Eek! I honestly think that children suffering from TV Face are even sadder than children suffering from REAL diseases. WON’T ANYONE THINK OF THE HORRIFYING CHILDREN?! (Via Today.Tumblr.)

Comments (73)
  1. “ANYONT” is not a word, genius

    • You forgot the period at the end of your sentence, IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU ARE SO DUMB!

    • I think you’ve mistaken haphazard spelling with literary technique, here, Steve. Gabe was clearly so emotionally wrought by his viewing experience that he didn’t have the TIME to spellcheck. It’s an intentional flaunting of our spelling/grammatical conventions, like when Joyce puts all those “yes”‘s in the middle of sentences at the end of Ulysses, or like when William S. Burroughs cuts up his manuscript and pastes it back together because he thinks he can divine the hidden meaning behind the straight prose.

      • Joyce didn’t intend for all of those “yes”‘s to be there. He just hit submit on a form a bunch of times while it was processing.

        • But what a lot students fail to grasp is that meaning can be, and is created, without intent. Hemingway intended for “old man and the sea” to be about hookers chewing bubble gum and having a bubble-blowing contest, but there were so many typos, no spellcheck at the time, it turned into a man struggling with a fish and thinking about the yankees for thee days…all this by accident

  2. WHAT?? this kid is brilliant!

  3. Those tacos are lacking in the spaghetti department

  4. Child actors and food are usually such a winning combination.

  5. Also food should never be described as “nicely edible”

    • Edible is kind of redundant when it comes to food, no?

    • “Upon arriving at Le Bernadin, one is struck by the ambiance. The table is very sturdy, the lighting made everything visible, and the chairs are exquisitly sit-downy. The food provided sustinance by fulfilling my caloric needs in a totally good way. 5 stars.” -Frank Bruni

  6. If this kid wasn’t on iCarly, he would be relegated to serving Jalapeno Shooters at TGI Friday’s.

  7. Wait, I thought Jackson reviewed movies?

    • Ok, so here I am, hours later, not at work, with free time to watch all the videos I couldn’t ’cause I was at work.

      27 seconds. I made it 27 seconds into this before I started weeping.

  8. Why did I watch that whole clip? That is 3:55 of my life that I can never get back.

  9. Gabe are you trying to tell us something? You liken us to turkeys in the previous post and then this about freaky plastic people making turkey tacos…

  10. Gabe are you trying to tell us something? You liken us to turkeys in the previous post and then this about freaky plastic people making turkey tacos… POURQUOI?

  11. GHA. I suck at posting today.

  12. You Can Make It Up: Reed Alexander Launches his Crusade for Healthy School Lunches

  13. I’m glad that the FOOD he is making is so “nicely edible.” I guess everyone else eats razor blades

  14. Wow, I suddenly have so much more respect for Kathie Lee and whoever that other one is for putting up with all this kid’s shit without batting an eyelash. I would have lost my shit the seventh time he grappled my elbows while declaring us best friends.

    He seems like the type of person who knows all the right things to say for every situation from seeing other people do it, but he doesn’t actually understand any of what he’s saying.

  15. That was a solid four minutes worth of cringe.

  16. Not since Richard Simmons have I seen such an enthusiasm for health from such an untrustworthy source.

  17. Is Kathie Lee sauced or retarded? its becoming harder to tell…

  18. Kathie Lee’s face after she says “16 and PROUD!” was priceless.

    It was like she caught herself outing him, which he did for himself, probably one decade prior.

    • For you see, the child’s mannerism is very homosexual, in what society has deemed to be quite a stereotypical fashion, therefore the word “proud” might be associated in this particular case with “gay pride”. I thought explaining your explanation would triple the hilarity!

  19. I think this young man is charming, and I want to go to his cocktail parties when he he 21 and proud.

  20. That kid is a demonic puppet.

  21. I feel like he needs a bowtie.

  22. whenever i’m around people like this kid (and i was a dance major so ive been around my share of people like this, nocapezio-o) i get completely EXHAUSTED for them. like, you are hooked up to a microphone dude, you don’t need to be singing to the rafters every time you talk. we can hear you. and see you, btw, so calm down Gesturedamas. also, people like this kid act like that ALL THE TIME, even when they’re not on stage/camera. they’re always “on.” and i just want to be like “don’t you get TIRED? don’t you realize no one else is looking at you and even if they were, it’s just because you’re SO EFFING LOUD that they can’t hear their own conversation? don’t you see we are at a pub and there are no hollywood producers here to ‘discover’ you? don’t you see that i am wearing sweatpants and therefore could give a shit about myself, much less you?” Uffff. EXHAUSTING.

  23. Who the fuck is Alexander Reed? I will pretend to keep not knowing.

  24. Perhaps it’s Newcastle Brown Ale (Drink it. With your mouth.) floating happily in my belly.

    But I think that Kathie Lee is the Lucille Bluth of T he Today Show.

    Matt Lauer of course. Is Buster.

  25. Holy smokes, I saw this kid at a live taping of The Jimmy Kimmel show (we were there for his musical guest, Joanna Newsom). I was very happy that I wasn’t attractive enough to be seated in the first row.

  26. No, those fucking tacos in a cup are not that easy. You gotta soak the beans overnight! You have to prepare the meal one day in advance! That is not super easy, kid actor!

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