jigsaw_party

This is not a porno switcheroo (torture porno switcheroo?), but this is still pretty great. From NME:

Families who took their children to see cartoon film Megamind in a Massachusetts cinema earlier this week are angry after Saw 3D was shown by mistake. A Massachusetts branch of movie chain Showcase Cinemas accidentally showed the film to a group of seven-year-old children celebrating a birthday, reports NBC News.

The children were told to cover their eyes as cinema bosses tried to correct their mistake, but it took several minutes to rectify the problem. The children would have seen images of a man with his foot cut off, as well as a woman being killed by a buzz saw.

Ha! GOTCHA, BABIES! IN YOUR STUPID, SUPERTINY FACE! Admittedly, if I was one of those 7-year-olds, I would have shit my shorts. Even as a full grown (some might say too grown) man, I do not have the stomach for horror movies, and I feel very strongly that James Wan should be on some kind of island prison somewhere. It could be any island prison, really, so long as it is an island and a prison. But as an adult who doesn’t ever have to watch any of the Saw movies ever, AND gets to read about children having their megaminds megabroken, this is hilarious. (Also hilarious: referring to someone as a “cinema boss.”)

Actually, though, this is my favorite part:

A similar mistake was made in 2007, when children were shown The Hills Have Eyes 2 instead of The Last Mimzy in a US cinema. The opening scene of The Hills Have Eyes 2 features a chained naked woman giving birth to a deformed baby.

HAHAHAHA. The Last Mimzy Swticheroo! So good. Pretty sure that movie doesn’t even exist, and is just a thing that is very funny to say. Bartender, a round of virgin barftinis for my young friends here!

Comments (102)
  1. A chained naked woman giving birth to a deformed baby? I thought that was the new Twilight movie?

  2. Tyler Durden strikes again.

  3. Wouldn’t the previews be a tip-off that something wasn’t right? Disney-Pixar’s Disfigured Alien Prostitute is going to be great!

    • Seriously. My mom would have never let us sit there that long. We weren’t able to watch “Teen Wolf” because she thought it was too adult.

  4. The Last Mimzy was Rainn Wilson’s defining performance.

  5. Are we sure this wasn’t a parent-planned child-punishment, a la Battle Royale? Because that’s exactly what this sounds like, only it’s watered-down for American audiences.

  6. This reminds me of the time that the Thriller video came on tv and my whole family was gone or in a different room. I couldn’t find the remote and hid behind the couch, occasionally peeking out and eventually running from behind the couch upstairs to my mom, huffing and puffing, “Ah yeah, just got bored downstairs watching music videos, Mom” – 7 year old me

    • One time, I was watching a TV blooper show by myself in the basement – A TV BLOOPER SHOW – and they showed a blooper involving the Incredible Hulk, whose mere presence on screen caused me to scream, cry and run upstairs to my mom in terror. Scarred for life.

      • Yep. I had nightmares after seeing Harry And The Hendersons. So there’s not telling, really, what will fuck a kid up.

        • The only thing I can remember having nightmares about was Unsolved Mysteries. Which I LOVED but caused me to be very scared of being probed by an alien. This fear was only magnified when I accidentally caught several minutes of Fire in the Sky on tv. On tv!

          • That intro, that creepy, creepy intro…still gives me the chills.

          • “Late one evening, a Mississippi man returned to his home to find his wife gone and her car still in the driveway. With no other clues to go on it is safe to assume she was abducted by space creatures from the fourth realm and undoubtedly subjucted to horrifying space-tests” – Robert Stack

        • I got nightmares from Dracula Dead and Loving It with Leslie Neilsen and Bunnicula, suffice to say I don’t get the vampire craze

        • Yeah, I used to be terrified of the Coneheads when I was a child. Every time I saw them on TV, I would calmly get up from the couch and go sit under the kitchen table. Makes perfect sense, if you think about it.

        • i couldn’t be in small spaces (like public restroom stalls!) after seeing Ghost because Whoopi’s character is in a closet screaming and being shot at. in my defense i saw it in the theater and i was five. thanks dad. real nice.

