mechanic_poster

The Mechanic poster has been out for awhile now, it is not new. It is a big gun made up of smaller guns! I am pretty sure it started out as a Threadless t-shirt? (SIDENOTE: has anyone noticed how design-y all the movie posters are these days even for bunk movies? They are so design-y. There’s probably a heated competition going on between Rem Koolhas and Chip Kidd to design the poster for Five Fast Five Furious.) But even though the poster is old news, Videogum reader Craig points out that it comes with a very good tagline:

“Someone has to fix the problems.”

HAHAHHAHAHAH. Man, that is SO TRUE. Someone does have to fix the problems. And I’m going to be honest with you, if you follow that up with “And that someone is Jason Statham” I will believe you. Sure. I mean, someone has to fix them so why NOT Jason Statham? Good luck, Jason Statham. We all appreciate it very much. P.S. I sure hope the problems include, like, all the problems and not just exacting bloody revenge on your former crimeland employer who fatally double-crossed you. I mean, by all means, please go ahead and fix that problem, but please do not stop there. This world has so many problems in need of your attention! (Click through to enlarge.)

Comments (82)
  1. Videogum: Someone Has to Post All of the Trampoline Accidents

  2. “It Has Tools In It”

  3. And here I thought Vanilla Ice was going to solve all of our problems while we checked out the hook his DJ was revolving.

  4. The tagline should read: Exactly the same as every other Jason Statham movie

    • Boo, I say. Boo. Don’t make me have to write a comment talking about the differences between Lock Stock and The Bank Job and The Exependables. Aside from the fact that he doesn’t take his shirt off enough in any of these movies, THEY ARE NOTHING ALIKE.

  5. How do you fix a problem like Maria?

  6. Someone has to eat all of the cheese. Me.

  7. Many Small Guns. One Big Voltron Gun.

  8. Ben Foster? Yeah, I’d hit that!

    Jason Statham? Sure, why not?!

    • I have an inexplicable love for Ben Foster. It is very real to me. I would like to ask him something real quick almost all of the time.
      See Also: Ryan Gosling. Something about those blonde Canadians…

      • I have the same thing for Jason Statham. I don’t know where it comes from because all of my other celebrity crushes are thin and wimpy.

      • You’re welcome

      • Back off, Polly Jean! RYAN GOSLING IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Chesty LaRue, that may be the best thing that has ever happened to me. My live is fairly uneventful but thank you all the same!

          Nightmare, I would say I’m sorry but I’m really, really not. It’s a fantasy we will just have to learn to share. Please don’t cut me. My blood doesn’t clot very easily on the count of all the alcohol and ibuprofen I consume…

          On a serious note, is it you that lives in New Orleans? Do you know if Blue Valentine is showing anywhere in LA? I live in Baton Rouge, but I am willing to travel.

          • *life. Shit.

          • I’m glad we both lead uneventful lives and I was able to bring some joy…

            Nightmare, you win again.

          • I don’t share Ryan, Polly Jean! I don’t know if you’ve heard but there was a Twitition that made me President of the Videogum Ryan Gosling Fan Club.

            However, yes, I am in New Orleans. Here is the lowdown. I work right by the Canal Place Theaters and I saw the poster up the other day, so I was like, “Yes, it’s playing!” Well, I go on the website to check showtimes. NO INFO! WTF, Right?! So at this point, I think they are just trying to fuck with me. I have heard that more theaters will be getting in nationwide starting tomorrow…So I am crossing my fingers that Canal Place will be one of them. I mean, they have the poster, so eventually we will get to see it. Maybe we should make a meet up out of it! Hit me up on Twitter @dismynightmare

          • I was unaware of the Twitter petition. Mainly because I really don’t understand Twitter. Don’t worry- at most I would want to be secretary of the fan club. I don’t think I could handle the day in/day out struggles of a Presidency…

            BV is listed as “coming soon” on the Canal Place website but there is no date. Maybe it’ll open tomorrow or next weekend at the latest? I may come to NOLA on Sunday. I am trying desperately to stay away from my television so I was thinking that a day out might be in order. If Canal Place has it, I will definitely get in touch.

