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To be honest, this week’s Charlie Sheen story is only my fourth favorite Charlie Sheen story of all time, and that’s probably because there are a bunch of Charlie Sheen stories I don’t even know about. My third favorite Charlie Sheen story was when he wrote 9/11 fan fiction to Barack Obama. My second favorite Charlie Sheen story is when he was the first Mr. Cool Disguise. And my very favorite Charlie Sheen story, of course, is when he apologized to Denise Richards for calling her a nigger. Compared to all of those stories, police responding to a call from the Plaza Hotel, only to discover a naked Charlie Sheen in a trashed hotel room drunkenly complaining about a prostitute stealing his wallet is just another day at the office. And apparently, I am not the only one who feels this way. Charlie Sheen also feels this way. From People
Despite a daylong hospital stay, Charlie Sheen plans to be back on the job without missing a beat.
“Charlie will be working this week doing a cameo role, playing himself, in a small movie as a favor to a friend and has every intention of going back to work on Two and a Half Men on Tuesday,” his manager Mark Burg tells PEOPLE. “He’s looking forward to working.”
Haha. “Work.” Sure. It’s almost crazy how hard Charlie Sheen works, you guys. “Boss, why is the Employee of the Month plaque so dusty and sun-faded?” “Oh, that’s because it goes to the same hard worker every month, so it never gets changed out.” Those flame-and-poker-suit-printed silk shirts aren’t going to pay for themselves! Every day Charlie Sheen is hustling. On his grind, for sure.
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pshh. he caused $7,000 worth of damage. he makes that in just the set up of a joke. punchlines, that’s where the REAL money is.
Charlie Sheen also makes around $2 million an episode for 2 and 1/2 men, so take comfort in the fact that this guy makes more money being terrible on a terrible show than you will in all of your combined creative endeavors.
By my calculation, assuming a 2 mill payout per episode and 22 min per episode, his 7 thou rampage represents 0.07% of a single episode. For one episode’s pay he could rampage through entire hotels! #noiwillnotshowmywork
Charlie Sheen OR alcohol? Bing is really off its game lately.
On a scale of Charlie Sheen stories I would give this a 2, maybe 2 and a Half mehs.
*goes to find a noose*
Better find 2, I logged in to upvote this.
Can we judge, really? Who here hasn’t been found naked by the cops in a trashed hotel room, drunkenly complaining about a prostitute stealing his or her wallet? Let’s not be hypocrites, please.
Somebody get me District Commander Colvin!
….on a Tuesday morning…
…after taking said prostitute out for dinner with the ex-wife…
I think that on a sliding scale, it makes sense. Like, when I was young, I thought getting wildly drunk was cooool (for wildly young insert 2 years ago, for cooool insert alcoholism was a valid choice) and making a normal amount of money for a just out of college adult, I more than once showed up to work still drunk, one night even after having been brought home by the police. So if you scale up to the amount of money he makes, I’d say the misbehaving is scaled up too.
Wait. How old is Sheen?
“a small movie as a favor to a friend”=home video of a birthday party
or wedding
http://tnaron.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/roger-sterling-blackface-mad-men.jpg?w=340&h=309
I told you it was a “breaking-bricks-at-the-mall” kind of day
We never saw it coming.
Oh Garth Volbeck, you trouble-maker.
“What are you in for, drugs?”
-Literally every conversation Charlie Sheen has ever had in jail.
I can only imagine what This Is My Nightmare will have to say about this picture.
Yep, that is definitely my boyfriend.
You mean your John*
*This joke is not meant to imply that thisismynightmare is a painted lady.
Is it just me, or does this story actually kind of make Charlie Sheen sound kind of awesome?
All stories make Charlie Sheen sound kind of awesome. *sunglasses*
Ick, even I don’t like the way that one felt…
that comment made you sound kind of awesome.
It was the sunglasses, wasn’t it? *sunglasses*
they didn’t hurt. I can tell you that much.
http://cdn0.knowyourmeme.com/i/000/075/193/small/snoopy_dealwithit_3.gif?1286228047
<– What's the opposite of sunglasses? Contacts? *contacts*
When I was found drunk and naked in a hotel room after being robbed by a prostitute, nobody was saying that it made me sound kind of awesome.
That was really rough to watch, what with you being found with a box of graham crackers
She had stolen your cookies, how could you not be mad!
Remember when Robert Downey Jr did the same thing but the girl was wearing a wonder woman costume? And then a few years later we all fell in love with him, there’s still hope Charlie, you just have to play a charismatic superhero
or he could get a cameo in the next Hangover since there is an open spot now and such
About that open spot, Scrabio…
“I laughed my leg off”? Is that a thing people say?
