This video of a demo of a new game for the XBOX Kinect is kind of NSFW, I guess? I mean, it basically features Buzz Lightyear wearing crotchless panties, so if that’s going to be a problem, just be aware.

Haha. Fair enough! If rubbing your Nintendo VirtualBoy ghost hand all over the Sims chest of some Lawnmower Woman is “hot” then go for it. Although, I do really hope that she moans with a Radiohead OK Computer voice. That would be sexy I MEAN HILARIOUS. (Via TheWorldsBestEver.)

Comments (67)
  1. You were saying, Ebert?

  2. Weird how it is designed to work with just one hand.

  3. “Ooooh, baby. That’s it. Now fitter. Happier.” – videogame ladylover

  4. It still looks better than the Brokeback Mountain game they came out with for the Wii.

  5. I think it looks like a really good game, you guys! –Leisure Suit Larry

  6. The blur-face was a nice try but I totally recognize that black turtleneck, Gabe.

  7. Well that should keep Steve Winwood occupied for a couple of hours, funtime guys

    • oooohhhh sick “burn” on me ooohhh ow how will I ever recover from such an epic diss of such epic proportions ooohhhhhhhhhh

    • Are you two having some sort of domestic dispute? If so, I want to live with Ian after the divorce, Steve Winwood looks a little too much like he would casually try to eat my grandma, then be like “nooo, I AM your grandma.”

      • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  8. Is ‘touching’ the fake girls the extent of this game? Because I think it would just be funny if you could do them.. there’d be air humping all over the place

  9. Why would anyone want to make a game where you’re caressing a virtual girl?

    Oh, ok. Gross.

  10. Glad to see the graphic engineers responsible for this are still working.

  11. Finally, a way to touch boobs without ever having to feel them.

    • you know how when you’re touching boobs, and suddenly your hand just disappears into the boob for a few seconds, and you don’t any longer have a hand, it’s just in some other dimension?

      they really got that part right at least

  12. Just what these guys need Virtual women for them to leave horribly unsatisfied.

  13. Just a heads up, I think the second girl had fake boobs, because they didn’t jiggle as much as the first girl’s when they were being caressed, lame.

  14. “Fantastic! I’ll take one!”

  15. Did anyone else think things were going to get good when the guy brought up TWO hands? Only to just rotate the screen. Lame

  16. Three things should be noted:
    1. Nothing like this will ever officially come out in America, ‘cuz no major retailer would sell it, and Microsoft would never approve it.
    2. Tons of games like this already exist in Japan, just without using the Kinect interface. But the things they’ll do with the DS stylus, not to mention other *far more specific* input methods…
    3. No gamer would pay for something virtual when he can get the exact same real life experience from a girl who falls asleep on an airplane. Duh. (And sleeping airplane girl is far less likely to look quite as disgusted as Virtual Touch Victim #2.)

    • To: silentkit
      From: Frank Lloyd Wrong
      CC: Videogum Monsters

      Subject: Re: Point Number 3


      I’m worried about you.

      -Frank Lloyd Wrong

    • oh, ok, I won’t spend a few bucks on a videogame. I’ll spend hundreds of dollars on a plane ticket, somewhere, and hopefully sit next to a deepsleeping supermodel. and break the law and hopefully not get caught. and molest somebody. and then get off the plane somewhere not my home. that’s a solid financial decision.

      what the hell are we talking about?

  17. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • You know, this just isn’t funny. I get that you are trying to be edgy, but you know shit like this happens to real people in this world and it is terrible. I don’t think there is any excuse for making jokes about it.

      I get that people think that it is okay to joke about anything–comedy must be unfettered! But you know what, it isn’t true. Words matter and words can hurt. We all have a responsibility to not make people’s lives worse. We have a responsibility to not hurt other people casually for the sake of a cheap joke.

      And also: it isn’t even funny. Being shocking isn’t funny and it isn’t clever. You are turning real people’s pain into a joke. You should not do that.

      • And also: I know I am being a jerk about this, but you know what? I don’t care. I am a jerk and shit like this makes me really angry. I can’t always be upright and kind.

        • I don’t think nonconsensual sexual touching is being advocated here. Silentkit is making a point about the pathology of the type of gamer who would be into this. Like subway gropers in Japan, which I hear is still a problem.

          • i have no idea what the hell he’s talking about, but it’s definitely not clear that it’s a point about the pathology of gamer types.

            porn and porn games – sure, whatever man. they’re weird, but go ahead. it’s not a pathology to be interested in sex.

            cheap jokes about molesting people – nah. like mans basically said – fuck you.