        • I cried myself to sleep when I was little after watching that. I felt so bad for Harry when they told him to leave. Haha.

    • The worst nightmares I had as a child came after watching “Darby O’Gill and the Little People.” The banshee terrified me:

      • Oh man, mans, me too! That movie terrified me for years. I’m sure it still would if I saw it now.

        Right up there with the wheelers from Return to Oz.

        • The Wheelers are the WORST. I had blocked them from my memory until my old roommate reminded me of that movie. Why were 80s kids films terrifying!? I was afraid of this movie, of E.T., and of The Neverending Story. I was too young to have seen these films when they came out, which was almost worse because I felt like they were all on TV all the time. I couldn’t escape!

          For those of you unfamiliar with the Wheelers, I demand you watch this and share in the horror.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM0RFE3QGAU

        • how that was ever deemed a children’s movie i will never understand. i actually bought it a few years ago because i remembered that it was awesome but scary, and i couldn’t possibly still be scared, right? so wrong. the queen with the removable heads? the creepy rocks spying on her? i mean, even the good guys were scary! moose couch? so nice but so weird looking!

          • No that movie will always be The Scariest. I mean they are sending little Dorothy for electroshock therapy! What the WHAT. I’m all for not coddling children but that movie started out in some weird, dark places. The book it’s based on definitely wasn’t so terrifying.

      • Thank you, I just spit up my coffee all over this desk.

      • I loved the banshee. LOVED. I wanted my own banshee. Meanwhile, when I was 5 or 6 there was a horror movie on TV of these melty green people slowly closing in on a stalled cop car, the red lights flashing on their melty faces, and I still remember it as pure terror. Years later, I saw it again — on MST3K. Oy. How did I love your Banshee, Mans, and run in terror from MST fodder?

        First R-rated movie my parents let me see (because they were insane): The Fog, when I was 9. I kept running out of the room pretending I had things I needed to “check on” in other parts of the house.

        They also made me watch Psycho that year. “This is a classic,” they said. “You should watch this.” Basically it was like watching a real life murder. Later they had me watch Terror in the Aisles, which is a compilation of JUST THE SCARIEST PARTS from dozens of movies. (The Car got me worst. THE CAR!)

        • We are the same person. My mom rented “The Fog” for us when we were in middle school. It scared the everliving daylights out of me. She also rented a movie called “The House of Long Shadows” that I couldn’t even finish for screaming.

          • “The House of Long Shadows” — what a creepy, awesome title! How have I never heard of it?

            Excellent: wikipedia describes it as a “horror-parody.”

          • aaah the worst part of The House of Long Shadows was that creepy room with the kids toys… and everything had maggots?! Scarred for life.

      • That stupid-ass movie gave me nightmares forever! And it was a damn Disney film about leprechauns starring Sean Connery for christsake. What were they thinking? I was just remembering that the other day. Weird.

    • Similar story alert!: On a second grade field trip to the Philadelphia Zoo, our charter bus was supposed to be playing Ghost Dad but instead played Ghost. It also took the teachers and chaperoning parents 15+ minutes to notice.

    • it didn’t give me nightmares but, i watched pet sematary as a kid. at first, i couldn’t make it through the opening credits. i blame the children’s choir that sounded so creepy at the time.

      i finally watched the whole thing… jesus christ that zelda character was terrifying!

    • I could never make it past the part in the Dark Crystal where the Skeksis had Kira tied into the essence-extracting device–even to the point that when they showed it to my 6th grade (6TH GRADE!) class, I feigned an emergency restroom break and sat in the hallway until school let out for the day.

      Man, I’ve never told anyone that, it feels good to get it out. #therapygum

  7. These kids need to learn sometime that life is just a string of near death situations where we’re all forced to choose between sawing off our own hand, or being eaten alive by zombies.

  8. Does this mean some 14 year old boys were shown Megamind instead of Saw, since those are the only people who like Saw since Saw is stupid as are teenage boys, sorry teenage boy monsters

  9. I don’t see what the problem is. Don’t kids love 3D?

    • Plus kids love violence, if they could they would just punch each other all the time while farting, wouldn’t we all though

  10. Damn, this article become sheer disappointment for me. The second I saw it was in MA, I was hoping it’d be my old theatre, because that would bring me joy.

