The Boondock Saints is unique to the Hunt. So far we have definitely had a couple of nominees that are renowned for being terrible (Battlefield Earth, I Know Who Killed Me, Hudson Hawk), but this is the first film to enter the competition that was so disastrous in its production and so notoriously panned by critics that there’s actually a documentary about the movie, Overnight, that is arguably as successful as the movie itself. Two friends told me this weekend that they hadn’t seen Boondock Saints, but they had seen the documentary about Boondock Saints. So that basically proves that it’s more successful. I should probably become a Professor of Logic. IN ANY CASE, what do you say about a movie that has been the subject of ridicule since it was made in 1999? What do you say about a movie that is widely recognized as a ridiculous parody of itself? I will tell you. You say let’s keep ridiculing this movie that is a ridiculous parody of itself, you guys, because oh man, this is a hilariously horrible movie!

Basically, the “Boondock Saints” refers to two Irish brothers (although I think sometimes in the movie they’re referred to as cousins?) in Boston who get in a bar fight with a Russian mob guy and then the Russian mob guy comes to kill them but instead they end up killing him, and from that moment on they realize that they are going to be professional vigilante justice killers who exclusively kill bad guys and make the world a better place. Meanwhile, Willem Dafoe is a gay FBI agent who is chasing them, but then eventually he gets drunk and decides that he likes what they are doing. At the end of the movie, an Italian mob boss hires a senior citizen to kill the Boondock Saints, but he hears them praying in a basement and decides instead that he wants to join the Boondock Saints in their quest for vigilante justice, so now there are three Boondock Saints, and then Willem Dafoe lets them into a coutroom with all of their guns and they execute a man in front of everyone to let the world know that they are the Boondock Saints and they are here to kill. Normally my write ups of the Worst Movie plots are kind of silly but this one is actually pretty straight forward. The movie made about as much sense as this paragraph.

There are a lot of things that make this movie terrible, but first and foremost we have to focus on Willem Dafoe. If the terribleness of this movie is a ship, Willem Dafoe is the drunk captain. If the terribleness of this movie is a song, Willem Dafoe is the off-key chorus. If the terribleness of this movie is an OK, you get the point. You guys, look at this:

Cramazing. I’m pretty sure Nicolas Cage watched this every morning before hitting the Wicker Man set and was like “walking in the shadows of giants, Nic, walking in the shadows of giants.” The Netflix sleeve for this movie describes Willem Dafoe’s character as “openly gay,” but that’s not quite accurate. I think “a ridiculous gay stereotype that isn’t even a stereotype but is just weird and not how anyone acts ever anywhere” would be a more appropriate description. Or also “openly huh?”

The writer and director of The Boondock Saints, Troy Duffy, claims that the movie is based on his own experiences in Los Angeles. OK! If I had to guess based on the movie he’d made, I’d think he had a bunch of experiences involving Russian and Italian caricatures with horrible fake accents who couldn’t act their way out of a Xenophobic stereotype.


Een Russia, mob bosses look unrealistic and just straight up wrong YOU!

But apparently what happened is he saw some EMT guys wheeling a dead body out of drug dealer’s apartment, or something, and was like “WE NEED A TERRIBLE MOVIE THAT HAS NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH MY NEIGHBOR’S APARTMENT.” He was like “I HATE EVERYONE’S EYES.”

To be fair, some of the movie’s flaws were simply the magical combination that occurs when you mix high ambitions with low budgets. Things can quickly get out of hand. Suddenly your movie set is all like this. But that still doesn’t explain the general lack of any kind of thoughtful decision making. For example, my favorite part of the whole movie (minus everything about Willem Dafoe) is the part where they scope out a strip club/peep show IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.

Is that a seedy hub for Boston’s criminal underworld, or an Olive Garden? How embarrassing. I just LOLed in my pants.

According to the internet, a sequel, Boondock Saints: All Saint’s Day, may or may not have gone into production this past August. Supposedly it will have twice the budget, and none of the Willem Dafoe. Poor Troy Duffy. He’s like a pre-internet YouTube star who doesn’t realize that people laughing at you is not the same as people laughing with you, especially when people aren’t exactly laughing. It’s more like pointing. And shaking their heads. And saying “no.”

