From the HollywoodReporter:

McG has won the contest for the gig to direct Ouija for Universal and is now in negotiations.

The studio’s planned film adaptation of the classic Hasbro board game about conjuring up spirits of the dead has had a tough go at finding a director but before the town shut down for the holidays, Heat Vision reported that McG presented Universal execs his vision for the project, which has a script by Tron: Legacy writers Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz and is being produced by Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes.

He was vying for the gig against The Crazies director Breck Eisner, who pitched his take on the material the week before.

Oh to have been a fly on the wall at those meetings. “I promise you that my vision for Ouija Board: The Movie is an unimaginable travesty.” “WAIT! My concept for Ouija Board: The Movie will be much worse!” And on and on. I bet all the SUITS in Hollywood referred to that epic battle as McAlien Vs. BreckPredator because WHOEVER WINS WE LOSE. Do you get it? I predict a terrible movie in our future. DO YOU GET THAT ONE AT LEAST? Ghosts.

Comments (63)
  1. I think Gabe spelled that out for us pretty well.

  2. There was a “contest” to direct the Ouiji movie? I’m assuming McG lost then?

  3. Ouija Board will never be Jumanji.

  4. The irony is that if people were using a ouija board to summon a name and they got “McG” they’d be like, “That’s not a name! Fuck this!” and throw it at the wall.

  5. Charlie’s Angels is untouchably perfect, so

  6. I heard that before writing the script, they asked the Ouija board to help them write it. It gave the strange response of “GOFU CKY OURS ELVES”.

  7. To be fair, McG did get Ouija confused with this:

  8. Me and Hasbro are done professionally man.

  9. Ouija movie pitch: Copper Boom! (Lauren Graham) and her high school friends dress all in black, dye their hair black, put on lots of cross jewelry, and purchase a mass-marketed Ouija board from Kmart. When they get back to her house, they light lots of her mom’s cranberry-scented candles (because red, duh), and proceed to use the board for fifteen minutes, before arguing for four hours about who’s moving the little triangle thingy to spell out “Copper…Boom…is…a…slut.”

    Twist ending: it was a sexy, sexy ghost.

    M. Night Shaymalan to direct.

    • Your movie would be a lot more interesting than mine.

      “Ringy brings home special Ouija board borrowed from school friend. Ringy’s mom finds game, declares it an instrument of the devil, and throws it out. The next hour and half is Ringy and Mom praying for Ringy’s soul. The End

      • Or mine:

        hotspur is 10 and finds a Ouija board in a pile of old board games in the basement and his mom says “Oh, this?” and proceeds to tell him the tale of a party she was at in her youth when the board knew all kinds of things about everyone there. When someone said “This is BS,” the board said “Go to the next room and wait for a sign,” and so they all did and it was creepy and quiet and just as someone said “I told you! BS!” — at that moment a huge stroke of lightning hit the tree just outside the window and blew it up. Even though it wasn’t even cloudy out.

        This freaked out hotspur so he never used the Ouija board. Until one night when he was 17. Then, he had some friends over, and he told them the story. No one called it BS, and they sat down at the board and waited. And waited. But nothing happened. Because they all believed his mom.

        • Or Mine:

          Girl Friday and friends play Ouija Board on Halloween in one friend’s supposedly haunted house. After several uneventful rounds, board claims it is inhabited by the spirit of one friend’s deceased mother. Board says “tell my family I am sorry.” Said friend spends the rest of the night crying and being consoled in a back bedroom. Girl Friday realizes one of her friends is a huuuuuuge bitch. The End!

          • Oh my God! The same thing happened with my friend and her dad and ALL OF US CRIED AND IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST INTENSE MOMENTS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE THE END. OUIJA IS REAL!!

      • In fairness to your mom, Ringy, the devil does work at Hasbro, so….

    • Based on (seriously) a true story pitch: Natatattat goes to a slumber party in Jr. High at her friend Christine’s house and brings a Ouija board because FUN. Around midnight her and her friends bust it out to contact recently deceased hunkster River Phoenix, when her friend’s mother hears what they are doing she is promptly kicked out for bringing a tool of “the Devil” into her house and is no longer allowed to hang out with Christine. (Here is where the movie delineates from the unfortunate and crazy real life story) Natatattat distraught about losing her closest friend uses the ouija board to contact the dead to torment the mother and all those who stand in the way of her revenge.

