oprah_favorite_things

At this point, it’s kind of a worn-out construction to say that you wish that you cared half as much about something in your life as someone in a YouTube video who cares too much. For one thing, it’s a lie. It aims to paint whoever says it as a miserable husk of a human being while the truth of the matter is that miserable husks of human beings don’t TALK ABOUT IT VERY MUCH. They mostly sit silently on a cat-hair-covered easy chair that smells like underwear and drink alcohol from a novelty glass in the shape of a boot from a revolving restaurant on top of a skyscraper that they ate at on a vacation they took to Dallas 20 years ago. But it is true that there is something ineffable and jealous-making about people expressing unbridled joy. We are all so clever and cool headed, we know that showing emotion is for NERDS. Cool kids are like “I would smile but then the cigarette that is dangling in the corner of my mouth would fall into the coffee that I take black.” But it’s not so much that I’m jealous of the people in this video (an amazing five-minute montage of all the audience reactions at Oprah’s 2010 “Favorite Things” episode) for having the ability to access an enthusiasm that I haven’t experienced in years or maybe ever. I’m jealous of the people in this video FOR GETTING TO GO TO OPRAH’S “FAVORITE THINGS” EPISODE. Are you kidding? That shit is bananas. MY HEAD WOULD FUCKING FALL OFF IF ONLY.

Haha. Man. They’re right, you know. Insane batshit lunatic maniacs who need medicine probably and a brain rag to sop up their melted brains, but correct. (Via InternetToday.)

Comments (128)
  1. Hey, you monsters with gif-making skills: go to work.

  2. I was going to post a gif of the exploding head from Scanners, but its pretty gross.

  3. I was at a gay bar on Friday and was met with absolute shock and disbelief when I revealed that I hadn’t watched this episode.

  4. What does it say about me that I find this truly frightening?

  5. You know, I had these exact same reactions upon finding out that the first season of She-Ra is streaming on netflix.

  6. People weren’t this excited when they got a FREE CAR!

  7. Is the concept of Oprah’s Favorite Things that everything she shows the audience gets for free?

    • Pretty obvious question, I know. I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what it’s about. But I don’t have 100% confirmation, and it seems a likely reason for the audience to go buttfucking crazy.

    • Yeah, they get everything for free and the lot ends up being worth a ton of money and some of the stuff is not yet available for purchase in a regular store. I bet you could go on the show and then sell all of the “favorite things” on e-bay and make a nice wad of cash.

    • On one hand, watching a bunch of fairly well-off (I’m assuming if you can afford Oprah tickets then you’re probably doing okay) middle-aged people get thousands of dollars of free stuff that they don’t really need kind of puts a bad taste in my mouth. On the other hand, I’d also be flipping shit if I got thousands of dollars of free stuff that I don’t really need (and got to see Oprah!!!!!!!!!), so I guess it all works out.

      • FYI – You can’t buy Oprah tickets. They get passed out through a random lottery and standby lines.

      • Do Oprah tickets actually cost money? That would strike me as kind of weird, considering that tickets to stuff like Colbert and Daily Show are free. Different organizations and everything, I know. But still!

      • In fact, when Oprah gives things away on her show, she vets the potential audience members to ensure that people who present themselves as particularly deserving recipients fill the seats.

        I can’t verify this (after one unsuccessful Google search), but I remember reading a case in Fed. Income Tax about the episode where she gave away cars. The people in that audience had to pay income tax on the value of the cars because the courts equated their selection for her audience to winning a contest.

  8. I forgot to record it, did raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens make the list again this year?

  9. If you play this video backwards, you get this:

  10. I think at some point we all know how people react on Oprah and these people are just playing into the social construct that Oprah has developed. Each individual always needing to push it further than before.

    I wonder instead of a “Applause” light, Oprah has a “Go F’n Crazy” light.

  11. i am speechless. african kids wouldn’t even react like that if you told them they were getting food and shelter for the rest of their lives.

    but give a middle-aged white woman an oprah-aproved cashmere sweater and an iPad….

    • Perhaps they could use their new iPads to Bing the word “perspective”.

    • I was thinking it would be funny to change the video captions from things like “sneakers,” “earrings,” and “TVs,” to things like “Oxfam” and “National Alliance to End Homelessness.” But no, that probably wouldn’t be very funny…

      • It’s a bit on the nose, but it would be pretty great if it went viral and got back to Oprah. Thanks for the orgy of consumerism! Any idea if she’s buying everyone an angel or some charitable shit with this episode?

  12. I guess I understand, but I think that kind of excitement should be reserved for making Monsters’ Ball.

  13. EVERYBODY’S GETTING HUMPBACK WHAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLESSSSSS!

    YOU GET A HUMPBACK WHALE! AND YOU GET A HUMPBACK WHALE!

