If there is any problem with this crime it is that it is TOO perfect:

BOTTLES (of bath tub caulk) AND MODELS, Y’ALL!

Yikes. Needless to say, that is your girlfriend, performing your surgical procedure on your body. Here’s some details from the accompanying article:

According to court documents, Cruz-Dilworth told the women that she was a trained professional and that she would inject them with a substance the 28-year-old called “hydro-gel,” which is supposed to enhance the buttock. Instead, the New Brunswick resident injected her clients with a silicone sealant, the very same material used to caulk bathtubs. The injection sites were also sealed with Krazy Glue. [Ed. note: emphasis mine because GOOD GOD.]

What is the emoticon for a face that is crying and barfing and laughing at the same time?

I like this part, though:

According to investigators, Cruz-Dilworth would charge her clients a discounted rate of $ 650 to $ 1,200 for a procedure that would normally range from $ 10,000 to $ 15,000. The plus-sized model would usually travel to a client’s home, but sometimes they would come to her apartment, located in a gated community, to receive the services.

Haha. “The plus-sized model.” GOT HER. (I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with plus-sized models. I AM saying that they take a long enough time to include this fact in the article that it seems pretty readable as a zing. Also: she is a horrible criminal so fuck her. They should call her a yuck-sized model. They should call her FAT.)

Anyway:

Dear ladies,

Please be even just a little bit more careful out there.

Thanks,
Dr. Duh.

(Via ATLnightspots.com. Thanks for the tip, @malgs.)

Comments (88)
  1. My ass hurts from just reading this article.

  2. I am really hoping we can go without making the obvious puns here.

  3. This guy is next.

  4. I always get my medical treatments done by random people I meet at salons

  5. My first Videogum article of the morning reminds me that the best part of waking up is bathtub caulking in your butt.

  6. I didn’t realize that they’d already begun filming Bridalplasty.

  7. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  8. Your move, E! Network.

  9. ))((

    (those are caulking guns, obviously)

  10. You think her clients would have been a little suspicious after she loaded her bathtub caulk in her caulk gun that she took out of her boyfriend’s tool box.

  11. Whoops, that’s my [next-to-] hometown!

  12. you guys think they’ll work this little number in to human centipede 2?

  13. I was with you up until the extra 5 or 6 slow pan butt shots thrown in at the end. Have some class, youtube uploader!

  14. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  15. So her endorsement with Great Stuff is over now, right?

  16. This reminds me of this:

    (sorry)

  17. Tight asses.

  18. Little in the middle but she got (illegal) back.

  19. So injecting bathtub caulk into someone’s butt is “practicing medicine without a license?” Really? Like if you actually had a license, injecting bathtub caulk into someone’s butt would just be practicing medicine?

    “Jesus GOD that hurts! You told me this procedure would be quick and painless! What the fuck are you doing back there?”
    “Just trust me; I’m practicing medicine.”

  20. Never trust a big butt and a smile (and a caulk gun)- Bell, Biv, DeVoe

  21. Other Cruz-Dilworth procedures: Asbestos breast implants.

  22. I bet those ladies wish they had a Caulk Tub Time Machine.

  23. New Buttswick needed a new nickname.

  24. This is Krazy.

    Glue.

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