Next week: Driven. As always, please leave your suggestions in the comments or in an email. And if you haven’t done so already, please consult the Official Rules.

Comments (208)
  1. qwe  |   Posted on Aug 14th, 2009 -2

    you have no idea what you are talking about…its quite funny. If this movie is soo bad how come, 90% of the people that watch it, think that its great? I think you just enjoy living a cynical life, it must be lonely.

  2. Hihotimmyo99  |   Posted on Aug 24th, 2009 0

    what the fuck are you kidding me some guy heard them praying and liked it so he joined them, no you fucking dumbasses that guy is there dad thats how he knows it too, he was sent out to kill the saints, but there dad used to do the same thing kill the bad guys, but if you are too dumb to even understand that simple part I couldnt excpet you to understand the whole movie you fucking idiot, but really if you are going to rip apart some movie make sure you got eveything right first then you can start picking it apart

  3. Are you kidding? “The Boondocks Saints” is one of the best movies i’ve ever seen! I don’t know one person who saw that movie and DIDN’T like it. if i’m the only one here who like it, then kudos to me.

  4. Cakemountain  |   Posted on Sep 7th, 2009 -6

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  5. Shaz  |   Posted on Sep 10th, 2009 0

    Transformers 2 is the best film since Boondock’s Saints. And they both have a Cunt Following.

  6. chris  |   Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 -8

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  7. AEQUITAS VERITAS  |   Posted on Sep 30th, 2009 +1

    On the overview the author said that “an Italian mob boss hires a senior citizen to kill the Boondock Saints, but he hears them praying in a basement and decides instead that he wants to join the Boondock Saints in their quest for vigilante justice, so now there are three Boondock Saints,” that “senior citizen” was their father and he was the original Boondock Saint. Don’t cap on the movie when you don’t even know what your talking about.

  8. Bj  |   Posted on Oct 12th, 2009 -2

    well, where do i start….. Boondocks Saints is a good movie and i look forward to the sequal coming up next year!!! if your hunting for the worst movie ever i have it hands down….. Powder can’t tell you too much about it cuz i only saw it once that’s all it took. Boondocks rules BJ OUT!!!!

  9. behoemoth  |   Posted on Oct 24th, 2009 -1

    Aside from a one time viewing of this film, the only other reference point I have is that a coworker of mine thinks it is the greatest movie ever, and recommends it to anyone she can. What is the 2nd thing she recommends? JEFF DUNHAM.

    But seriously, this movie is not something to get all riled up about when you are trying to defend it, and the comparison to the Godfather is priceless. I’m not sure what the deal is with the personal identification with this movie, though if someone tried to say the same thing about Hard Ticket to Hawaii, i guess i might get abrasive as well :)

  10. FUCK YOU ALL! THE BOONDOCK SAINTS IS THE BEST OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER! WHO WROTE THAT THE BOONDOCK SAINTS IS THE WORST MOVIE IS FULL LOSER, IDIOT…

  11. First off fuck all of u who hate this movie you must not have been watching the same movie i watched and u dont know shit of movies or what the defenition of a great movie is cause The Boondock Saints is one of the best movies in the world any way its a great movie bloggers dont know shit but every body is a critic so go fuck your mom to those who dont like the Saints and ps robert duvall being a gay fbi agent is the funniest thing ive ever seen hes gay but he acts like a man and not a pussy

  12. holy shiz these comments are hilar! i know it’s been like a year since any were posted but dang – lolz.

  13. To each his own. But, I loved both Boondock Saints movies. But whatever I guess me, my aunt ,my parents, and all my friends have crappy taste in movies.

  14. your a fucking idiot. most of the info you have stated is wrong. they are brothers, not cousins. and the FBI agent gets drunk and has an epiphany. which is different than what you said. and the senior citizen is their father. not just a random old guy. he wanted his sons to work by his side. and your being so fired up that the FBI agent is gay that i think your a homophobic. like really, does it matter that much. i personally thought William Dafoe was hilarious. and honestly, did you ever think for a fucking second that its really not that big of a deal. if you don’t like a movie, then you know what you do…you don’t watch the fucking movie. instead you decide to take someone’s hard work, and tear it to shreds. and who said that you have any reason to critic this movie, or any movie. why don’t you get off your ass and get a life.

