From Germany’s Wikipedia page:

Germany (i /ˈdʒɜrməni/), officially the Federal Republic of Germany (German: Bundesrepublik Deutschland, pronounced [ˈbʊndəsʁepuˌbliːk ˈdɔʏtʃlant] is a country in Central Europe. It is bordered to the north by the North Sea, Denmark, and the Baltic Sea; to the east by Poland and the Czech Republic; to the south by Austria and Switzerland; and to the west by France, Luxembourg, Belgium, and the Netherlands. The territory of Germany covers an area of 357.021 km2 and is influenced by a temperate seasonal climate. With 81.8 million inhabitants, it is the most populous member state of the European Union, and home to the third-largest number of international migrants worldwide. They also have their own Brokencyde called Eskimo Callboy. They’re the absolute worst. And this is Germany we’re talking about, so that says a lot!

Very informative! Here is Eskimo Callboy covering Katy Perry’s “California Gurls.” (Note: you might want to turn your ears off):

How do you say “I hate this so much that I wish that guy from Reservoir Dogs had cut MY ears off. And then kept going and just chopped off my whole head” in German? On the plus side, I cannot wait to send Joe Mande to Germany. R.I.P. Joe Mande! Follow Eskimo Callboy on Twitter! (Thanks for the tip, Andrew.)

Comments (61)
  1. Needs more parrot.

  2. Ich hasse dieses so viel, daß ich wünsche, daß guy aus Reservoir Dogs Abgeschnitten hatte meine Ohren aus. Und dann erhalten werden und nur Abgehackt meine ganze Haupt.

    You’re Welcome!

  3. This is the worst thing ever to come out of Germany.

  4. Germany’s answer to Brokencyde: the question no one ever asked.

  5. Ow, my soul!!!

  6. Heaven just got a little more sadmalandar’s ears

  7. This could only mean one horrible thing….there is a German Millionaires out there somewhere.

  8. C’mon, it’s funny. Like Fozzy.

  9. I mean this in total earnestness: Do people really listen to this for pleasure? Are there people who think, “Man, I really want to listen to either Brokencyde or Eskimo Callboy, but I can’t decide”? Are there young men and women in this world making mix tapes for their secret crushes with these types of songs on them?

    I have to admit, I don’t understand and feel very old.

    • I listen to the Los Colorados cover of Katy Perry’s Hot & Cold for pleasure because it is a delight.

    • Agreed, Mans. We can discuss this over our free senior citizen coffee at McDonalds.

    • I often think to myself, “Self, maybe this is just like how your parents didn’t like the Sex Pistols and couldn’t understand why you did.” Then I realize that my parents never accused the Sex Pistols of being a tired representation of safe, corporate-approved “rebellion” and I feel cool again.

    • I’m just upset because apparently, this is the new Stravinsky. One day a graduate thesis will be written about how Brokencyde helped to usher in the post-post-post-modern era of music, and the riots that ensued on the Videogum comment boards.

    • I used to listen to screamo (back when I was young and stupid), and thinking back, I don’t even think I liked it at the time. I look back on that time and hate the dude I was; a melodramatic dyejob with awkward sexuality issues (as Teacherman would say, “LAAAAAAAAAADIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!”). So to answer your question, I can verify that no, not everyone who listens to it listens to it for pleasure.

  10. shouldn’t it be Iniut Escort?

  11. Hearing this song without the benefit of Katy Perry’s boobs makes me realize it sucks.

  12. I think this drove my ear infection right out. Thanks Gabe, I’m cured!

  13. A terrible Teutonic crunkcore band doing a terrible cover of a terrible song by High Priestess of Terrible Katy Perry?

    Bless you, Videogum. Bless you.

  14. Why couldn’t Gabe be a conscientious objecter and just not post this link?

  15. You’re really not going to like Alexisonfire.

  16. Refusing to jump into the crunkcore bandwagon, Italy’s answer to BrokeNCYDE remains:

  17. I like the part where he screams into the microphone.

  18. I think I saw someone with a can of 4 maXed!!!

  19. Ich hasse es so sehr, dass ich wünschte, dieser Typ aus Reservoir Dogs hätte MEINE Ohren abgeschnitten. Und dann weitergemacht und meinen ganzen Kopf abgeschnitten.

  20. can someone remake inglorious bastards with eskimo callboy/brokencyde instead of nazis?
    thats my only christmas wish

  21. Here’s the thing, the song is pretty well recorded (except for the vocals), and someone obviously took the time to EQ those guitars and mix it, so why this bad of an arrangement?

  22. Here are Britain’s very own version of Brokencyde, The Midnight Beast:

    Relax former WW1/2 enemies, you can both be the worst.

  23. My only comfort here is that if I ‘liked’ this, I would be the first of my Facebook friends to do so.

  24. Um, scuse me, I have a question. Why is this post tagged “World War II”? Just because its content is related to Germany…? If so, I find that kind of offensive, to be honest. And weird coming from Gabe who usually seems to be very alert when it comes to stereotypes.

  25. I love that they take the Katy Perry cover as the reference song used. Brokencyde is complete and utter shit with next to no talent. These guys are a joke and KNOW it. Read their fucking lyrics.

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