently holding office? Is she on a reality TV show that is currently on the air? Snooki has more business getting this kind of attention.

  23. While we might like to take some comfort in the idea that the rhetoric has nothing to do with violence, we need to look at one minor detail.

    It’s people on the left who are getting killed and beaten up.

    If it was truely random, we would see an even distribution of physical violence. But nobody has tried to kill the Koch Brothers, Richard Mellon, Rush Limbaugh. Nobody’s tried to shoot up the Cato Institute or a Mormon church.

    The Crazies are attacking innocent people who are liberal, shouldn’t we be asking why that’s the case?

  24. So, we’ve had 2 Girls, 1 Cup reaction videos. We’ve had Salsa Dog reaction videos. I want to see a reaction video of Sarah Palin watching The Wire. I’d like to see that special mix of resentment and determined obtuseness as she insists to herself that crime and violence and everything bad are isolated acts for which individuals are wholly responsible. “Don’t blame society! Whatever you do!”

    Fucking blame society.

    • It was more than just symbolic to have our Constitution read on the floor of Congress. It was instrumental to the education of Sarah Palin, who had never read or heard it before.

    • Okay, apologies if I’m getting the quotations wrong through my haze of anger, but:

      “It is in the hour when our values are challenged that we must resolve to protect them.”

      Uh, really? It almost feels too easy to–

      “Recall how the events of 9/11 challenged our values, and we had to fight the tendency to trade our freedoms for perceived security.”


    • After this comment, I’m cutting myself off. (“Finally!” -Everyone) But, really quickly, I just want to ask: is there some way to get the Christian right to stop invoking the symbols of terrible violence against Jews–like BLOOD LIBEL–as metaphors for the bruising of their egos? Let’s just brainstorm. Let’s just throw some ideas out there.

      • “Why is everyone trying to crucify me?”

        “Oh man, they really fed me to the lions.”

        “Dear God, why do my property taxes keep going up! I’m going to have to move to a new planned community at this rate.”

  25. I’m digging her Peggy Olson Season 1 bangs.

  26. “This is true; we both know this is true. You, Palin, are a gaping asshole. We both know this. Fuck if everybody in Videogum doesn’t know it! But fuck if I’m gonna stand here and say you did a single fucking thing to get a congresswoman shot! You did not do this, you fucking hear me? This is not on you. No, it isn’t, asshole! Believe it or not, everything isn’t about you! And the motherfucker saying this, he hates your guts, Palin! So you know if it WAS on you, I’d be the son of a bitch to say so! Shit went bad – she took two for company. That’s the only lesson here.”
    -Major Gabe Rawls

  27. I thought the part at the end where she offered to loan out Trig as a human shield to anyone fearful of their safety was a nice touch.

  28. I really couldn’t get past the Reagan quote. She’s just not a good speaker. It felt like a fourth-grader having to recite the “I have a dream” speech.

    “It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” Okay then, how about the individuals who sold the clearly unhinged lunatic his guns? Or the individuals who passed the laws that made it possible for someone to buy weapons without any kind of background check. DUH.

    Also, this is random but it really bothered me that she was like “the Catholic mass…cause they’re Catholic and Catholics are weird.” Why couldn’t she just say “mass”? (Yeah, I’m reading way too much into that)

    • I thought the emphasis on Catholic was weird too! (I only watched the first 45 seconds of this video, guys). I didn’t know what that was about, but I just assumed abortion.

    • As someone wrote on twitter and too lazy to look up who exactly it was: if “each individual is accountable for his actions” then I think Sarah Palin just endorsed a Mosque at Ground Zero. As someoen else wrote on twitter “Republicans are mad that they are being criticized for the actions of a few crazy people. Maybe they should ask Muslims how to deal with that.”

  29. The thing is… this guy can’t plead insanity in a court of law. He knew what he was doing. The climate contributed slightly to his paranoia and sick mind… but he’s not insane. He’s a monster.

    I think Sarah Palin could plead insanity in a court of law, though, if ever necessary. All she would have to do is prove that she never had a clue what was going on or any self awareness whatsoever. I think her Vimeo page is building her defense for her! And her Facebooks! And her serious-patriotist-political-business-you-wouldn’t-understand-folksy Tweets! Go Sarah!