  15. admitedly some of the gay stuff with defoe was kinda weird but didnt make the movie suck, it was a good movie but all you seem to be concerned with is the gay stuff not all the kickass parts

  16. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  17. Just for the record, the movie has bad picture quality because Duffy couldn’t find any companies to take on such a bold movie idea, and he made the movie from his own budget. The actors were practically paid in peanuts. Even so, in my personal opinion (for whatever that’s worth), this movie turned out amazing.
    Chances are, people are on this page because they either agree with you, or find your ‘review’ as ridiculous and poorly written as I do. If you didn’t like this movie, then eh. To each his own. Even so, proclaiming it as one of the worst movies of all time? Doncha think that’s a little extreme?
    As I’ve already staed, I find this review absurd. Not just because I happen to be in love with this movie, but simply in the way it was written. As many people have already stated, it sounds like you didn’t even pay attention to the movie (assuming you bothered to take the time to watch it at all).
    Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m wasting my time writting this. Hating a movie is one thing, but if your ‘review’ sounds like it was written by a stubborn 5th grader who has already decided he hates something before he’s even tried to understand it, then you have no buisiness writing reviews at all.

    Intellectual argument concluded, I just have to add that I think you’re a moron, and you are in desperate need of a frontal lobotomy and a writing class.

  18. Also, I find it highly amusing that someone went down the line and “Thumbs Down”ed everyone who said they liked the movie…(possilby the owner of the page? Probably.) That’s a GREAT IDEA! Let’s dislike everyone who disagree’s with your (poorly written) opinion.

  19. Ah dont listen to this fuck! Best movie ever.

  20. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  21. This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Horrible plot if you can even call it that. Dumb shallow characters and dialogue. Try watching “Snatch” or “Pulp Fiction” if you want to see how its done.

  22. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  23. All in all, it is the greatest movie ever. Don’t try to deny that.

  24. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • To be fair, Gabe is a replicant and has admitted that he has difficulty connecting with movies with feelings. Also, if Gabe didn’t play with his dick and watch movies all day, this wouldn’t be a very good website, would it?

  25. I lik teh Boondok Santes. Its good movee. I also lik Eet Prey Luv and Cuntry Srong. All this movies R gud. Plz give me job at ur blogs.

  26. NEVER SAY NEVER WAS ROBBED AT THE OSCARS.

  27. I would like to take this opportunity to promote one of my favorite things: Superego. An improvised and then edited comedy podcast. It is AMAZING!
    http://www.gosuperego.com

  28. Oops I don’t have a right to my opinion. I guess I need to go back to Russia :-(

  29. Honestly this is my favorite movie of all time and I’m sorry but whoever wrote this u r an idiot if u don’t understand the plot to this movie. I mean I understand if u just don’t like it but at least TRY to understand what is happening in the movie and what it is about exactly, but don’t just make assumptions on what the movie is about without fully understanding the plot. I mean come on what kind of a movie reviewer r u if u can’t even understand the plot? That and I have only ever met ONE person who has hated this movie and the only reason he hated it was because Willem Dafoe was gay and it freaked him out a bit.

  30. Lol there’s a reason that this movie is great and everyone knows and loves it, and there is also a reason that no ones ever heard of you.

    Watch and understand the movie before you attempt to put the entire movie into one paragraph. If I were to take any beloved movie, which in this case we will use Wizard of Oz, and sum it up in one biased paragraph it would sound like this.

    So this bitch falls asleep and thinks a tornado picked her up and threw her into a distant land where she landed on some witch and then she takes her shoes. Then shes told if she wants to get home she has to go find a big ass giant green city. So a bunch of midgets tell her to follow this yellow spinny fucking road, so she follows it. Along the way she finds a scarecrow who wants a brain, a iron man who wants a heart and a lion who wants courage so they all decide wtf and get together and try to find this green city. They end up finding the city eventually and there is no wizard like promised, just some dumbass behind a curtain. He lies his way out of getting the shit beat out of him and shes told that she can go home by clicking her heels together, which the dumb bitch in the beginning of the movie could of told her.

