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The internet finally has a trailer for Proud American, this really weird movie sponsored by Coca Cola and Wal Mart (for real) that opened in theaters and IMAX on September 12. It’s a drama that tells four American stories about “opportunity, freedom, and personal responsibility” and the reason it has those corporate sponsors is because it was commissioned by those companies as a two-hour commercial for corporate deregulation. Seriously. And Yakov Smirnoff is in it. Hey, kids, who wants to see a movie about responsibility?:
When I told Gabe about this trailer he got very excited because his favorite person ever, Tom Scharpling of The Best Show On WFMU, did a whole rant about this movie a few weeks ago on his show, and it’s really funny:
I’ve been trying to imagine the type of people who would go to see Proud American, and all I can come up with is “People at a museum who want to see an IMAX movie and don’t know what Proud American is, but T-Rex: Back To The Cretaceous doesn’t start for another hour and honey the kids are driving me crazy, please.” and “Ned, Rod, and Todd Flanders.”
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First, isn’t that theme music the same music used from the movie “The Rock,” and I’m sure countless other movies that demand “serious” music? Second, Tom Scharpling is possibly the most awesome person alive. In the world.
In Soviet Russia, corporation deregulates you!
Also, when are we going to talk about the elephant in the room? The elephant named the guy who played Mr. Belding. He’s gotten too big to fail. Congress needs to bail him out. Or he will eat us.
Holy crap. This movie is more patriotic than getting double blown by a bald eagle and the Statue of Liberty at the same time.
This came into the movie theater I work at on September 12th.
It sold a total of two tickets in the week it was there.
It was the only movie I’ve ever seen that only lasted 1 week in theaters. I think it holds the record on BoxOfficeMojo for “lowest wide opening ever”.
This movie let’s terrorists win.
you guys. 1:32. Principal Belding. If you’ve seen his appearance in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, you’ll recognize him.
I swear to god!
If you don’t like this movie, you are a terrorist!