“Hello. We’ve gathered you all here today because you are some of the most intelligent minds in your respective fields. We have scientists from all of the major disciplines: space and chemistry and physics and nuclear and brain. All of the best science. The reason we’ve gathered you today is because as you may have read, it is an election year. No, for President. No, of the United States. Well, that’s because it’s not in any of the professional journals, it’s mainstream news. THE IMPORTANT THING is that you are all brilliant, and whether you nerds knew it or not, it is an election year.

What we want from you is simple. Please spend the next few hours harnessing all of your brain power and all of your incredible knowledge on the singular task of inventing the single LEAST EFFECTIVE and MOST INSANE get out the vote campaign you can possibly think of. Bear in mind, this get out the vote campaign should not only result in ZERO NEW VOTERS, but it should also be HARD TO LOOK AT, potentially UPSETTING, and VERY RIDICULOUS. OK, science. You know what to do. Let’s see what you come up with.

Hmmm. Jessica Alba wearing a Hannibal Lecter horror muzzle while her eyes fill up with tears of sheer terror (via NYDN). EUREEKA, I think you have done it.

Bartender, a round of Nobel Prizes.