look_like_this

[Stephen K has a lifestyle blog and co-authors a fashion advice twitter that never gets updated. In this column, he will tell you how to get the hottest looks of today.]

Nothing says the holidays like lasers, lasercycles, and CGI renderings of a dystopian videogame virtual reality, so it’s no wonder that the crisp, winter air is electric with anticipation for the opening of Tron: Legacy this week! The breathtaking visuals and expensive futurism of the film is filling the Fashiongum staff with a shit ton of craft project and outfit ideas! And with high-end ultra-hip downtown retailer Opening Ceremony collaborating with the makers of the movie on an ultra-haute, ultra-exclusive line of limited edition clothing to coincide with the movie’s release, you know that other chic laser-tag-istas everywhere will be taking trendspiration from Tron: Legacy’s cold, neon computer generated aesthetic, even if that aesthetic is more or less that of a candy raver rolling in a dorm room equipped with a blacklight with a glow-in-the-dark pacifier hanging round her neck debating the relative merits of Goa Trance over Happy House. So thank the fucking lord for miserable you that we’re here to give you the style advice you need to make sure you don’t miss out. We’re here to take you into the net, discover the father you never knew, and get you looking like tomorrow, today!

Pew!
Pew!

One easy way to get inspired by Tron: Legacy is to not be inspired at all and just buy officially licensed clothing from one of the movie’s many merchandising partners. The priciest (and therefore cutest!) is the Opening Ceremony collaboration. The capsule collection is a subtle take on the visual cues of the movie, combined with the boutique’s signature “skinny Asian girl/guy with studied disheveled hair/clothes who reads thick, expensive, imported fashion magazines with lots of artful full frontal nudity and likes to occasionally drop references to Dave Hickey’s “Air Guitar” but likes to more frequently mention watching “Teen Mom” in a bid to appear to have high-low interests and perhaps studied Architecture or Graphic Design or Curatorial Science at Wesleyan or RISD but really wants to start a jewelry line” style.

For the ladies, this translates to these gorgeous terrible aquasocks with heels.

Though there is no water inside the Grid, it is still important to lift yourself above any potential floods and cover your foot in unbreathable neoprene. At only $395, these stunning monstrosities are sturdy enough for you to center yourself while brandishing your laser-chakram against those who wish to do you harm in the cyber-world, but aggressively ugly enough to go so against accepted societal mores that the simple act of wearing them signals your inherent disdain for and superiority over the unfashionable masses and attract the attention of midget street style bloggers on your way to the Bruce High Quality party at Art Basel Miami.

If, unlike us, you’re on some sort of budget (Did you try asking your parents for some help on rent? They’re usually really great about stuff like that!), these light-up lucite platform heels give off a majorly kicky Tronsvestite vibe for a quarter of the price! Available up to a size 12 for some reason! Pair them with a simple and classic LBCWBLVP (Little Black Catsuit With Black Light Visible Piping) and some great understated statement jewelry like this fantastic brooch, and you’ll be the only space hooker with a heart of moon-gold future Richard Gere will see. Otherwise, Big Mistake! Huge! Huge mistake!

Another great accessory on offer in this capsule collection is the reissue of Threeasfour’s, nee As Four’s, iconic (and only) design, the circle bag.

A clever and playful take on the laser frolf disc featured prominently in the movie, the bag, when worn, provides the look of having punched a smiley face with such force as to affix the offending visage to your shoulder. Fuck you, smiley face! At $575, it’s a timeless, enduring classic that will look the same amount of non-ridiculous in 20 years as it does today! As an affordable alternative that will achieve a similar effect for a fraction of the price, try this!

If these looks are too subtle for you, this minimalist black shirt captures the meticulously imagined and created digital world of the Grid, vividly rendered in the film as gorgeous expanses of dark set off by high-contrast orthogonal beams of light in incredible blues and oranges, in a direct and succinct visual message:

And if that, too, is too understated, there’s always that epitome of quiet sophistication that’s haute at any age:body paint.

We hope that these great tips and helpful hints have gotten you on the road to a future of expensive clothing purchases and potential exploration of cybernetic prosthetic limbs. And don’t worry, when that black light is shining down on all of your gorgeous new gear, no one will be able to tell you’re deep in a k-hole. Do androids dress up electric chic? YOU BET THEY DO!

Pew!
Pew!

Comments (27)
  1. Waaay ahead of you:

    • And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…

    • my tron costume actually lights up & i’m wearing it to the movie tonight! (ya burnt tron-guy)

  2. You know, I always wanted to read an article that told me how to get into Olivia Wilde’s pants, but this one took a different turn.

  3. I wonder if As Four changed their name because they were tired of people making that “WHAT’S AN AS FOUR” joke.

  4. Can we get a very special Look Like This using pictures from last week’s monster meetup? Mostly because I want the world to see Slothdrop’s t-shirt, which I found to beJUST SO GREAT FOR NO PERSONAL REASONS OF MY OWN NUH UH NO WAY.

  5. I like reading these “Look Like This!” posts in Stefon voice:

    • The city’s newest hot spot is TRONtopic. It has everything…laser mules, metal cupids, and all the Hot Fonz you could want (you’ll be beggin to sit on it).

      This is just my way of saying…I love that gif.

  6. School newspaper style section?

  7. in the future, the figure skater is considered the fashion ideal.

  8. Ok, I have to complain a little bit (BIG SHOCKER AMIRITE), but I was watching a “behind the scenes” thingummy on this flick, and they were talking about how they specifically chose that hairstyle for Olivia Wilde because it was supposed to be unattractive.

    Not only to I happen to think it is a sassy haircut, but dudes, that is the hairstyle I rocked for 8 years, and will no doubt rock again in the future. Ouch, Hollywood. Ouch indeed.

    • I feel your pain, lbt. I agreed to be in a music video my friend was working on last weekend, and when I showed up to the fitting, the stylists spent 10 minutes making fun of the clothes I was wearing. I was like, “You do realize that I’m not an actor and you aren’t paying me, right?”

    • I think they are going to need to work a bit harder if they want olivia wilde to look unattractive, this probably should have been fixed in casting.

    • Wow. yeah. they failed miserably.

  9. I sort of dig the hideous shoes. Do they come in mens sizes?

  10. I once had a friend named Reagan and every time I said her name I’d make a little gun with my forefinger and thumb and go “Pew! Pew!” She never said she hated it, so I’m sure she appreciated how cleaver I was (am).

  11. nobody’s ever going to read this, but in case Stephen K comes back to check on comments here at some odd later date, since nobody else congratulated you on this brilliant bladerunner wordplay: ‘Do androids dress up electric chic?’ – wowow. WAY TO GO DUDE!

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