The key to a successful magic trick is the art of distraction. As you can see, the magician in this clip is able to perform sleight-of-hand tricks very close up because his audience’s attention is momentarily drawn away from the cards and by the intense fear that he is going to rape and/or murder them, not necessarily in that order. (Thanks for the tip, Josh.)

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Comments (60)
  1. Okay guys, I’m going to be in meetings for at least another hour, so I might miss Monster’s Ball, but I didn’t want to deprive you all of this little treat I made. Have a great weekend MONSTERS!!! You earned it!!!

  2. I’d wack that pack

  3. It’s good to see that Cousin Larry Appleton is keeping busy.

  4. Less than a minute in, but I just had to point out that what’s saddest so far is that he knows he’s terrible. Listen to how he says “She’s happy now.” His emphasis doesn’t say that she’s happy now that he said that, but that she’s happy now, but will be disappointed later.

  5. So many crotch shots for a pack whacking lesson.

  6. Chriss Angel is still creepier.

  7. the real star of this video?

  8. I reiterate my earlier point: I’m pretty sure the internet is exclusively for porn…

  9. This makes me uncomfortable.

  10. I’ll challenge any of you monsters to a whack off.

  11. Has there ever been a post involving magic that hasn’t also included the tags “creepos” and “yikes”? Like PB & J, it seems.

  12. Didn’t Ted Bundy have a collection of shoes? I think Ted Bundy had a collection of shoes. Guys, I’m worried about this lady’s shoes.

  13. The longer his hand lingered on hers, the more this began to resemble the scene in Inglorious Basterds where everyone had their guns pointed at each others’ crotches below the table.

  14. Is this guy even Alliance certified?

  15. Little known fact: Paul Harris lives in a dumbwaiter.

  16. That pack is wack, Goo

  17. Day 4391: Everyday he keeps us in the basement and everyday he marches us upstairs and makes us play “Wack your pack.” Everyday he makes us all go, even though he keeps picking Patty to play. Everyday he makes Patty give him her shoes. Everyday. Everyday. Everyday.

    Everyday I ask why we picked this house to trick-or-treat at 12 years ago. I miss my mom.

  18. My favorite part was when he said “Wow, what a woman!”

    I thought, “Wow, what a creep!” Amiright?!

    This post is a:

  19. This is in no way an endorsement of this headphones up video

  20. This is even cuter than Salsa Dog.

  21. An excuse to repost my favorite gif? I’ll take it.

  22. The creepy voice. The suggestive hand movements. This is all I could think about.

    “We are the music makers, and the dreamers of dreams.”

  23. ILLUSION, people… A ‘trick’ is something a whore does for money…or candy!

  24. I don’t think it’s fair to call it a “shoe collection” just because his collection of human feet have shoes on them.

  25. so your choices are:

    1) win a creepy magician that you can do anything you want to


    2) lose your shoes.

    barefoot it is!

    though, to be fair, he DID warn that this was a dangerous game.

  26. “By a WOMAN!”

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