It’s The Andrew Show! “A show for white kids.” This week’s topic: Marmaduke.


Holy shit. Admittedly, I’m not sure what I was expecting from a website called WHITEPRIDETV.COM. I do kind of love that this kid is super racist but also still very much a kid with kid’s logic. Like, he might have learned his racism from his parents, but they definitely did not help out with his argument about Marmaduke. That’s all his. “The dog park is like how other races say land should be theirs.” Not a thing, Andrew. That’s not one of the things that’s going on right now, you stupid racist*. Other things I love about this:

-How abruptly he rests his case and is already ready to take on NEW subjects. “Marmaduke: CASE CLOSED.”
-The differentiation between white adults and white kids, but the confirmation that both are UNDER ATTACK.
-Everything.

Andrew should get his own show for real! I’m just kidding about that! Go to bed, Andrew. (Thanks for the tip, Michael.)

*It’s not nice to be mean to kids, but it’s not nice for kids to have racist television shows, so let’s call this one a wash.
Comments (134)
  1. I can’t think of a single gif that would be appropriate here.

  2. Alright, so we can be clear that this kid is definitely racist, right? I mean, there are no abstract symbols of racism in the background of an otherwise innocuous video. It’s just a kid saying racist things on a racist internet show. Okay, carry on.

    • I like that they couldn’t put him in front of an actual bookcase and instead had to greenscreen one in. (Insert joke about racists being illiterate morons here)

      • He’s waiting for the day they invent whitescreen technology. Until then, he’s dependent on those dirty, dirty Martians.

      • its not a joke, “squidsquad”

      • I think those are actual books though. I see The Phantom Tollbooth Wants to Redistribute Wealth to Blacks, the Hardy Boys and The Case of the Jewish Conspiracy, Rin-Tin-Protocols of Zion, Where the Wild Things Are: The Ghetto, Ramona Quimby Race Traitor, Tales of a Fourth Reich Nothing, and all 10 illustrated volumes of Mein Kampf Junior (Play and Learn edition).

    • Am I being overly reductive by positing that most racist arguments hinge on child-like logic?

  3. Haha. That racist kid still uses Hotmail.

  4. Well looks like his case is air tight

  5. Finally, a show for white people!

  6. Is this a racist British boy? Or, does he have some sorta speach impediment? Not that either one would make the situation any better. Just saying, I’m confused.

    • I’m pretty sure he’s British and he also has some sort of speech impediment. Also, and I’ll admit this is definitely ignorant (racist?) of me, but it always catches me off guard to see white supremacists from other countries, even though I totally know they exist with equal or surpassing fervor to American racists.

      • He is not British. He just has a speech impediment.

        Oh, and terrible terrible parents who are the worst ever. He also has those.

        • I would submit that he’s South African. Is this starting to make sense to you now? Another piece to the ugly racist puzzle?

        • Well, I guess I’m glad(?) that he’s not British? Are we still the modern epicenter of racist internet television? I think so! USA! USA! USA!

          Also, racist kids are always the saddest. Especially kids whose extra-racist parents make them have their own racist internet television shows.

      • Caught me off guard as well. Probably because we’re already so well versed in the morons of this country, ya know?

    • All British people have a speech impediment.

    • Speaking of British racists, interesting tidbit, the British Nationalist Party (a far-right, anti-immigration party in the UK) hands out pamphlets during election time (sidenote: what is it about extremist parties/groups and their pamphlets? what is this, 1943?), and they always have portraits of super-happy, super-white families in them. The thing they don’t mention, is that the models they get to be in these super-Aryan-looking pictures are actually Americans.

    • I know, that completely threw me off. You start off like “this kid is adorable!” but then he’s just adorably racist.

  7. White people are always having trouble pronouncing their “Rs”.

  8. That was the most concise racist recap of Marmaduke ever.

  9. I think we can all agree that watching Marmaduke will make anybody think and feel things that they’re not necessarily proud of.

  10. I am not going to watch this because I am at work, but this just makes me so sad.

  11. Somehow, it makes me feel better to know that white supremacists, for all their scariness, can’t master simple things like lighting a green screen and basic shot composition.

    Their revolution will clearly not be televised.

  12. When I first saw that this video was presented in the Videogum Player, I thought that it was a video you made in your own apartment as a funny, weird joke with someone’s child. But when I realized that this was an actual, real-life racist kid, my heart fell on the ground. Please tell me this is a funny joke. I don’t want this to be real.

    • I know what you mean…While I was watching the video I assumed that it had to be a joke–I figured there was no way something like this could be sincere. But then I visited the website…

      I wish I could un-know about the existence of this video.

  13. I know who has something to say about this!

  14. So he can afford a green screen but not a fully stocked bookshelf? And why is he talking in front of a bookshelf instead of, say, a burning cross?