  10. I just logged in to say that I just found out that McG was a producer on “Stay Alive” which is easily the gold standard for killer videogame movies.

  11. Everybody made fun of me when I was little because I wasn’t allowed to play with Ouija Boards, but I now I sort of feel like the joke’s on them.

  12. (too soon?)

  13. Well, it’s a good fit. Both McG and Ouija Boards are instruments of Satan.

  14. That’s ok. I heard a ghost was tapped to helm the next Charlie’s Angels sequel.**

    ** I have no idea what this means. I just got off a cross country flight so deal with it.

  15. More like Ouija BORING…haja

  16. Hopefully, after this movie bombs, the only movie McG will be able to make is Sq-Ouija. Get it? Because he will be working at a gas station.

  17. I think the best art made about a spirit-board-thing gone wrong was The Mars Volta’s 2008 album The Bedlam in Goliath.

    What? This isn’t Stereogum? Then where am I supposed to post this opinion? Goddammit. 2011 sucks.

    • I had a dream that stereogum & videogum became one site. We all met at a hs gym and there were two groups of us who just stared at each other across the gym. (Insert tommy lee jones dressed as a sherif pic)

  18. Battleship gets a movie adaptation, Ouija Board gets a movie adaptation…yet my prayers for a KERPLUNK! adaptation still go unanswered.

    • I’m still waiting for “Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Search For The Golden Marble”, “Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur: Dino Out of Time”, and “Twister: Not that Stupid Tornado”.

      • Twister could be a horror/thriller movie where the killer spins the dial and has to go kill someone for the body part it lands on.

  19. Can Christian Bale be in it? Please?

    Christian: “FUCK! What the fuck is it with this Ouija board?! Think for a fucking second! I want to fucking kick your fucking ass! Give me a fucking answer! What don’t you fucking understand?!”

  20. Whenever McG feels like he might have a ridiculous name for an adult, he calls Ditty Dirty Money for a little pep talk.

  21. I was hoping they’d make a movie of “November Spawned a Monster” first.

  22. McGarnicle is the only McG I can support.

  23. I literally have no idea who this guy is, should I?

    • he did a bunch of 90s music videos. i really recommend his wiki:

      In 1995, McG produced Sugar Ray’s first album and co-wrote several songs on their second, including their smash hit “Fly.”

      • Wow, that’s quite a resume. Full of tales of woe (he almost directed the pilot of the OC!) and sorrow (his remake of the Revenge of the Nerds was cancelled!). But what disturbs me most is his ‘interest’ in directing an adaptation of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Nooooo!

  24. Completely random but perhaps life changing anecdote:

    So, lately I’ve been using this website called StumbleUpon and it randomly takes you to a website that matches your interests (some of mine being cats, art, humor, cartoons, beer). I love this site, it’s my new way to unwind at the end of a “busy” day. Last night it stumbled me to this website that tells you what song was #1 in the US/UK/AUS during whatever date you entered in to the system. I was figuring out what songs were #1 hits when my friends were born when one friend asks me if I figured what song was hot when I was conceived. I shrugged it off with a “gross” but later tried to figure it out as close as possible without asking my parents any awkward questions. I learned that around the time I was conceived Roll With It by Steve Winwood was #1….. haha explains a lot.

  25. I bet ‘board’ is spelled B-O-R-E-D.

  26. Maybe this is my Bible belt, parochial school upbringing talking, but Ouija boards scare the crap out of me.

  27. How quickly the world has forgotten about Witchboard and Witchboard 2.

  28. I doubt 4Chan will be outraged at this pussy being dumped in a rubbish bin.

    (I am so very, truly sorry)

  29. Taking One For The Team: Monsters Edition: brrrrrian goes to McG & Mark Mcgrath’s restaurant, which is right down the street from his house.

  30. I just realized Jason Sudeikis could probably do a killer McG imitation. This is solely an assumption because I can now see him dressed like McG in my head.

  31. Yesterday I was playing Ouija and I contacted the ghost of Santa Claus who told me I was going to be a Doctor in Kansas and drive a Semi.

  32. Woah…is that Kevin Millar? Has anyone ever seen McG and Kevin Millar in the same room at the same time?

    And more importantly am I really taking the time to bring up a sports reference on videogum in a day old post?

  33. “You totally did not just move it with your finger.” –Ouija: The Movie.

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