  9. One Mechanic. Many Problems Fixed.

  10. Man, fixing a car with a gun must be really hard.

  11. Jason Statham! because Charles Bronson and Scatman Crothers are dead.

  12. If guns are phallic symbols, then this is the gayest poster ever.

  13. Unless you’re Jason Statham!

  14. Ironically, the one problem he couldn’t fix was Hollywood.

  15. Jason Stratham IS “Someone.”

  16. Whoa, Gabe name droppin’ the Chip Kidd. Very impressive.

  17. His nipples and tongue alone can restart a car.

    • Glad I am not the only one who took The Daily Show’s advice on how to cure my Seasonal Affective Disorder on a budget.

  18. I’m going to be very upset if this movie does not feature a giant gun made up of regular-sized guns. But I’m sure it does, because that’s what the poster shows. I’m just wondering if they’ll all join together to form some mega-super-powerful Temrinator/Tranformer hybrid kind of gun, or if it will just be this very big and dangerous crazy gun that, when fired will kill everyone within 500 yards because all those guns are firing in different directions. Either way, this looks like a very good movie for people who want to see giant guns made of smaller guns.

    Guns.

  19. Someone has to make the donuts.

  20. Despite all the problems this movie will definitely have, I will definitely see it. Because, Jason Statham.

  21. One problem that definitely needs fixin’ quick is the Brown Witch Problem. Remember that documentary? Those kids lost in the woods wouldn’t be so scared of the invisible witch if Jason Statham was there to administer a little ass whuppin’ to the Brown Witch and her projects. That was the “it” film of 1999.

  22. A few weeks ago someone brought in a meta-cannoli to work. It was a giant cannoli with about 100 mini cannolis inside it. It was amazing.

    This…doesn’t look so amazing. But I do like Ben Foster.

  23. Jezebel: Someone has to talk about rape incessantly.

  24. Just like the gun in the poster, Jason Statham is played by a bunch of tiny Ben Fosters…

  25. AH I JUST SAW THAT TAGLINE TODAY AND THOUGHT THE SAME THING!!!

    Also, it immediately reminded me of this, which is one of my faves:

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/somebody-should-do-something-about-all-the-problem,11018/

    Also, a twitter joke I made (LOLRECYCLE): “I can’t wait to see Ben Foster in the new Jason Statham movie, ‘The Transporter’s Apprentice.’”

    Alright, I’ll go.

  26. This reminds me a lot of the poster for the surprising fantastic game Just Cause 2.

    A scorpion made of guns? SOLD!

  27. More on point though- Gabe, even if the film sucks, I would LOVE it if graphic designers got free reign to do awesome movie poster work ALL THE TIME, no matter the quality of the film. Good movie posters is good movie posters. We see them everywhere. They might as well be fucking QUALITY. If I see another 5 head photoshop montage of the celebrities in a film, or the ugly photoshop affairs you used to feature (Bruno, Takers, etc, you should really bring that back), I’ll take one of those many guns straight out of this poster and blow my brains out (figuratively, don’t worry).

    AND- BRING BACK PAINTED/ILLUSTRATED POSTERS. DREW STRUZAN CAN’T AND SHOULDN’T BE THE ONLY ONE WORKING ON THESE. THERE ARE MANY CAPABLE ILLUSTRATORS THAT COULD PRODUCE SOME BANGING POSTERS. ALSO, I’M SORRY THIS IS IN ALL CAPS BUT I’M SHOUTING SO IT’S JUSTIFIED. AnAmPat knows…

  28. Jason Statham faces a dilema similar to the one Achilles faced during the Trojan War. Achilles could kill Hector and then attain heroic status and never be forgotten, but this would also ensure his own death. His other option was to go home and accomplish a bunch of smaller tasks that would not have remotely the same amount of glory, but he would live a long and (somewhat) happy life. He chose immortality through fame.
    Jason Statham did not.

  29. “Someone Still Has to Fix the More Problems” – The Mechanic 2: The Mechanics

  30. There’s also this poster for The Mechanic, in which Jason Statham’s fist and pistol are blown up to the size of his head.

    [IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/22e45l.jpg[/IMG]

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