You know, the truth of the matter is that as a country we have been and continue to be in a very difficult spot, and very little about yesterday’s election was ever going to change much about that. I’m not suggesting that political agendas or public policy don’t have effect on the shape and direction of society. That is basically the ONLY thing they have an effect on. That is, like, their whole thing. But almost every issue that we’re facing right now is so complicated, so intractable, and so widespread, involving moving parts in every area of the whole world, that the dude who gets to bang the gavel becomes increasingly small in comparison. It’s also worth noting that it’s hard for EVERYONE out there, not just shrimps. Remember George W. Bush? He just published a memoir in which he talks about how hard things were for him. FOR HIM! FOR THAT FUCKING GUY! But you have to believe that’s true. I’m absolutely sure it was. Despite the fact that he basically drove the entire planet’s face into the dirt, that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt his feelings. The oppressive and sometimes unbearable weight of being human affects us all, no matter what. And so, the very least we can do is try to find SOME kind of happiness in this Swamp of Sadness.

For example, maybe you love the new Pokemon. Maybe you think that shit is straight gully, son. Maybe you are so pumped about the new Pokemon that you’re going to log onto the Internet to let all the haters know what’s what. Do it! There is literally no one stopping you. (Headphones UP!):

Fuck the Crips and the Bloods. BLASTOIDS VS. SOMETHINGZOIDS, NIGGA! Follow your joy. (Via TheDailyWhat.)

Comments (87)
  1. You forgot to mention how this is my boyfriend! Guess what we bonded over?!

  2. Pokemons do have souls.

  3. We can’t all Pikachoose what we love in life.

  4. Get this guy an Oscar!

  5. Did you ever find James from Team Rocket attractive when he put on a dress and played girl Team Rocket Person?
    Me Neither

  6. Is this the same guy who hates Wal-Mart?

  7. i don’t think he’s really looked around for depictions of this “Ash” character fucking his female companions. this is the internet, dude. in 2010.

    if you can’t find footage of popular japanimation characters having sex on the internet in 2010, the internet has failed us. start over. blow it up and start over.

  8. Um this kind of really makes me want to play the Pokemon game.

  9. I wonder if he’d beat me up for telling him DQM:Joker was a much better game and basically took the Pokemon model and made it actually good.

  10. This is DEFINITLEY my boyfriend. He can make his Squirtle battle my Jigglypuff ANY time.

  11. I wish this guy was my fucking boyfriend. He’s the best person ever. Unfortunately he only has eyes for Jigglypuff.

  12. Niggas be catchin’ em all!

  13. “GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK IS SUCH A BADASS MOTHERFUCKER THAT THERE ARE ONLY 8 BADGES IN KANTO AND HE HAS 10 OF THEM.”–that guy probably

  14. I think we’ve found a new friend for Red Shirt Guy!

    • Gross I don’t want to have sex with Warlocks, I just want to be friends
      -Red Shirt Guy

      • Oh man, I’m sorry Red Shirt Guy, I hadn’t watched the video when I commented. I thought he just was really into (TWSS!) Pokemon. My comment was an insult to you and I’m sorry. You’re still my nerdy hero Red Shirt Guy!

  15. Straight up, y’all? This mother fucker came correct. Recognize.

  16. That’s a monologue from the new David Mamet play, right?

  17. i’m watching it for the second time. still amazing. i guess if you were going to fuck jigglypuff you’d want jigglypuff to sing to you. seems logical.

  18. “Can the Bloods shoot you with a water-gun attack? No they can’t!”

    What a beautiful world it would be.

    “Breaking News: Water balloon riots breaking out across the Bronx today; everyone really happy!”

  19. So he’s passionate about his cartoon porn. I guess that makes sense in his Toys R Us rant why he was soo pissed he couldn’t find any coloring books.

  20. George Bush doesn’t care about Pokemon.

  21. So he’s into Poke-porn? I didn’t know gotta catch em’ all was refering to STDS…

  22. Po-ke-mon, gotta catch em all/

    Fuck the gang shit, let’s jus ball/

    with our Poke-cards, go straight hard/

    I’ll blast yr ass with my Charizard/

    Fuck that nigga Ash, that niggaz a fag/

    Thinka all the female partners he’s had/

    But didn’t tap one ass, he’d just relax/

    All day with that fat-ass Snorlax/

    Pikachu, he’d probly sleep with too,/

    but that ain’t cool cuz he’s a dude!/

    If i was in the game i woulda fucked em all/

    Misty woulda sucked on these PokeBalls/

    Black & White, the new game, is the sickness/

    156 new pokemon on my wishlist/

    And if you talk shit, i’ma give you the business/

    Call my nigga Squirtle, have him give you syph’lis/

    Pokemon is the TRUTH, you disagree? YR BITCHES!

    CHUUUUUUUUUUCH, PEACE!!!

  23. This video has made me happy, and forced me to spend the night before my scary job interview upvoting all of you and searching on YouTube for the semi-ironic Pokemon fake raps that Ant and Dec used to do on SM:TV Live.

    When I was a dorky little Lorry, I thought this was the funniest thing ever:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgS-LjL8Xl8&feature=related

    • wow, flashbacks there…I think I only watched it for their skit. Certainly not for the voice talent on pokemon. gahhh my ears. Ant, Dec, Cat Deely and Jamie Oliver should narrate from now on.

  24. I actually do love and am amped about the new Pokémon. I’m gonna buy it around release date and if anyone wants to trade friend codes you can hit me up anywhere (links are in my profile)

  25. Black man doing his thing, baby! I already told you that shit is over, Dawg. I hit it and I quit it. You can have your Jigglypuff back.

  26. It’s funny, because this LITERALLY is a game.

  27. This is my favorite Pokemon:


    Likitung
    Thank You

  28. Here’s my ultimate pokemon team.

    My level 65 Craposaur:

    My level 70 Tumorichu:

    My level 59 Brain Snake:

    I choose you!

  29. “This video no longer available due to a copyright claim by Black ninja Entertainment Inc.”

    Guys, why did you have to get your entertainment company involved? Sidebar: What else are you working on?

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