Guys, there are some days where it seems like from the moment you wake up, everything is clicking. The sun is shining. You have a good breakfast. There’s an unexpected email waiting in your inbox promising money or fun or love. You have a good lunch. Maybe you have a drink with lunch! The day flies by. In the evening, you have a good dinner with friends or loved ones, noticing your voice rise as you get excited just telling them about what a flawless day you had. It almost feels like a dream, and you think to yourself that if life was just like this all the time, you would not understand what all the stress is about. When you finally lay your head down on the pillow to sleep, there are no stray thoughts or wakeful anxiety, you just go right out, drifting off softly like your head is made of clouds and your heart has never wished a terrible thing in its long-pumping life.

And then there are days where you’re standing in front of a crowd of four people in the service entry of a busy shopping mall, promising to break cement bricks you know you can’t break with moves you don’t understand, and every three minutes feels like three years. “Why is he doing this in the service entry of a shopping mall,” you hear a child ask his father. It breaks your concentration, not only because you need absolute focus just to fail (who knows what you would need to succeed), but also because you realize with sudden clarity that you yourself don’t know the answer to that question. Why do we do anything anywhere, you think for a moment. And still the bricks refuse to break.

There’s just different kinds of days guys, that’s all. Gotta roll with it. (Via GorillaMask.)

Comments (112)
  1. THe Foot Fist WayyyyyYOOWWWW!!! Ooh, that smarts!

  2. As a karate expert Jimmy McMillan is facepalming so hard at this video

  3. Hey, he broke one brick, and that’s one less brick out there trying to sleep with our daughters.

  4. Maybe he should have smanged the bricks instead.

  5. stop making fun of long haired white guys doing karate. stop.

  6. “It’s not that complicated. I guess he should have used his head.” – Groucho Marx

  7. The look on his face after he elbowed the bricks in the last attempt made me sad.

  8. Wait, so is anyone else wondering why Santino Rice is doing karate in a shopping mall?

    Just me? Ok then.

  9. Chuck “The Truck” Wallace has fallen so far after the beating he got from Fred Simmons.

  10. The location is just an homage to kung-fu legend Bruce Lee, who was killed by a cinder block in the service entry of a shopping mall.

  11. Thats so Reagan

  12. Poor guy. His scenario, of being put on the spot to do something he was totally unprepared to do, reminds me of a dream I had the other night. HEAR ME OUT. Basically, I was confronted with a web of lies I’d weaved about needing a babysitter (despite not being a mom) and in order to prove I was a mom I had to change a kid’s diaper. Anyway I failed miserably and the kid ended up having to change his own diaper and he just gave me sass mouth the whole time.

  13. At least he planned ahead and had his arms put in casts beforehand.

  14. Bronson Arroyo, Sr.

  15. All right guys, let’s have the opposite of this day. Let’s kick this day’s ass!

  16. Not pictured: Mr. Miyagi walking away, throwing his hands up, mumbling, “Well, I did what I could. Maybe I’ll move to LA…”

  17. He’s still streets ahead in my books.

  18. Bricks don’t hit back, and if they did I can only assume he would be utterly fucked.

  19. Later that day someone will be casually shopping at the mall only to notice a sad Karate-Santino-Rice sitting by himself in the food court, head hung low, sipping an Orange Julius, replaying over and over in his mind what went wrong.

  20. I just don’t understand the knee one. Is it just me, or was that just not going to work anyhow? Gravity was against him, human anatomy was against him, the height of the bricks was against him. I don’t think an actual karatist (karatist? karatist.) could do that.

  21. You guys have to admit that it’s kind of nuts that I wrote an entire post and there are already 39 comments and yet no one has said a word about his cornrows. LET’S ALL TRY AND GET IT TOGETHER.

  22. Zigged when he shoulda zagged.

  23. If that clip was set in slow motion to the Kinks and starred Bill Murray, it would be a montage from a Wes Anderson film.

    • The karate expert’s father would also have to walk up to him after the montage, put his hand on his shoulder for 30 seconds, SAY NOTHING, and walk away.

  24. What’s weird is that I’ve been reading Videogum for more than two years, and I’d say I’ve read 95 percent of all Videogum articles in the past year. So I feel I know Gabe’s writing pretty well. But this write-up was so good it was a fresh delight. Thanks Gabe.

  25. I don’t comment much anymore, but I can’t quit Gabe’s intros to videos. #hearts

  26. Just like Gabe said, it’s one of those days…

  27. Wonder where he recieved his black belt from…. maybe the school of phooey….

  28. The media is always trying to blame the cornrows.

  29. People be Karate-ing

  30. I think a brick broke when it fell on the floor.

    Oh, and the guy has cornrows. They had nothing to do with breakage either way.

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