        • Mans, while I appreciate your position, for some people, making a joke about something painful is the only way they can tolerate that painful thing. And, while no, I don’t think that everything is funny, if someone can find a little humor in something that is otherwise soul-crushing, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I have no idea yours or Silentkits personal history, but this is a comedy blog, and a lot worse things have been said here. That being said, I do not believe the anonymity of the internet licenses us to behave like assholes – as someone who found out this week that their grandpa is dying, via facebook, I’m the first one to have a major opinion about internet appropriateness. So here is what I am suggesting, purple-nurples all around (or at least one for me?), and then we can take a nap.

      • Um, I wasn’t trying to be edgy. I made a lame joke. I’m very sorry that you were very offended. I didn’t think it would be offensive. My (lame) point was that this “game” looks like someone brushing their hands across a female that is like totally not responding, and it kind of looks molest-y, not at all like the beautiful and interactive act that is Doin’ It. By extension, it seems to me that this kind of thing (which, again, will never exist in America, because ESRB and society and stuff) would only appeal to the kind of creepy creeper who would kind of just want to touch a lady who wasn’t moving. I was not advocating molestation? At all? Because who is?
        I have, on many an occasion, been a lone lady on an airplane (full of gaming nerds) packing sleeping pills, and have jokingly asked any male acquaintance who may be on the same flight to keep an eye out for me. I guess that popped into my head. I didn’t mean to offend anyone, or suggest that molestation is totally awesome. If it came across that way, I am very sorry. I think I’m more offended that my post just wasn’t very funny, but that’s my deal. Your deal is obviously different, and I’m sorry I didn’t anticipate any other kind of deals.

        • ‘fuck you’ retracted. sorry. it definitely sort of came across that way.

          as for who’s advocating molestation on the web – actually, plenty of people.

          (that’s just an article, not a fucked-up website. it is about the kind of thing that I thought maybe you were going for. so if you’re interested in reading a sane person’s take on the insanity of the web, it actually is safe to click on.)

          • Thanks for the retraction. I can’t believe how shitty I’ve felt from something someone said on a website I go to for videos of dancing dogs. I’m a little less likely to throw up now, and also I’m probably just going to keep my comments to myself. Sorry! No molesto! Seriously!

          • I don’t think you should worry about this. I get your joke

        • Don’t apologize for making a joke, silentkit. Some folks love to pounce on imagined moral failings and then grandstand about it. I love how quickly that festive “fuck you” was retracted when the fact that you’re a girl was made apparent. As if gender was somehow a determining factor in the validity of your humor.

          Knee-jerkers are just jerks.

          • pot or kettle or something?

          • you’re a spazz man.

            you don’t like people apologizing for things?

            there are so many fucked up assholes writing comments on the web – there’s literally a website for flashers to coach other people into flashing people. why the fuck NOT knee jerk, man? and why the fuck not be cool when other people apologize?

          • You haven’t made a lick of sense in any of your three posts, pennyarcade.

            Seriously, you think “calling out something POTENTIALLY in poor taste” is a sound policy? You think the backwaxers and the Mans around here deserve approbation for jumping down people’s throats and then apologizing?

            How about not jumping to wild conclusions in the first place? Maybe torque that hair-trigger down a notch before getting all Moral Majority on a poster’s ass. Surely that’s a better strategy than launching into personal attacks at the first sign of POTENTIAL impropriety.

          • I guess man.

            1. how wild is the conclusion that point 3 above was weird? more than 50% of what was weird about it was that it suggested that an economical place to feel sleeping girls up was a PLANE – I just thought the logic there was ridiculous. the context – that one of the times that silentkit has actually felt a bit creeped out was on a plane – allowed me to see the sarcasm and even kind of like the joke.

            2. the whole creepy aspect – it’s not the worst comment ever, but at least 20 people that upvoted frank above did not understand the sarcasm. dude, this is a comedy blog – if you’re going to miscommunicate a joke, you may get teased; if it came out offensive, which this one reasonably did, you may get told that your joke wasn’t cool. whatever. she explained it (and, though you hate this, apologized) and everyone admitted that it was no big fucking deal. jumping down throats? I’m hundreds of miles away in a direction nobody knows. I’m not jumping down anyone’s throat. I’m sitting alone writing jokes.

            seriously, everyone came out of this looking kind of cool. like everyone was open to everything everyone else wrote. except you, who told people not to apologize and didn’t chill out when other people apologized. chill out.

          • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • I’m not picking on anybody. I’m not telling anybody what to do.

            Everyone here is responsible for what they write. The joke, as originally botched, looked like the kind of flippant shit joke that people make on the web that downplays the disgustingness of molestation is there just to piss people off.

            Then she explained where she was coming from, and I realized the point of it was more of a sarcasitic, nihilistic “perverts are just gonna be perverts” joke. Then, instead of being confused and somewhat disgusted by it, I kind of liked it. I’m sorry that while it was unclear what it was about, and I fairly expressed disgust with what was there, silentkit was feeling stressed out. I’m glad she explained the intent better.

