Don’t worry, though, you guys, the headline is ONLY THE BEGINNING. From the SmokingGun:

NOVEMBER 17–Like most Americans, Steven Cowan has been perplexed by Bristol Palin’s curious ability to keep advancing in TV’s “Dancing with the Stars” competition.

However, unlike other viewers, Cowan, 66, allegedly became so enraged by Palin’s success that he actually fired a shotgun round into his television, triggering a 15-hour standoff with Wisconsin cops.

According to a criminal complaint, Cowan’s wife called police Monday evening to report that her husband had blasted the TV and was threatening to kill himself. Cowan, who had been drinking, became angry while watching Palin, 20, perform on the ABC program.

As Palin, pictured at left, was dancing, Cowan “jumped up and swore, saying something to the effect of, ‘The fucking politics.’ Steven was upset that a political figure’s daughter was dancing on this particular show when Steven did not think that she was a good dancer,” the complaint notes. Cowan is pictured in the above mug shot.

VERY. GOOD. NEWS. STORY. And: AMERICAN HERO. Probably the best part of this besides all of it are the details the writer of the article includes. He/she should get a Pulitzer Prize just for the absolute perfect timing of stating Bristol Palin’s age. And another Pulitzer Prize for the casualness with which the writer mentions that Steve Cowan got into a 15 HOUR STAND OFF WITH POLICE because of A REALITY SHOW ABOUT DANCING. Do they give out Pultizer’s for casualness? For their consideration.

Comments (100)
  1. I would not have pegged him as a liberal.

  2. Today, he is Everyone’s Boyfriend.

  3. So, I can post this again, right?

  4. finally the KILL YOUR TV bumper stickers can claim a win. but they have bristol palin to thank? maybe it’s a draw.

  5. I like to imagine that somewhere, in an alternate universe, there is a show called “Firing Guns with the Stars” and there is a man so upset that he dances for 15 hours with the cops.

  6. He then forced all the police to eat their own beards.

  7. I love how defiant he looks in that picture. He clearly has no regrets.

  8. Damn, The Situation has aged a lot since last month.

  9. Happy Trailer & Bristol Palin Day, Monsters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Guns don’t kill TVs. Bristol Palin kills TVs.

  11. Sometimes there’s a situation on TV (Bristol dancing) that causes a situation (your anger) that ends with a situation (shotgun shells) in your situation (television). And then you go to a situation (jail).

  12. Steve Cowan for Dancing With the Stars 12!

  13. The Real Life Ron Swanson?

  14. Bartender, I’ll have what he’s having.

  15. So today is Trailer and Bristol Palin day? Seems like a natural pairing, now that I think about it.

  16. Following a very intense standoff, everything came to a peaceful ending when the policeman trying to talk Mr. Cowan out of the house uttered the words: “please sir, come out and surrender peacefully. We do not want a situation here.” Everyone stopped, looked around a bit and started laughing and hugging. Steve Cowan came out, shook his head, turned his palms up to the air and shrugged.

  17. Why did Gabe use a picture of a young Hal Holbrook?

  18. Wow — Mans is not looking good these days, you guys.

  19. You’re just shooting your gun just to talk shit..” – Willow Palin

  20. “The fucking politics, how do they work?” Or something to that effect.

  21. So he couldn’t find the remote?

    • His wife has been trying for years to get him carted away after a 15-hour standoff with the police. Finally she realized she could make that happen by replacing his remote with a gun. He’s a victim of the ol’ switcheroo!

  22. Huh. I googled “Dancing With the Stars” and the first news item mentions Gabe in the first line.

    http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/11/17/who-got-kicked-off-dancing-with-the-stars-not-bristol-palin/

    Gabe. Keeping the world up-to-date on all things DWTS since 2012.

  23. i’m kind of shocked this didnt happen earlier.

  24. Watching in HD?

  25. It would have been more apropos if the gun he used was a magnum.

  26. If only the writer had mentioned that Cowan kept himself busy on the internet, a site called “Videogum,” during those 15 hours inside his house with not TV.

    Operation Videogum Everywhere: Fail

  27. I’d like to see what his defense team says. I’m guessing it’ll be something like “I mean, come on, Your Honor….have you seen her dancing?”

  28. It is every American’s right to shoot out their own TV in their own house in a drunk blind rage if they choose to. This man’s rights are being infringed upon! Where am I? Russia?

  29. Did he OWN the TV he shot, or was it somebody else’s he borrowed or hadn’t fully paid for yet? Because if he owned the TV, I don’t understand what the problem is. In fact, it’s good for the economy (he has to spend money on another TV… don’t make me have to explain trickle-down economics to you people!)

  30. I think the bigger news story is SCIENTISTS SUCCESSFULLY REVIVE THEODORE ROOSEVELT, IS HORRIFIED BY FUTURE HORRORS.

  31. Gun-loving Sarah probably really appreciates this story POLITICALLY.

  32. do you think gabe and edith sit around their apartment all day with birdie, exchanging links via AIM on the couch next to one another?
    #stalkergum

  33. He’d been drinking? I find that surprising, considering what he was watching and how he reacted.

  34. Since when can’t we shoot our own shit? How else am I going to discipline my toaster? “I SAID LIGHTLY BROWNED!” *Ka-pow*

  35. I’m sorry, but Man does Not Shoot TV Over Bristol Palin Dancing. Man Shoots TV Over Serious Mental Problems And Unhappiness, And Finds That If The Final Straw Happens To Involve A Celebrity, Everyone Will Focus On That Instead Of Asking A Lot Of Difficult Questions About What Might Really Be Behind All Your Rage And Unhappiness. I get the feeling that even his wife is glad that the discussion is now about Dancing With The Stars, instead of, say, a loveless marriage or an anger problem. Sad.

  36. I hope to see a fully populated “the fucking politics” tag in the near future.

  37. Ha ha ha!! this sounds hilarious to me….
    illumibriter

  38. If you can’t stand something, I guess this is a way of getting rid of it lol.
    scholarships for women

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