  11. Probably the biggest grossing weekend for any Saw film ever.

  12. Aaaaahahahahahaha!

  13. In all fairness, I think Megamind would’ve left deeper, longer lasting emotional scars anyway.

  14. The kids have to learn about Tekwar sooner or later

  15. Saw 3D? More like Saw Some Horrifying Images That Will Leave Me Emotionally Scarred For Life, am I right?

  16. I am amused by the idea that it took “cinema bosses” several minutes to shut down a film projector. Obviously it must have achieved sentience and begun fighting for its own survival, like the supercomputer in Superman III:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuSsSwg9MXs

  17. Okay, kids, I’m sure you’ve discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. So, let’s just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?

  18. Back in my movie theater employee days we always knew to watch things for a few minutes before leaving the projectionist booth. I’m pretty sure the trailers for “Blood & Guts 11″ and “There’s a Creepy Vengeful Ghost in my House” would have been a tip off that the following movie was not going to be Megamind.

    • I am Fandangoing tickets to “There’s A Creepy Vengeful Ghost in my House” right now!

    • right? i blame the idiot parents on this one.

      “The children would have seen images of a man with his foot cut off, as well as a woman being killed by a buzz saw”

      and really? i can’t imagine that all of that happens in the first 30 seconds. parents, take your babies out of the theater!

      • For real! It’s a perfect time to go get an ICEE, right?

      • You just reminded me. I saw Casino in the theater and a dad had brought a 7-year-old girl. So there’s a scene where some lady is topless for 20 seconds. That dad grabbed that kid like a football and sprinted up the aisle — of course the toplessness was over before they got halfway to the exit, and they came back and sat down, and dad muttered a speech to the child about how “What you just saw was wrong.” But, the violence, including the scene where some guy is getting his head squoze in a vice and his eyes pop out (iirc)? No reaction! Pass the popcorn!

        Another time I kissed a girlfriend in public and a mother hurried her 3 kids away from us, telling them “See no evil!”

  19. When I was in college, we would always get offers to go to free advance movie screenings. I went to go see the Lord of War screening, and, well, Lions Gate accidentally sent the theater the Undiscovered, starring Ashlee Simpson. Pretty much the most confusing 15 minutes of my life.

    • One time I was on a plane and was watching “Nikita”. I didn’t understand why they kept switching from English to Spanish until the end of the movie when I realized my hip was moving the audio channel on the arm rest.

      #confusinggum

  20. If I was a kid in that audience, I’d probably avoid movie theaters for the rest of my life. To illustrate: When I was well into my 20s, I went to see “The Blair Witch Project” thinking I was finally over my squeamishness about horror movies. I slept with the hall light on for the next 6 months.

    • I empathize. My girlfriend insisted on seeing Paranormal Activity on Halloween, and being an elderly decrepit monster I figured “eh, no big.” Bedtime has been sometime after sunrise ever since.

      • I still have issues going to bed after seeing that movie. My cat stared at the wall behind and above my bed when I went to go to bed. Months later, I had a nightmare that I thought was real of waking up with a demon hovering above me. It felt so real, I have been traumatized ever since.

  21. I’m sure I’ve told this story before, but when I was in second grade, my father let/made my brother and I watch “Psycho.” After that, when we were bad, he would tell us that Norman’s mother could come get us. He also made me touch a skeleton once.

    What I’m saying is: I don’t see what the big deal is.

    • I am sorry for the grammar error–I tried to stop this from posting, but I was too late. I will go back to my haunted barrow now.

    • My babysitter let me watch The Gate. It is laughably not scary as an adult, but as a child it was terrifying. Of course someone got pulled under a bed by a demon thing, and thus I had to do a flying leap onto my bed for quite awhile.

    • My dad thought it would be great if I saw some of the really cool animation in The Wall. Not the scary parts, of course, just the cool parts like Goodbye, Blue Sky, except for the part with the metal eagle ripping the top off a hill, unleashing a boiling cauldron of blood, which he forgot about. Which is why I never listened to Pink Floyd until I was 20. Thanks dad!

