Aww, thanks, Maury! Maury Christmas to YOU. (Via Amil.)
in Christianity, the last shall be first
Were you upset by the results of your DNA test?
I suck my beer gut in to look like abs too.
I was shocked the first time I saw this picture, I always thought Gabe looked more like this.
That is a very creepy picture to have of your father.
why would gawker want a picture of charlie day with his shirt off?
Have you guys ever wondered: WHAT IF they had abortion back in the day of Jesus?
I have not
fair enough, but what about pondering this: being one of us and riding on the bus?
that exchange between you two makes no sense whatsoever
I wouldn’t be surprised if this particular question legitimately keeps Glenn Beck up at night.
He just would have been born 3 days later.
Oh boy — that is a good joke (no backslapo)
Also, I like to think that if Jesus had been aborted he would have just walked back into heaven and God would have been all, “Son? What you you doing here? I thought I told you to get down there and clean up that mess.”
“I like to think about aborting Jesus.”–Teacherman
I once went to Great Falls, Montana for a hockey tournament and outside our hotel room there was a huge billboard that said “Mother mary was Pro-Life. Thank God.”
That would be my hometown, and I remember that sign. Yep.
There are a number of similar ones surrounding one of the bigger, crappier bars in town now. The same bar has ten-foot-tall, light-up-neon palm trees in the parking lot. This is all very hilarious when you’re stumbling drunk into your friend’s car at bar time in a snowstorm just before Christmas.
Ask some of the people who protest abortion, most of them were around then.
Last Christmas I gave you my heart, and also gave my heart to 10 other men, which one is the father?
Merry Christmas from BNPG- #liquorlockerlit
The Old(-Fashioned) Man and the Sea
The Old Man and the Seagrams
The Master of Margaritas
100 Years of Stoli-tude
Uncle Tom’s Collins
Look Homeward, FrAngelico
A Good Manhattan is Hard to Find
The Great Gatsbeer
House of the Seagrams Seven Gabels
I.P.A. Walk to Remember
Mezcal of the Wild
The Rum Diaries (too easy?)
Gin and Juice the Obscure
Rime of the Ancient Grand Marnier
White Russian Noise
Franzia and Zooey
Catcher in the Michters
The Virgin Cosmo Suicides
The Natural Light
Blood(y Mary) Meridian or Bloody Mary-dian
There May Be Bloody Mary.
The Turn of the Screwdriver
The Yiddish Policeman’s Pub
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Drunk
…I don’t wanna hijack this
Jack (Daniels) and Jill
The Adventures of Captain Morgan Underpants
Jameson the Giant Peach
Ketel One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
The Heart of Dark Rum
The Rum Also Rises
At the Mountains of Mad Dog 20 20
Mash (instead of Trash, by Dorothy Allison, oh I give up)
no country fo(u)r loko old men
Photoshop this guy into a Bedouin outfit and I think we’ve really got something
I wished I loved anything in the world as much as this guy loves not being the father.
In the spirit of full disclosure, this is the exact dance I do when I find a bonus onion ring in with my french fries.
That’s what I do anytime I see a spider. Those things are creepy, you guys!
That is at Benny Hill speed…. i can only hope maury added the benny hill music as well…
Here you go floydmalloy:
By the way. This might be my most favorite thing I’ve ever posted.
everthing is better with benny hill music…thats a fact
It is definitely on of my Favorite Things™ you’ve posted. I can’t stop watching.
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