Really, troopers? Still wondering whether or not she was drunk? How’s the wondering going on that? Probably got all your best men working to crack the case wide open. “I want you to call in Detective Luther.” “But Luther has a violent temper and a history of violence.” “He’s the only one who can win this game of cat and mouse.” Also, congratulations to the Florida’s NBC affiliate for doing the shoe-leather work on this important story and letting this woman talk forfuckingever. That is called journalism. Walter Cronkite is looking down on your whole bureau this morning and wishing he wasn’t dead so that he could shake all of your hands. “My only concern is that we did not let her talk for longer. The people have a right to know!” Oof. (Via TheHighDefiniteD, TheDailyWhat, Dlisted, BuzzFeed, and InternetToday.)

Comments (59)
  1. Fun game for a Tuesday morning. Complete the sentence.

    “Instead of hitting the brake, I hit the ______.”

  2. “Demice Crull is our generation’s Antoine Dogson”
    ~ Corresponding Animalgum.com article

  3. NOOOO!!! American Beauty is SO good! Wait, where am I?

  4. Eesh. Hide yo’ kids indeed.

  5. Hide your kids, Hide your wife
    and hide your husband
    Cuz they’re crashin inta errbody out here

  6. If only there were some sort of test that could be administered to this woman to determine the content of alcohol in her blood, if any… some sort of… breath… test… like a… breathanalyzer?

  7. Mrs. Crull, you most definitely will NOT be performing at the BET awards.

  8. The drunk behind the bus goes “I hit the uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

  9. If I had the skills I would put her face on this:

  10. Gabe, you got the title all wrong. She isn’t so much our generation’s Antoine Dodson as much as she is definitely my girlfriend.

  11. This is not really germane to this post, but my best friend from college called me over the weekend told me to do myself a favor and google “Antoine Dodson.” She MAY have been calling from a Jitterbug.

  12. Who helped her out from off screen? I smell a new Nicholas Sparks plot.

  13. She’s not drunk, she’s just from florida…hard to tell the difference, I know

  14. Total Denise Downer over there.

  15. not the breaks uuuuuuhmmm the gas? I uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh I just uuuuhhhh

  16. The video cuts off too soon! Now we’ll never know- was he about to say, “The driver was arrested,” or “the driver was a reststop hooker?”

  17. That “you’re welcome” was straight up awesome. Good to know they still teach Sarcasm and Bitchyness 101 in journalism school- Edward R. Murrow would be proud.

  18. Instead of hitting the break, I hit the …um….*sigh*……………………………….. (off camera voice) “Beer bong?” “Yes, beer bong. Thank you.”

    • You know that guy spent entire interview minus that one second biting his tongue as hard as he possibly could.

  19. Footage after the crash

  20. “Test this woman for drugs!” – Luther

  21. Someone’s daddy did not teach them good.

  22. is the post where we get to gush about Luther??
    omg you guys, i love Luther so much.
    it’s one of the best shows!
    i’ve been holding off on watching the last episode because i don’t want it to be over, but at the same time, i’m dying to watch that last episode. YOU KNOW!??!?
    Luther Forever Please.

    • nobody? did i miss that post? it’s cool. i was partly trying to deflect some attention from this video about my mom, partly trying to figure out which monsters are huge Luther heads.

  23. An hour and a half and this still hasn’t been Auto Tuned? C’mon, people!

  24. I never got past the first episode of Luther as it was truly awful. It was like Rebus rip off made with everyone involved on a cocaine binge.

  25. They need to test the news anchor for drugs. “None of the children on the bus WAS injured.” Come on Florida NBC you’re better than that. Wait, are you?

    • Ummmmmm are you saying they should test for some kind of crazy new street drugs that causes news anchors to use correct grammar? Because I was actually rather proud of that anchor.

      Apparently NONE [subject: singular] of you kids today KNOWS [verb: also singular] how to talk words good.

      • Blargh, should have proofread: “kind of crazy new street DRUG”, not “drugs”. If I’m gonna be a jerk, I should be one to myself as well.

  26. I… think this… uh… is gonna be tough… her… uh… demeanor… seemed really normal and… definitely that’s how one… would… uh… you know.. uh… say words when.. SPEAK! yeah… when you are uh.. totally… hundred percent… on the ball.. uh… yes.

  27. So maybe I’m alone in this, but when the anchor said “Wesh” I thought he sounded kind of sloshed himself, until I noticed that that is actually the unfortunate name of the station.

  28. Wesh 2 news is my news station. Really.

  29. It’s weird to think that someone with such lightning-quick reflexes could ever be in a car accident!

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