  22. So I’m normally not a commenter ( more of a quiet admirer) but I had to log in to comment on this.

    I was actually at that Last Mimzy screening. In fact, I was interning at the time for a PR firm who represented the movie studios in Philly and my boss sent me to the screening to write a report for the studio on the reactions to the trailers beforehand & the movie itself. We sat through the whole The Hills Have Eyes 2 trailer and part the trailer for that Jim Carey movie The Number 23 before someone at the theater realized what was going on and stopped them. I on the other hand sat quietly as children between the ages of 4-10 watched a mutant baby being birthed and said nothing. I’m not exactly sure why I didn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure that it was because I thought it all was kind of hilarious. The one kid in front of me even cried through the entire Last Mimzy movie because he was still scared from the previews. The theater eventually gave everyone free movie tickets as an apology. Not a bad Saturday afternoon for a college kid. I still end up telling this story to people today because it’s too good not to. Thank you for posting this Videogum. You’ve made my day!

  23. This reminds me of when I was 12 and my mom took my brother and my sister and me to see Titus, the Julie Taymor version. She was probably thinking, “Oh, how nice and educational, an afternoon of Shakespeare for my irritatingly precocious children!” but then there was this:

  24. No one seems to be talking about how mad the people expecting to see Saw 3D were that they had to see Megamind instead. Is that how these things work?

  25. “But as an adult who doesn’t ever have to watch any of the Saw movies ever, AND gets to read about children having their megaminds megabroken, this is hilarious.”
    - Gabe

    Now I really do like the internet version of Gabe (I have not really interacted with the real version of him, but I have to assume he’s equally good) but this sounds like a challenge. Time to put democracy to work and get one/all of the Saw movies on the WMOAT! (I’m too lazy to go back and read the rules to see if there’s a Saw exemption, I’ll assume not.) Let’s turn Gabe into an adult that DOES have to watch the Saw movies.

  26. Hold up. Within the first several minutes a man has his foot cut off and woman is killed by a buzz saw? That’s what’s up. I need to see Saw 3D.

    • Not that i watched the movie but it starts with people being in a trap, there is a lot of yelling, the billy video, more yelling, bystanders taking cell phone pics & when the cops finally show up, 10 minutes later, (spoiler alert!) the girl is cut in half . then there are flashbacks that show the man from the 1st saw. more than enough time to stop the film before it gets gruesome.

  27. I don’t know who in my family decided it was an alright thing to do to show an eight year-old “It,” but that’s what happened. As if clowns aren’t already scary enough to a kid. I wouldn’t even let my family speak the word “clown”; they had to use the code-word “barrel” instead. I’m still not sure why there was enough conversation about clowns to warrant the use of a code-word…

    One day, I’m laying in my bed, reading a book about asteroids, when I hear a tapping at my window. I see a blood-covered knife slowly lower itself into my window well, followed by a clown’s face. I run out of the house crying, and hide in a bush for half an hour.

    Turns out it was my brother playing a prank on me. I accidentally left the asteroid book in the bush and got charged $20 from my school library. I now have a crippling fear of clowns and asteroids.
    I refuse to acknowledge the existence of Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

    And that’s why you don’t show an eight year-old kid “It.”

  28. Yes, Pennywise scared the shit out of all of us, crunchberries, and I was older than you when I saw It. Luckily, I didn’t have an older brother to terrify me more than I was already. I remember I was really young when I saw Cujo, and my mom had the same car that was in the movie, so I used to dream I would be in my mom’s car with Cujo slobbering all over the windows, trying to attack me. Thanks for the memories, Stephen King!

  29. My uncle climbed on a ladder and switched on this little car that had two red front lights on it outside my window after I watched The Mothman Prophecy. yeah- he;s mature.

  30. this is sad and funny in same time !!!
    i downloaded both movies from here : http://moviesdl.tk

  31. The whole return to Oz movie was fucked up. Dorothy got thrown into a mental hospital for electroshock treatments after waking up from her Oz dream and acting all obsessed about it. Seriously. What the hell kind of children’s movie starts on that kind of premise in the first place?

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.