gabe: who do you think is going to win the debate?
lindsay: I believe that John McCain is going to win the debate.
gabe: no way
gabe: david schwimmer
gabe: in comedy that’s called a call back
lindsay: dammit
gabe: it’s when you bring a joke back that the audience might have forgotten
lindsay: Always the straight man, never the bride.
lindsay: (you’re the “bride”)
gabe: i think that CNN is going to win the debate
gabe: did you watch the debates in 2004?
lindsay: I think the american people are going to win the debate.
lindsay: I can’t remember.
lindsay: I literally can’t remember.
gabe: because of drugs?
gabe: because of drug abuse?
lindsay: No! Because of it was boring!

gabe: no, it was not
gabe: that is one thing it was not
lindsay: I didn’t really have a dog in that hunt
gabe: wow, really?
gabe: wait, all joking aside
gabe: you didn’t care if george bush was reelected?
lindsay: I mean, I didn’t love my dog the way I love my dog this time
gabe: what you are saying is that you love george bush
gabe: seriously, what you are saying is insane to me
gabe: like, if i went to a hospital and talked to soemone there
gabe: it would be like this
lindsay: I guess I didn’t think he could be reelected
lindsay: I’m sure I watched it!
lindsay: but both those guys were boring
gabe: haha, you did not watch it and you are the reason we are at war in iraq!
gabe: wow
gabe: that is really untrue
gabe: this is really interesting
lindsay: we went to war in Iraq a year and a half before the 2004 debates.
gabe: this is like walking in on someone using the bathroom
gabe: except instead of using the bathroom you’re saying insane things
lindsay: Ew
lindsay: I’m calling HR
lindsay: (ringing…)
lindsay: Ok, they said you’re fired.
gabe: i am happy to be fired
gabe: if it means not having to work with someone who didn’t think it mattered that george bush was running for reelection
lindsay: I am SURE I watched the debates
gabe: and found that to be boring
gabe: no, you didn’t, because the debates were insane and you would remember
gabe: that is why i was asking
lindsay: I just wasn’t as excited about them as I am this time
lindsay: because NOBODY WAS
lindsay: except maybe John Kerry.
gabe: the debates in 2004 were astonishing
gabe: like, it actually seemed that george bush might be retarded
gabe: he was petulant and mean and retarded
gabe: and he was the president of hte united states
gabe: and the whole fiasco with him having something attached to his back under his suit?

gabe: it was an exciting, scary time
gabe: and you were so high on illegal drugs
gabe: that you didn’t even care
lindsay: Oh yeah!!!!!!!
lindsay: I totally remember now
lindsay: he had something attached to his back.
lindsay: That is so true.
lindsay: Dude
lindsay: That was messed
gabe: seriously, though
gabe: you saying that you did not have a hunt
gabe: in the george bush reelection campaign
gabe: of 2004
gabe: is going to be, like, the only thing i remember about you
gabe: when we stop talking
gabe: as soon as this IM is over
lindsay: No, I’m saying that my dog in that hunt was not a good speaker to the people and went waterskiing too much and was dull.
gabe: surfing
gabe: watersurfing
lindsay: surfing
lindsay: windsurfing
gabe: haha
gabe: no, watersurfing
lindsay: we were both wrong
gabe: we are so stupid
gabe: but at least i’m stupid and MAKING AN EFFORT
lindsay: We should make a drinking game
lindsay: Every time someone accidentally says “fuck”, take a drink
gabe: lindsay
gabe: some of us actually want to take a drink
gabe: at least sometimes
gabe: your drinking game is already the worst one
gabe: everyone will be so sober
gabe: these are professional men
gabe: every time john mccain looks like his head is made from a wadded up piece of bread

gabe: take a drink
lindsay: Well, I figured since you gave me shit for not remembering the last debate
gabe: every time barack obama gives that exasperated look, like john mccain needs to go to his room for a time out, which is probably the single most damaging thing for him among white working class voters
gabe: take a drink
gabe: the joke there
gabe: is that that’s not the most damaging thing
gabe: for him
gabe: among white wokring class voters
gabe: his being black is
gabe: i should probably take over for Meet The Press
gabe: i’m killing it with my searing observations
lindsay: take a drink every time John McCain’s left eye droops.
lindsay: That is a real one.
gabe: that is a sad one
lindsay: He won’t release his health records.
lindsay: That is a real issue.
gabe: well
gabe: would you release your health records
gabe: if you were running for president
gabe: and there was evidence
gabe: that you were 547 years old?
gabe: his real name is John McLeStat
lindsay: I would if that evidence was my face.
gabe: he is the only vampire who does not look like a 32 year old 2Xist model

lindsay: Has anyone at MTV asked McCain and Obama the boxers vs briefs question yet?
gabe: hahahhaha
lindsay: Or do we care more about how the world is ending?
gabe: the boxers or briefs or diapers quesiton
lindsay: omg
lindsay: totally
lindsay: Remember when that was a big question?
gabe: yes
gabe: i remember
gabe: i have a feeling that if it actually happened
gabe: boxers or briefs or diapers would be an even bigger question
gabe: now that there are blogs
lindsay: I think they have diaper-briefs
gabe: haha
gabe: ew
gabe: diaper briefs is the grossest thing
lindsay: but diaper-boxers seem like a design fail
gabe: diaper boxers are also the grossest thing
gabe: oh wait
gabe: i figured it out
gabe: diapers are the grossest thing

gabe: wait, why do you think john mccain is going to win the debate?
gabe: because he’s your boyfriend?
lindsay: because I can only type that sentence and not the opposite sentence
lindsay: for I am superstitious, you see
gabe: it would be really funny
gabe: if God
gabe: decided to punish America
gabe: by having John McCain win the election
gabe: because of some bullshit thing
gabe: lindsay robertson
gabe: typed in an IM converstion
gabe: seriosuly
gabe: i would give it up to God on that one
gabe: you got us, God
gabe: thanks a lot, Lindsay
gabe: although it would even funnier
gabe: if God decided to punish you
gabe: by making Sarah Palin your mom
lindsay: Gabe
lindsay: Sarah Palin is my grandma
lindsay: so it’s kind of a difficult thing
gabe: i get it
gabe: because of all the teenage pregnacy in your family?
gabe: is that the joke?
gabe: is that the joke you’re making?
lindsay: there is no teenage pregnancy in my family
lindsay: Sarah Palin in a bathing suit today will win the debates tonight
gabe: ugh.
gabe: depending on how the debate goes tonight
gabe: this could turn into a really long
gabe: really sad drinking game
gabe: for all of us

Comments (3)
  1. hank  |   Posted on Sep 26th, 2008 +1

    those “he’s your boyfriend” jokes are getting funnier and funnier. keep it up you guys are killin’ it.

  2. Katie  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2008 +2


    But Gabe=too condescending sometimes.

  3. I actually did hold a drinking game for the debate, and the rules were that you drink every time one candidate lol’s at what the other just said. And each time McCain or the moderator doesn’t die.

    I don’t advocate this for the future, because everyone just ends up getting all drunk and having their own presidential debate in your living room. Then you have to figure out do you want to sit through it again online somewhere the next day, cause you don’t really remember too much.

    And I think there should be a drinking game for every time someone calls Gabe too condescending in Friday Fights. I feel you Katie, but I prefer to think of him as an “asshole with a heart of gold”. Because he mentions Darfur like once a week (jk).

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.