The night before her wedding she was throwing up. It wasn’t entirely clear if the queasiness she felt was from her sudden departure from childhood into the land of adults, or the fact that she didn’t care very much for her fiance. Oh, he was fine, and certainly much better than the one Martina had married, but he drank too much, and he smelled, and although he didn’t hit her, he was rude. Perhaps that was just the best the world had to offer, it certainly seemed that way, but she could still feel sick about it, and she did. In the morning, the thin gray light came in through the window along with the sound of the chickens being slaughtered for the feast–the whole village would be in attendance after all–and suddenly she felt better. It wasn’t happiness or anything, but there was a peaceful understanding. This was her life. You do not have any choice but to live it. She walked downstairs where her mother greeted her with warm bread and a pat on the hand, and did not even ask her to put on her boots to do any errands. Perhaps she would even grown fond of him, she thought as she sipped her morning tea out of a thick, chipped mug.

And later, after everything was done, there was this:

Nine months later she had a BABYYYYYYY! (Thanks for the tip, Paul.)

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Comments (69)
  1. Sounds like they’re dancing to a ton of farts(dubstep).

  2. at first my joke was going to be:

    “the family traded 5 goats and an AK-47 to get the video camera to tape the wedding party”

    and then they started FIRING GUNS!!! so I can only assume the camera is stolen.

  3. I dig your moves Gabe

  4. “Nine months later she had a BABYYYYYYY!”

    shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, that dancing almost go ME pregnant.

  5. It looks like Salem’s live show has improved.

  6. Beats having to do the fucking electric slide with a bunch of relatives you hate.

  7. It’s Friday. Let’s dance.

  8. And my grandma was there for the whole thing, laying down the beats.

  9. Next thing you know these guys will be at an awards show dancing to Single Ladies

  10. Everybody there was strapped, except for the bride. Who was probably the one who needed a gun the most.

    Nevermind, just burn it down. Burn all the guns down.

  11. I kept expecting the bullets to return from the sky and put that giant frowny wedding cake out of its misery.


  13. May I say, though, that those old men can cut a serious rug.

  14. It’s Friday and somebody just got paid a dowry!

  15. Was I the only one who was instantly concerned the moment the man reloaded the gun and stuck it in his pants?

  16. Assholes Uzbekistan!

  17. This was a grand prize winner on Eastern Europe’s Most Normal Home Videos

  18. No wonder pop culture has devolved into one giant octopus ouroboros. In the old days, this would’ve been filler in a Monty Python episode, there’s canned laughter, and Graham Chapman would come out in a military uniform and tell everyone to stop being silly.

    But if you want to make zany madcap things nowadays…I mean…what’s left?

  19. Albania is so HOT right now….

  20. I liked it better when it was called the Superbowl Shuffle.

  21. This is actually a reinterpretation of an American tradition, as that girl’s four fathers are exercising their right to bear arms.

  22. My family has a similar tradition at gatherings. But instead of intricate coordinated dances, we drink scotch and yell a lot about everything. That’s when the guns come out…

  23. Yeah the steps are important. Stay on beat and aim carefully. But most importantly, and listen closely: NEVER stop holding hands.

  24. People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden…

  25. The Dubsteppes

  26. i like the man 2nd from the left the best–he shoots his gun with such vigor and does NOT put the safety back on before shoving it deep into his pants again.

  27. Really it was good to read the article. Excellent.
    Mystic White

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