I laughed my gloves off when i read that!
Liam Neeson has a leg for an ass.
In Ireland [DON"T DO IT, TEACHERMAN!] they call a leg [TEACHERMAN, WE'RE WARNING YOU!!!] a lorry!
“Hey, what’s up guys? Why are you all gathering around me menacingly?” — teacherman
“You don’t worry about that. Just worry about putting your head on that curb.” — Monsters
In Ireland we call a leg a potato, because of the cannibalism we forced into when all our real potatoes were stolen by the Lorries during the Famine.
This guy knows what you’re talking about:
http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html
would you prefer “laughed my leg off” or one of the many colorful things mel has said in recent memory?
Wait What? But Neeson has a career! This is an injustice to creepy B-rate hacks everywhere!
Am I the only one strangely comforted by the thought of Liam Neeson renting movies on a hotel TV?
Or he could be hot and talented.
If Nicolas Cage can summon enough moxy to call himself an actor and misguided people agree with him…. Liam should definitely be allowed. Liam’s has more talent in his left lorry (there ya go teacherman) than Nicolas Cage does in his existence as a whole.
Oh, I meant that Sheen could be hot and talented like RDJ. Neeson: hot? Check. Talented? Double-check.
‘Sup, Baby Friday. Been thinkin’ bout u girl
He’s the hardest worker I’ve ever seen at making his surname as ironic as possible.
He should change it to Charlie Tarnish. HEY-O!
His brother’s surname is even more ironic. Because, really, Emilio is the GOOD son of Martin Sheen, the one worth inheriting his father’s last name. But no…God decided it would be Charlie…
I was like… EMILLLLLLIOOOOOOOOO!
Wow, a Night at the Roxbury reference. Nice job, ma’am/sir.
If Charlie Sheen is the Keith Richards of sitcoms, does that make John Cryer the Mike Jagger?
They’re both great dancers!
Actually, that would be Angus T. Jones.
They more of a Josh Lennon-Pete McCartney thing going on if you ask me.
Say what you want, the man has an impeccable sense of fashion.
And he’s still got it!
If mainstream America loves you, it seems pretty clear that you are a total freak in your personal life.
And thus, the Whoa! Principle was born.
http://allieiswired.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/charlie-sheen-mug-shot.jpg
“I deeply apologize to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, a thieving prostitute, who was my best man and stole my wallet at my first two weddings.”
My palms are all sweaty now, worrying that I will miss an obvious joke. Can someone make fun of his hair for good measure? I think it’s pretty standard 40-something but maybe we could just cover all the bases? We don’t want one of those downhill days Gabe was talking about…
I think my comment was rejected? It was just pictures? has this happened to anyone else?
I think if you have more than 2 photos (or links) in a comment it gets sent through moderation.
That can’t be it, i only had 5!
Apparently his ex wife Denise Richards was somehow involved in this mess. I saw her on some trash TV show saying that she will not be commenting and asked for privacy for the sake of her children. Yes she had to get her hair done, hire a stylist, and get her makeup done to go on a television show to ask for privacy and let everyone know she wouldn’t be commenting. I just don’t understand how their marriage didn’t work out.
Denise Richards: It’s complicated.
I actually don’t think she had anything to do with it. She just felt the need to get done up and go on tv to preemptively assure that she wouldn’t be disturbed about it. You know, normal stuff.
She said she was in a hotel room a few doors down with their kids when this happened. I guess she also went to the hospital with him. She said all of this after she told everyone she wouldn’t commenting.
This is a woman who regularly invites papparazzi to her house to take photos of her and their kids. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah, your right….but she is HOT!
Is it weird this story has me craving Dunkin Donuts? It is, isn’t it?
Anyone think I can convince them to deliver?
This was supposed to be a reply to jwormyk. Let me try to smash my bricks in peace, please.
What the hell???? This thread can’t fire me. I quit.
Isn’t this now his dad started out in Apocalypse Now – naked and going crazy in a hotel room? Does Charlie Sheen have to go to Vietnam now?
Been there, done that:
They loved each other in Wall Street.
Guys, this is the part that really confuses me (via http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/26/denise-richards-met-charl_n_774390.html):
“Just hours before, the woman reportedly met Sheen’s ex-wife Denise Richards over dinner Monday night, Life & Style also reports.”
What? WHAT?
“Hey, honey, you don’t mind if I bring a prostitute to dinner tonight, do you?” —Charlie Sheen
“Of course not. The whore, the merrier!” —Denise Richards
P.S. I’m sorry, everyone.
John Cryer: “What did you do this weekend?”
Charlie Sheen: “Nothing.”