I think we can all agree that if there is one idea that is both timely AND appropriate, it is a pornographic movie based on Kanye West and Taylor Swift. If anything, it’s TOO SOON for this GREAT IDEA. From ONTD:

The adult video giant confirms to HollywoodLife.com exclusively that an adult film based on Kanye and Taylor’s ongoing war of words might not be far off. “Vivid is definitely considering the situation between Taylor and Kanye for a movie,” reveals Steven Hirsch, founder and co-chairman of Vivid Entertainment. “Of course, our take would be in parody form and could heat up the relationship between the two.”

Haha. Vivid founder and co-chairman Steven Hirsch plays his cards PRETTY CLOSE TO HIS VEST. The movie COULD heat up the relationship between the two. That’s not to say it will. He’s just putting all the options on the table before they make any decisions about whether or not to heat up the relationship between the two. Also, WHAT IS THIS MOVIE? Like, there is a thing that happened between Kanye West and Taylor Swift on stage at an awards show a year ago, but otherwise a movie about their non-existent relationship is just two strangers fucking, right? Make no mistake: some of the best pornos are just two strangers fucking, but that’s sort of my point. What does a parody of Kanye West and Taylor Swift really bring to the table? (FUN FACT: I watch porno while sitting at a table.) Unless I’m reading this all wrong and they’re actually going to hire thousands of extras to fill an elaborately decorated awards show, in which case, fair enough, and please, Vivid Entertainment, continue with your important work. Can’t wait to see whether or not the relationship heats up between those two!

Comments (87)
  1. Does he let her finish?

  2. I think the other available joke is that Kanye will tell Taylor, during sex, that Beyonce is better. At sex. And it will be true in real life as well as in the porno. LIKE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN PORNOS.

  3. I hear Kanye is so mad he’s breaking his macbook fucking air

    • I saw a new Macbook Air commercial last night and that was the first thing to pop into my head and I laughed and laughed and everyone looked at me quizzically. #MLITI

  4. How can Vivid justifiably make a straight porno starring a gay fish?

  5. I’m guessing in the film it won’t take Kanye a year to toast the assholes?

    #sighgum

  6. I wonder if Gabe’s porn table is the same table where he has fun at dinner. (Just kidding, I don’t wonder that. No one wonder that, please.)

  7. Since the light skinned girl is already called for will this film also feature Kelly Rowland?

  8. Something something something Clay Aiken something Susan Boyle something. #nailedit!

  9. This makes perfect sense, since everything else Kanye does is masturbatory.

  10. As long as a moonman is involved, I’m there.

    • Hey (he shouts from the previous post…)! We share a birthday! You’re like my twin I never even knew. Even though we’re a few years apart. And have completely different traits.

      I guess what I’m saying is Happy Birthday!

    • Hey (he shouts from the previous post…)! We share a birthday! You’re like my twin I never even knew. Even though we’re a few years apart. And have completely different traits.

      I guess what I’m saying is Happy Birthday!

      • Videogum was so excited about my post, it decided to display it twice. It’s ok, Vgum, just take it easy, ‘k?

        • Yay scorpio twinsies! We may have more in common than you know…

          Also- Sisqo of “Thong Song” fame shares our birthday, so yeah, I’m super pumped about that.

          • Wow, my birthday just got that much more awesome! To answer your previous question, I’m turning 25, so I’m not either old nor old old. Im hanging onto my youth you bastards, and I’m not letting go. I’ll never be old! Second star to the right, straight on ’til morning!

      • Happy Birthday to both of you guys!

        ))scorpios(( forever.

  11. The sex wasn’t great. Afterwards Kanye made a scene by claiming Swift’s bush hates black people.

  12. If this proves to be a success, expect a sequel where Kanye rants about how Bush hates black people. A SEXY rant!

  13. Is it just me, or is Vgum extra porn-y today?

  14. I wonder if this is his Dark Twisted Fantasy.

  15. oh man a kanye post, can we all talk about his new music video “Runaway” now which apparently the world is split on. i’m on the ‘this video was neatly compacted garbage” camp, what about YOU GUYSSSS?

    • I’m too enthralled with Niki Minaj’s verse on Monster to care about Runaway

    • I kinda liked it. It was completely ridiculous, and when they guy goes, “Your girlfriend, does she know she’s a bird?” I LOL’d for real.

      • that part was the only good line in the entire movie, but mostly because i actually felt like that guy, going “Kanye, do you know your being an asshole right now” and then he replies with pretty much the same answer as the one he gave on that dinner table. The whole thing was really pretty, and Selita Ebanks manages to pull of being a hot bird really well, but ultimately what the fuck was that. What was he trying to say that we all already didn’t know. i dont know why i feel so strongly against it, generally most of what kanye throws at the world, regardless of his massive ego but this felt like i was being told to open my eyes really wide only to see Kanye fart into them.

    • I liked it, even though Kanye is a terrible actor. I thought it was interesting at least.

  16. I hope this craze catches on and we get a porno based on the heating up of an even more relevant feud, Eminem and Elton John.

  17. My god I need to masturbate now.

  18. No one man should have all that Taylor.

  19. If they somehow incorporate Lady Gaga’s meat dress into this, they be extra timely and extra barfy

  20. they could make this even timelier by just doing ms south carolina vs afroninja or something. They wouldn’t have to recast it this way

  21. It could be way worse. Kanye and Bush porno? 2012 here I come!

  22. Later, these two show up and make it an orgy:

    • You meant to post this picture, didn’t you?

      Man, that was a great thread.

      • Oh, the memories. And yes, I think you are correct in saying that I meant to post that picture.

        However, in the grand tradition of pornos changing details to suit their whims, Sad Keanu will not be eating a cupcake; instead he will be eating a muffin, amirite?

  23. FINALLY, the internet will get around to giving us the black man-on-blond girl pornography we are so severely lacking!

  24. I like how we’re all making fun of this like we aren’t going to go out of our way to watch it as soon as we can.

  25. You know, usually the porn industry is on top of this sort of thing. Between the time Sarah Palin was announced as VP in 2008 and the 2008 elections (approximately two months?), a porn studio thought of, casted, shot, and released ‘Who’s Nalin’ Palin.’ A rare miss, Vivid.

  26. It’s better than the sequel, “Who’s Riddin’ Biden”.

  27. If there’s one thing porn actors are good at, it’s parody.

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