    See what I did there? You can make anything sound terrible by your poor comprehension, my take is that this movie and most things in general are just over your head. I bet Letters from Iwo Jima is a real head scratcher, too much dialog and emotion, not enough shiny pictures and explosions.

    This movie is well known and pretty well written for what they had to work with. It may not be the best movie to some people but to ignorant people like you, its pretty god damn hard to understand. My suggestion to you? I would say go watch a Michael Bay movie, there is enough exploitation in the movies and terrible writing to keep you busy writing your blog that no one has heard of or even gives a shit about.

    Cheers.

    • Also I see a few comments pointing out what I noticed as well. Couple of MODS prolly didn’t like what every single person on this page had to say and thumbs downed every comment that had anything positive to say about this movie. This website is even more pathetic it’s hilarious. I look forward to watching you drown even more in your own BS.

    • Your description of The Wizard of Oz sounds better than Boondock Saints. #FYI

  31. you’re a complete fucking idiot you r entitled to ur own opinion but its wrong thats just my opinion and the boondock fan base is extremely loyal and ur just dumb to post something like this when u obviously dont have a damn clue what ur talking about this might have not been an extremely high budge movie but it is still one of the best fucking movie around and u dont have any fucking taste and Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery are the most bad-ass people i can think of so just stop bloggin about shit u dont know!!!

  32. Just think about how sad Boondock Saints would be if it didn’t have so many loyal lovers of cinema to defend it, in such colorful language, no less.

    Heartbreaking.

  33. Did you actually watch the movie? If so then you should probably watch it again, seeing as the percentage of the movie that you misunderstood ranges from 80-90%…

  34. i made an account just so i could post that who ever made this whole post obviously would vote for Palin. the idea that u can just look at everything in this movie at face value is ludicrous. first comment i would like to address is the whole homophobic thing u got going. when the sleeve said openly gay, that means he’s not in the closet. it doesn’t speak to his character at all simply that he is no longer in the closet. then ur synopsis of the movie, you didn’t recognize that il duce was their father because the prayer he knew was a “family prayer”. the reason why dafoe is drunk is because he’s troubled by the choice he has to make , he doesn’t get drunk and then decide , hes drunk because he’s not happy that he’s going to make the choice. there’s some more irony in the movie where they are very meticulous about how they handle the dead body’s but when they kill the people its always very chaotic. more irony in the way dafoe figures the first murder out easily even though there was no planning but the rest of his theory are dead wrong, and the fact that he was dead on the first time allows him to change how the police think in the rest of the movie. now i could really go on for hours about how wrong u are but i fear as though this is falling on deaf ears. so once again. who ever wrote this article would vote for palin.

  35. epic fail. low budget or not, this is an excellent source of entertainment. hot guys (and i like girls), tons of gratuitous violence and humorous irony in that the plans always go awry and end up hilariously working out. granted, the second one was nothing as good as the first but BDS has a giant following and it’s not just those demographics you speak of. you obviously know nothing of looking into the deeper story lines of movies. all of your opinions on are based on the budget, the cinematography, and etc. way to be shallow and pretentious.

  36. listen here nagras i am a gorgeous girl that personally has a thang fo both brothers i can think this is 1 of the best movie’s ive seen n sumtimes i “clean my room” while im watchin those sexy Irish men

  37. You do know that the old guy joined them because he was their dad, right? He realized they were his sons when he heard them saying the family prayer. Plus, Murphy calls him “Da’ ” in one scene.