  15. somebody should probably alert fantasy records that a creedence song is being used. if they can sue fogarty, surely they’ll have the balls to take down andrew.

    • Please everyone upvote the shit out of this.

    • Strangely enough, I am listening to a CCR song right now….Just thought you should know.

      • True story: a friend of mine in college, whenever he had a paper to write, would do it while listening to CCR’s 12-minute version of “Heard It Through the Grapevine” on repeat. That one song would play for hours. By October his roommate Brian understood; Brian would hear the first notes (doo, doo-doo doo) and say “Got a paper due tomorrow, huh?” while already packing his bag to evacuate. We all love CCR but 2-5 hours of any one song is… erf. Later, unawares, “I wonder what Jay is up to?” someone would say, head for his closed door to see if we could involve him in some mischief, hear the song within (doo, doo-doo, doo) and immediately U-turn. “Oof. He’s busy.”

    • This is just a rip off of the riff from Who’ll Stop the Rain, which actually makes it more offensive.

  16. I feel like we should email him (on his hotmail account, of course) videos on Babe25. I think he’d like that.

  17. This kid totally reads Family Circus everyday.

  18. Don’t miss next week, when The Andrew Show holds a telethon to eradicate white breast cancer!

  19. Haha. Good introduction and conclusion. Not very much meat in the middle there, but you definitely introduced the shit out of your conclusion. Marmapuke.

  20. Oh thank god, television for white people. I haven’t watched tv in years because there was nothing made for me. Thanks Andrew.

  21. something something Creedence Clearwater Revival.

  22. That’s the most adowable extwemwist since my dog Atole

  23. I have a weird terrible impulse to e-mail The Andrew Show and request an episode about Mengele. DON’T WORRY; I WILL RESIST THIS WEIRD TERRIBLE IMPULSE.

  24. Counterproof to everything he believes is: white people are the only race stupid enough to give their children a Prince Valiant haircut.

  25. I just keep crossing my fingers, hoping this is a Wonder Showzen sketch.

  26. Andrew don’t interrupt

  27. Andrew, don’t interrupt!

    Callback.

  28. I still wish I was white, you guys invented McDonalds.

  29. “Before I stawt my video I would like to thank White Baby Jesus for providing this wonderful magic scween. “

  30. I’m more offended that he still uses hotmail. AM I RIGHT.

    Right you guys? Hotmail is totally an archaic institution and gmail is totes where it’s at?

    …rimshot.

  31. But he’s not even a good racist.

  32. “What role did black people play in the history of America? I mean no offence, but none. None at all. They were here but they didn’t build the country. They didn’t sign any of the documents of the Declaration of Independence.”

    …………….. the fuck?

  33. I’m as confused about this, as the kid is about his accent.

  34. About a month ago, I learned this guy I was friends with for like a decade is a total white supremacist (apparently, I am the only idiot who didn’t know this about him). What’s weird about it is you always sort of have this idea that if confronted with an extremist you’ll be ready to defend equality, that you will use really persuasive arguments, and tirelessly help them see the light. However, when this all sort of came out (even he was surprised I didn’t figure it out), all I could muster was “but it’s 2010.”

    I went home that night feeling super defeated, confused by how someone I thought was so nice and normal could hold such awful values and how with all my liberal posturing when it was go time I choked. Then, a couple days later it occurred to me, you know what? It is 2010. Seriously, the very idea that we would have to argue for equal rights for people when race has been proven by SCIENCE to be little more than a social construct and well, to put this simply, uh “mitochondrial Eve.” So you know, if they can’t figure out that their ideas are false, ridiculous, and destructive in 2010 I don’t feel I have to waste my time with them.

    As for this kid, it is sad that his parents are teaching him all this crap but there is a generation that is still alive that was taught these same awful values and they have for the most part accepted and integrated. So one day if this kid is smart, he’ll grow up and drop this crap. His parents can’t keep him sheltered in a world of virtual green screen books forever.

  35. According to MakeMeBabies.com, if we took this andrew:

    and we combined him with this Andrew:

    we would get this Super Andrew:

    But I think we all know what happens a few years after that:

    http://i53.tinypic.com/3476xae.png

  36. YEH! For the Creedence! Maybe it’s weird but I always thought of CCR as a racist band.

  37. why are we not totally overloading that hotmail inbox with hilarious e-letters? This should be a Videogum Everywhere mission

  38. Thanks for the Spoiler Alert re: Marmaduke, Andrew!

  39. Shouldn’t this be a new Videogum Everywhere mission? Emailing topics for The Andrew Show to talk about?

  40. love the graphics at the end. nice touch with the sailboats. SUUUUUper white.

  41. Yikes. This is totally out of mein kampfort zone

  42. Save the white race!

    Chill OUT on the beach DUUUUUDERS!

  43. “THEY STINK.” (this kid talking about black people)

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