  14. Very different from the footage of monsters’ reactions to Oprah’s favorite things:

  15. Not to steal your thunder, Oprah, but Channel 9 News has an update on that car thief in a tree.

  16. At 2:40… “Plus, hear how a thief ended up in a tree, after he stole a car with a baby inside, after Oprah.” …?

  17. I would just like to thank the audience for providing us with so many amazing new gifs. Very thoughtful of them.

  18. Did anyone else think that Macaroni Cheese looked kind of shitty? I mean it wasn’t the worst, but if that’s the World’s Best then I’m pretty much giving up on Macaroni Cheese.

    Also,I don’t what that says about me if that’s the main thought I’m left with after this video.

    • There is better macaroni, but cooking it might be challenging. That is a quality that is strictly forbidden by the Oprah doctrine.

  19. True story:

    I have DJ’d a party in that Skyscraper you are talking about.
    Evidence (I know it’s a shitty picture but it’s me standing in the booth and the reflections of Dallas in the glass ball)

  20. Someone please make a gif of the “I love paninis!” girl.

  21. They worship a strange god:

  22. FIND HIM! TOUCH HIM!

  23. This is why the terrorists hate us.

  24. A girl I went to high school with and her mom were in that audience. I’ve been trying to find them in the reactions videos, but the one time they were shown was pretty boring and definitely not gif-worthy.

    I saw them this weekend and apparently Oprah pays all the taxes on everything, so it’s 100% all free.

  25. I have nothing but white hot jealousy for the joy they are all experiencing.

    Joy from free stuff is the best kind of joy.

    Think about it- jumping up and down and screaming with Oprah about free shit? Nothing is better than that.

    • We may be soul mates. I get excited over very unexciting free things (a piece of cake, a comedy show, a cookie at Subway with my $5 foot-long [why are these 66% about food?]). So I’m almost positive I would be a celebrated gif on Videogum if I had been in that audience.

  26. I’m the worst, you guys! I made a kick ass gif of Oprah going “Ho Ho Ho!” but i didn’t upload it to dropbox!

  27. Somewhere in the Middle East, someone will copy this on a VHS and use it to promote hate against the USA.

  28. As long as she is not founding any settlements in Guyana, I think this is probably okay.

  29. True Story: I have only won two free prizes in my life. One was a free trip to the optometrist and the other was a free bean and cheese burrito from Taco Bell after I dropped a quarter in a water bin and it landed on the red dot. However, last week my luck changed. At work, I won a drawing for 4 VIP concert tickets. Yeah!!! “I get to go see any concert of my choice,” I incorrectly said to myself very loudly in my head. Nope, it turns out Laser Lips won 4 tickets and a trip with my CEO and family to a concert of their choice. And guess what “artist” is performing:

    #justventinggum

  30. What you don’t know is that there are sensor in the floor that use these peoples’ jumps to power the city of Chicago. Also, Oprah’s definitely a succubus.

  31. I like how they are getting this excited over sweaters and candles. It’s the little things in life that give you so much joy. OBVIOUSLY!

    • These are totally appropriate reactions… for early American settlers.

      In other news, I believe my annual Thanksgiving Day comedy sketch just wrote itself.

  32. Nobody’s mentioned the vintage SNL sketch on this perennially hilarious topic? (Yes, 2004 is now vintage SNL. Shut up.)

    http://kaycaskey.blogspot.com/2007/11/oprahs-favorite-things-snl-parody.html (blurry and from some 2007 blog post, but the best I can find right now).

    The rare occasion where almost no exaggeration is necessary (not quite Sarah Palin with Katie Couric word for word, but just a notch below). I remember laughing at just the discussion of this sketch at the lunch table in high school (aaaaaand now I feel old. or young? so hard to tell!)

    Oh, and SPOILER ALERT: Tina Fey gnaws on a hickory smoked turkey like a feral wolf person in a rare sketch appearance. The Best!

  33. I wonder how many of these people actually pissed and/or pooped their pants at some point during the show. Judging from their facial expressions I’m estimating about 68%. Hopefully one of Oprah’s favorite things is Wet Wipes.

  34. I voted socialist this year (in the swedish elections, Wuuut? that´s VERY socialist!), just to make you see where I´m coming from when saying that this makes me very sad.

  35. Conan reveals Oprah’s most sinister favorite thing:
    http://gtcha.me/e16S3G

  36. I saw it in the theater shortly after it came out, only vaguely knowing that there was supposed to be a big surprise. I don’t recall it having a big effect on the audience, and if I recall correctly it’s not in the end such an important part of the movie.
    http://no3rush.com

  37. I am an avid Oprah fan, and have been for most of her 25 years. I was SO disappointed in the choice of the car that she is giving the audience from her 2nd Christmas Giveaway. I grew up in what used to be one of the most beautiful cities in the U.S Detroit.
    Weight Gain for Men

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