  38. How about a review of Titanic written in the style of this guy?
    “Basically, a bunch of people get on a big ship which everyone gets really excited about even though it’s just a big ship, and then this guy falls in love with some broad who isn’t even that hot and so he loves her and then he sinks the ship so that they can get closer because he’s an idiot and then he dies for her and she’s magically an old lady in the future suddenly.”
    How about the Spiderman series?
    “Basically, there’s this nerd and he’s really depressed so he gets bitten by a radioactive spider so he can die but then he becomes a superhero and kicks people’s asses but he doesn’t want to tell anyone he’s Spiderman because he’s emo and doesn’t have anyone to tell. And then he goes and works as a photographer to get pictures of Spiderman for the newspaper because he’s got a big ego and wants attention as Spiderman, so he does but then he falls in love with some random ginger and she gets him under the thumb completely and his father dies and he’s really depressed again. Overall it’s a really dumb movie because it’s unrealistic and doesn’t explore the characters at all.

  39. You obviously just looked at pictures on the internet and pieced the storyline from that. They’re not staking out the strip club, they’re driving past and Rocco tells them to stop. I’m not going to list everything you screwed up because I have a life to live. I really think you should be doing something you can actually fully understand, or that you’re capable of. Perhaps something that requires an active brain cell or mental stability.

  40. You retarded fuck… You don’t even get the movie… The “senior citizen” or Il Duce, as the people who understood the movie would call him does not choose to join them just because he hears the prayer… he fucking joins them because he realizes that he is their father, you retarded fucktard! It is a fucking great movie!

  41. The Boondock Saints was a fantastic movie, and it’s a damn shame that you simplify it so grossly inaccurate as to take away the key points of the movie and the moral it stresses since the opening.

    It’s two brothers attending a funeral of possibly their mother who was cut down in public and nobody helped her, they just watched as she died, so the priest says we must fear an evil far greater than this and that is the indifference of good men.

    The Saints just do what most of us refuse to. Mob memebers walk, they don’t get justice, so the Saints decided to stop being indifferent kill them.

    Willem Dafoe is conflicted as he knows that the justice system is corrupted by the mob, but he also has to work to stop the Saints because they are breaking the law

    Finally, Il Dulce is Noah McManus, they’re father. He joins them because he walks in and sees they’re saying the family prayer. He is a senior citizen, sure, but he’s also the mob’s most ruthless hitman for +20 years and was hardened further by his time in prison.

    Finally, you mention NOTHING about Rocco, who is the shit.

    I hope this article you wrote cost you your job for being so inaccurate

  42. It’s kind of late but whatever. I really enjoyed The Boondock Saints, I think it’s great and the paragraph explaining the plot is actually silly. Hey: the “senior citizen” joins them for a reason… if you haven’t realize, you should watch it again and you’ll see it’s a good movie. Movies don’t have to have Oscars or win lots of money to be good. And, anyway, everyone has a different opinion and what you like I may hate but I don’t make fun of what you love just because…

  43. This movie is great. It’s actually entertaining to watch unlike whatever shit you watch. These two movies are my favourites.

  44. It’s funny and entertaining. I can’t believe you didn’t understand who the man was it was there dad.

  45. Awesome Movie? What douche bag piece of crap would rank up as a good movie with all you haters? Something with Vin Diesel, or no…I got it…..Jean Claude Van Damme. Give me a break (worst movie of all time, my ass!)

  46. Awesome Movie! What douche bag piece of crap would rank up as a good movie with all you haters? Something with Vin Diesel, or no…I got it…..Jean Claude Van Damme. Give me a break (worst movie of all time, my ass!)

  47. man, did this movie apparently have a following.

