Red Dawn, of course, is the 1984 movie about a group of high schoolers (GO WOLVERINES!) who fight an invading Russian army to save America (the #1 country on Earth). It was directed by John Milius (Conan The Barbarian, Flight of the Intruder, Red Dawn) and here is a fun fact: it was the first movie to receive a PG-13 rating. (Here’s another fun fact I just learned: John Milius is the reason that cages in the UFC are octagon-shaped? What a world!) Anyway, they’re remaking Red Dawn because of course they are. They would remake YOUR MOM if they could. This is the first image of the new cast! I guess it was taken on a Walkman or something? The Russians probably confiscated all of the cameras and cameraphones and just anything whatsoever that wasn’t made out of rubber bands and cereal boxes. (All of the gang’s clothing seen here is definitely made out of rubber bands and cereal boxes, and also maybe some dental floss, twist ties, and soda can tabs.) OH YOU RUSSIANS, I HATE YOU SO MUCH! Right? We hate them again? I’m simply assuming that we hate them, since that’s kind of the only way that a remake of Red Dawn makes sense. DOWN WITH COMMIES! And other such captions.
Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. THESE COMMENTS DON’T RUN! (Image via /Film.)