            There’s 2 things that I think you’re saying that I disagree with. If you’re not saying them how I’m hearing them, sorry, I’m getting you wrong.

            1. “Some folks love to pounce on imagined moral failings and then grandstand about it.” maybe. That’s not what I’d say I do around here. When things get stated that I disagree with, I write to disagree with them because it’s good to have the opinion that I think is right out there – for other people that agree with me to see. I do it cause I like it when people strongly state things that I agree with – it’s good for you and nice to see things that you agree said strongly by other people. It helps you feel like you’re not alone or wrong.

            2. I’m not picking on people or telling other people what to do, or changing my mind to agree with crowds, or giving a shit what you or most people say. some people I care about. votes I sort of care about. but look dude – Everyone is responsible for what they say here. say something that looks creepy, and you might get called on it. take the time to work it out, and everything is gonna be ok. there are no rules. your weird rules don’t apply to me.

          • All right, sorry. I don’t think you were grandstanding, that was unfair of me to imply. We all (as virtual strangers) sometimes fall into the trap of doing each other a disservice, or misapprehending a commenter’s intent. Myself certainly included.

          • wow. now I’m glad we went this far with this. I was at a movie just now wondering if when I got home this was going to all have gone to shit. it’s cool of you to be cool about it man.

        • Silentkit, I am sorry that I flipped out. I didn’t think you were advocating this, but I am a little touchy about jokes like this. Of course, on the internet all nuance and context tends to get lost, so if I read you wrong, I am sorry. I am a jerk, but I try not to be and I am sorry that you got the brunt of my end-of-the-week breakdown.

          This is something I have been thinking about a lot this year, the responsibility we have for the jokes we make. We all want to have fun and make each other laugh, but as I grow older, I sometimes have a hard time justifying my amusement in things that are potentially hurtful to others. (And if I have learned anything this week it is that I may be sort of a loud mouth.) I have certainly made more than my fair share of jokes that I were dumb and hurtful and crass. So let me apologize if I hurt your feelings. It is not often that I let myself go like that.

          In my life, I am trying to be a good person and a kind person. I am often not successful. I am often not right, but I am trying.

          • I know I’m quite late in responding here, but I do have to say that reading through this thread was both super frustrating and, well, kind of cathartic (?). I definitely read Mans’s initial reply sympathetically – it’s been something I’ve thought about when the discussion about the limitations of “comedy” which continue to appear periodically on this site – and felt like it was an articulate moment for calling out something potentially in poor taste.

            I think there’s a sort of limitation to the fallout – silentkit’s explanation revealed that she would actually be on the “other side” of this joke, the kind of person it would likely offend the most, and so that sort of threw the angry replies in the air. Here’s the contradiction – no, it doesn’t matter who makes the joke, because members of a group don’t get to stand in for the whole group. At the same time, it _does_ matter who makes the joke, because there are totally different politics for someone who does have to deal with a very real fear about male predators.

            The way in which both continued the conversation, though, makes me feel like maybe there is a place for thoughtful discussion in a public forum. Not that anything was “solved” (what does that even mean?), but I really appreciated the fact that Mans and silentkit approached the conversation with an open mind. Thank you both for keepin it real.

            If this is too long to read or boring, sorry. The username for the comment below me is “the hammer is my penis”….?

          • Let’s try that again:

            I definitely read Mans’s initial reply sympathetically – it’s been something I’ve also thought about when the discussion arises here on vgum about the limitations of “comedy” – and felt like it was an articulate moment for calling out something potentially in poor taste.

          • I really, really don’t want you to feel bad at all for anything on the internet, because it’s dumb (hi, I’m dumb!). I think your end-of-week breakdown and my PMS coincided in a perfect storm of feelings, but then my dog said he thinks I’m pretty cool, and I felt better. I can understand your sensitivity – nobody here knows me, so who’s to say i’m not a creepster? It’s not wise to hop into a new community and go right for rape jokes, I guess. People who know me know that I tend to say inappropriate things, which make my friends laugh because I’m kind of like a girl scout. But as far as anyone here knows, I am a lady-touching nerdvert.
            You seem like the nicest dude. Don’t feel bad. I’d post a .gif of like a monkey riding a pig or something to make you feel better, but I’m afraid that would get me assassinated.

  18. Then some stranger’s avatar ran into the frame and began yelling “Leeeeeeroy Jenkinsssss!” Totally killed the mood.

  19. To the uncanny valley…and beyond!

  20. Smell the Glove.

  21. Has it been established that this is not, in fact, an Xbox game? It’s pretty much just a proof of concept using PC drivers for the Microsoft Kinect device. Microsoft would never, ever, ever, license their brand for this kind of game, but it may very well find a home on open PCs as a digiial download.

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