  48. Wow, am I late to this particular blog party! Okay, now I personally love The Boondock Saints. It is my go to, feel good movie. That being said, the movie is not perfect as there are continuity errors in several scenes. This was most likely due to a small budget and being unable to do many multiples of takes for scenes. Once again, that being said, your review makes me think that you’ve never really seen the movie, or you simply didn’t pay attention. I can understand the not paying attention part. For all I know, you have ADD.
    Let’s start with the whole brothers thing. I can understand the confusion, as their genetic relationship was really only discussed in a few scenes (in which they were confirmed to be brothers), and was only fully explained in a deleted scene (the brothers are fraternal twins).
    The Russians who started the entire thing were basically assholes who did not like that they were taken down because two comparatively scrawny men. So, they decided to kill the Irish blokes who handed them their own Russian asses because they are the mob and they have a reputation to uphold. The MacManus brothers decided that being dead wasn’t exactly their thing just yet, so they protected each other. The revelation came to them more than likely because their lives have now been affected by the mob, who is apparently littering Boston. Basically, they are Irish Batmen, Boston is their Gotham, and the mobsters are their Arkham villains.
    In regards to the senior citizen Saint, that is their father, which you would have picked up on had you been paying attention. Again, not blaming you for not paying attention. You might have gone to take a leak when Connor said the prayer they were speaking was a family prayer, and then maybe you had to piss again when Il Duce decided not to shoot them when they were saying the prayer over Rocco’s body. But I digress.
    Smecker, I’m assuming, has been steadily getting more and more pissed off at the fact that he cannot legally touch the mobsters, hence his appreciation for what the Saints are doing. Before he gets drunk and goes in to the confessional, he is torn. He said it himself that he is supposed to uphold the law, but can’t. But this two Irish men are upholding the law while breaking it, which confuses him to no end. The drunken confession is a way for him to come to terms that sometimes looking the other way on a few murders is the only way to stop hundreds of others. He’s basically Commissioner Gordon in an FBI jacket who happens to fuck dudes. As for the “openly gay” thing, no one ever said that Netflix got their story summaries right. Smecker seems to be ashamed by the fact that he is gay while also visiting gay bars, fucking dudes, and calling the other gay men derogatory names.
    The peepshow club is not the underground hub for mob activity. It’s a strip club where one mob guy loves to get his jollies, and two other lowlifes happened to be as well. They don’t scope the place in the middle of the day. They sit in front of it, have a conversation (albeit, with the windows down, which always bothered me), drive off, then return later under the cover of darkness.
    Also, when it comes to the Overnight documentary, I have never seen it. That being said, I have heard about it, and I simply want to tell you that editing is an amazing little tool for film makers to have.
    The next time you decide to bash a movie for being terrible, I kindly request that you actually watch the film and attempt to understand it before you write a review. If after you have watched the movie, and understood all that is going on in it, you still end up loathing the film, then by all means, please write a scathing review filled with detailed descriptions of why you hate the movie.
    I would also like to remind you that some critics have praised movies that the general public found the be boring or terrible, and that some critics have shunned movies that were incredible. Movies that withstood the test of time to become classics, cult or otherwise.
    By writing this review with your given reasoning, your lack of detail, and your lack of knowledge about the details and about the movie as a whole, you make yourself look not only like an idiot; you make yourself look like an ass. If you did not like the movie for your own reasons, please say so, but don’t degrade the creator, the crew, or the actors by talking ill about a movie you obviously did not pay attention to. You might want to see a psychiatrist or a therapist about your ADD, and a doctor about your weak bladder. Have a nice day!

  49. Ok, so I’m six years late to this, but I honestly don’t give a fuck. The Boondock Saints is my favorite movie ever. I’ve seen it more times than can possibly be healthy and several of my friends love it too. It combines all of my favorite things; gratuitous violence, Irish accents, and best of all, Norman Reedus, aka sexiest man ever to live. Plus, it has great music. People who can’t sit down and just enjoy this movie are pretentious asshats who like to suck the fun out of life and no one I’d ever want to associate with. Later. I’m gonna go watch Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery fall through a ceiling. Oh, wait. One last thing. They’re twin brothers, not cousins, and the ‘old guy’ is their dad. He didn’t shoot them because he recognized the family prayer. If you’re gonna bag on a movie, you should at least try actually watching it first.

  50. The Boondocks are Incredible and are one of my top 5 favourite movies of all time.

    I shall keep this simple:

    -The Director, Troy Duffy, had to make the entire movie with his own money.
    -The documentary that you state is what you based this movie on is Very well known to be made by one of the directors ex-workers who specially made it to make Mr Duffy look like a Dick and bring down the movie due to his dislike of the man.
    -Over half the facts you put up here are VERY wrong but I shall not state them all and I believe that many have already been stated in earlier comments

    And fuck you. It’s a great movie and you shouldn’t judge it especially if you haven’t seen it.

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