  30. I got very, very angry when I saw this statement this morning. Sarah Palin had already released a statement decrying this tragedy, and it would have been more tasteful if she simply left well enough alone and remained silent. But then she went and released this video because, of course, it’s all about her. Not about Gabrielle Giffords. Not about Christina Green, or Gabe Zimmerman, or John Roll, or anyone else who died or was wounded in this attack.

    And then I sat back and realized that Sarah Palin gets to think it’s all about her because we make it all about her. We respond to her cries for attention, even when decrying her actions. We’re rewarding her for her outrageous behavior.

    So then I thought for a second and realized that I don’t want to be like that. I am better than that; capable of putting aside self-interest for the greater good, and trying to do something positive in response to a horrible act. As per the request of Congresswoman Giffords’ husband, I made a donation to a food bank.

    More information can be found here:

    And yes, this is what MY America looks like. We try to do good things, and then we relax by commenting on goofy videos.

  31. So this video is basically 2011′s “I’m not a witch. I’m you” video, yeah? So we’re almost done with Sarah now, right? Here’s hoping.

    Sarah Palin/Garbage Can 2012!

  32. I only made it 1:10. I’m just not strong like the rest of you.

  33. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • I think if there’s one thing we all can take out of this situation is talk like this is unnecessary and does more harm than good. For as inappropriate has her response was, it does not warrant a death threat.

      • True. I [hyperbolically, metaphorically] wish she would disappear into a black hole, though.

        • In situations like this, I like to imagine people whom I strongly dislike getting locked in the bathroom at critical moments in their life, and no one is around to hear their pounding on the stall door.

          • I try to imagine embarrassing situations.

            Like, Sarah Palin gets terrible diarhhea in the middle of the BIGGEST speech of her life! Then trips and falls noisily down a long flight of stairs, making Grape Lady noises!

          • Sometimes I try to imagine that someone has just stink-palmed every doorway that they will ever enter for the rest of their lives.

            But then I remember that there’s no need to imagine revenge fantasies on these kind of garbage people. They are already living in their own kind of hell, else why would they have to rely on fear- and paranoia-inspiring techniques to gain power?

            Bottom line: is Sarah Palin waking up tomorrow and feeling the joy of helping others to realize their potential or to feel loved or that she had helped bring into the world a little more tolerance and wisdom? I think we all know that the answer is no. It’s actually kind of sad to watch someone wear out their life so frenzied for power and imaginary honors that will one day be wiped out like footprints on a beach.

            As a wiser person than me once said: “The wealthiest person is a pauper at times
            Compared to the man with a satisfied mind “

    • How about building a time machine and cleverly preventing her from having her “political career”?

  34. Honestly thank you for posting this, I’ve been trying to articulate how I feel about Palin’s part in all this and this hit the nail on the head.

  35. Palin/Paltrow in 2012 to lead us into the apocalypse!!!

  36. I have nothing left when it comes to this woman… other than sympathy for those who look at her and actually believe in her.

    I look at her and see:

  37. the flag goes on the other side. why does she hate Old Glory?

  38. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  39. As she get’s older, her jaw becomes more square shaped. Thus, she looks more like a human bobblehead every day.

    • See oakentable dude! You *can* criticize her appearance, you just have to make it FUNNY. Or CLEVER. Or INSIGHTFUL. See the difference?

  40. Haha I love this guy’s writing style. Entertaining and a breeze to read!

  41. Oh noes, Sean Hannity! Good heavens, Glenn Beck! Your queen used a TelePrompTer! What now?

    If this was her audition to show us how she would speak to the nation if she were president, I would politely say, “NEXT!”

  42. It’s not safe to put a flag next to a hearth.

  43. She said the criminality was “monsterous”.

    Subtly passing the blame, once again.

  44. I’m concerned that she might not be getting enough oxygen to her brain. Those are some very shallow breaths. Still, she must have made some very delicious statements, what w/ all the lip smacking and such as…

  45. i’m going shoot people just to see how tenaciously they hold onto life! I’m glad I got the chance to see how good people are at doing that! Sounds like a fun game to me!

  46. The USA is an example of what happens to democracy when the majority of people goes full retard. Socrates is facepalming in his grave.

  47. What about those signs the “left” had protesting Bush. They were actually saying they were going to SHOOT HIM. That is illegal. They should have been thrown in jail (at least) as long as Pres. Bush is alive, but nothing happened. This division between us all gives the government more power against us. They even create the problems so that they can throw us in a ring while they spend their time bickering and pass the time of day. The media becomes the referee and THEY throw as many punches as we do.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.