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Vladimir Putin has definitely choked someone to death before, right? Like, that’s just a given? (Thanks for the tip, Bluestockings and Mary.)
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You guys want another trick? Allright, here you go:
Man, I really did miss a lot at the Austin Karaoke this weekend.
In Soviet Russia, blueberry hill sings you
I could have sworn he died in the most recent Harry Potter flick.
I just saw that this weekend. SO MUCH BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
I know, right? I wish they had split up all the movies so they weren’t so jam packed with action. This one featured actual ACTING.
Was it just me, or was Harry kinda sexy in that tent for a second? When he went to dance with Hermione?
Is it wrong that I think Emma Watson’s a total babe? Because Emma Watson is a total babe.
I’m surprised he didn’t sing Putin on the Ritz.
GAH!
I would have gone with “Putin on the Ritz” but Каждому по своему.
Aww, you had the Russian though. My hat is off to the funnier joke.
This is where I would normally make a clever joke. However, given that I enjoy being alive, I will refrain from making any jokes at Mr. Putin’s expense.
I know, he’s already gotten to Bing! Pretty sneaky, Russia…
I know, he’s already gotten to Bing! Pretty sneaky, Russia…
GAH SQUARED!
Then talk about all those Hollywood Refugees in the audience. Gerard Depardieu. Goldie Hawn. Kevin Costner! What is going on?!
The Youtube description adds an extra layer of lols.
The Russian prime minister is used to taking to the stage, but this time it was not for one of his speeches. Vladimir Putin made his audience sit up and take note puns? Ha!, as he sang at a charity fundraiser. The reception at an ice stadium in St. Petersburg was dedicated to fighting children’s cancer. International celebrities Note: celebrities may not have actually been famous since 1990, including Kevin Costner, Gerard Depardieu, Mickey Rourke, Sharon Stone, Kurt Russell, Vincent Cassel, Monica Belucci, Ornella Muti, Goldie Hawn and many others attended the benefit concert . Many of the stars are actively involved in charity work which draws needed attention to children’s oncological and ophthalmological diseases. When the hostess approached Putin’s table and asked him to sing for the audience, his immediate reaction was “are you kidding me?” ”I could have you killed!”, But the hostess was determined to get the prime minister on the mic and reminded him about the songs he sang with the Russian sleeper agents extradited from the US last summer. Hahahaha what?!, Putin attempted to evade the proposal by saying that the singing she was referring to had come from the heart ….which is still beating, unlike your father’s in Siberia, need I remind you?. However, after seeing the pictures of ill children shown to the audience on the big screen, he took to the stage. “Like the majority of people I cannot — but do like to sing and to play — so you’ll have to rough it,” he warned as he sat at the piano and played the beginning of Blueberry Hill ”Sing! Me? Oh no I couldn’t possibly…okay, pre-arranged orchestra, take your cues! ,. The tune was immediately caught by Maceo Parker’s jazz band. The prime minister then took the mic and sang it in English himself. Putin returned to the piano to sing in Russian “From What the Homeland Starts” — the song he sang with the exposed Russian agents. The audience loved his performance or else, and showed their appreciation with a standing ovation and applause or else. Many recorded the one man show on their mobile phones which were then confiscated and their owners sent to a gulag. On December 1, Putin confessed to US chat show host Larry King that he does study some songs in English with his language tutorConfessed? Shame!!!,\. When the concert was over Putin took Sharon Stone by the arm I’ll bet! and together with other guests they went on stage to sing a Russian song about cosmonauts, “Grass Near Home”. Hahahaha what?
Alexander Litvenko’s family thinks Vladimir Putin fundraising for a Cancer charity is somewhat ironic.
He pretends this is singing, but really he’s just blowing radiated plutonium all over the audience.
This is crazy, I was just thinking, “Man, I would do anything to see Vladmir Putin sing blueberry hill right now” and BOOM, there it is. At least we know why a nuclear arms treaty is so hard to get done.
a charity function?
these people realize he’s an unbearably evil dictator, yes? they seem relatively unaffected. cool it, kurt russell.
just as a heads up I might steal “cool it, kurt russell” from you
what’s mine is yours, Ian.
Everyone in the audience really seems to be enjoying his performance which makes me wonder who else sang that night
And Sarah Palin could see the whole thing from her house
Okay, shameful confession time: I watched Sarah Palin’s Alaska last night (in lieu of studying for finals) and she made that joke multiple times and one of those times I thought to myself, “hmm she seems mildly self aware” and then I remembered this is Sarah Palin we (me and my brain) are talking about so no way that is possible
But can he dance?
“What my thrill was doing in Beverley Hill, I’ll never know.”
/
BLUEBERRY HILL.
I am sucking at this today
Patrick, you are adorable.
Personally, I prefer V.Len (ft. Jo$ef Stal)’s rendition of Back in the U.$.$.R
Don’t quit your dictator job.
Needs more MC Rapsputin.
Trololol
- The Trololol guy.
That’s his aforementioned English tutor!
In Soviet Russia, Blueberry HiIl thrills you.*
Yes, its that kinda of Monday where I make a lazy Yakvov Smirnov joke.
Oh, and I plagerized Ian. I’m going back to bed.
Yours was better thought-out. Thumbs up!
Approves
Why is Putin carrying that shirtless man on his back?
Next up, Kim Jong-il singing “Moon River”
Looks like he’s Putin on the ritz! RIGHT FELLAS? DO YOU GET IT?
And it turns out that somebody already made that joke. But I definitely did it with more desperation.
At first I was like:
But then I was like:
Why does the backing band sound like a midi file?
I wish he had sung a reggae song so I could call him Ras Putin.
I’m pretty sure the answer to the question about whether he’s killed people before is yes.