Somehow, against all odds, there is still a lot to be said about the complications of romantic love. That shouldn’t really be the case. So much has already been said about it! It’s a topic that people have been talking about forever, and most things have been said over and over and over to death. And yet, here we are, in the year 2010, as hungry as ever for a discussion of what it all MEANS. Romantic relationships form a perfect venn diagram between the universal and the deeply personal. Everything about them is so well-worn, so fully discovered, and yet the minutiae is so deeply subjective that a million years later everyone still experiences everything for the first time. That’s what gives them the confidence to think they actually have something to add to the conversation. “But this happened to me!” And the situation of romantic love/desire/dissolution/etc is so overwhelming and bizarrely lonely even in the heady thick of it that the insatiable need for someone to relieve you of the burden of having to muddle through makes the potential audience for new product almost infinite. “If that happened to you what does it mean for me?! And also: HELP ME!” Of course, in the end, everyone is eventually left alone to stew with their Human Emotions, which continue, despite the advances in CGI technology and smartphones, to be mostly impervious to the influence of “art.” Which leaves us still hungry for more. And thus the cycle continues. The same poop back and forth forever.

Of course, Couples Retreat has nothing to do with any of that. It’s just a fucking paid vacation for Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau.

Couples Retreat is about four couples in varying stages of marriage and divorce. There’s Vince Vaughn and Malin Ackerman, who seem pretty happily married, but perhaps a little complacent. Then there is Faizon Love, whose wife left him, and who is buying motorcycles and dating 20 year olds. Jon Favreau and Kristin Davis got married right after high school because of a pregnancy, and are just counting down the days until their daughter moves away to college so that they can break up. And then there is Jason Bateman and his completely improbable wife Kristen Bell (nope), who interrupt a child’s birthday party to tell everyone that they are considering getting divorced but want to make one last effort to keep things together by going on a tropical vacation to a resort called Eden. The thing is, they can’t afford to go on their own, but they’ve found a good group rate and want EVERYONE TO COME WITH THEM. Sure. Normal friend stuff. You know how your friends are always demanding that you drop everything and accompany them on a last minute tropical vacation in order to help them save their marriage? Anyway, everyone goes, obviously, only to realize they got hoodwinked! This isn’t a tropical paradise, it’s a tropical HELLIDISE! You see, unbeknownst to everyone, they have all signed on to a strictly scheduled regimen of daily therapy and yoga. What?! But what about BOOGIE BOARDING?! What follows is about 45 minutes of the laziest therapy and yoga jokes the world has ever seen (and that is saying something, because the world was built on lazy therapy and yoga jokes). Eventually, it really looks like everyone hates each other and all the relationships are falling apart. Then, all of a sudden, they don’t. In fact, everyone’s marriage is now stronger than ever. (To give you a sense of just how awesome things work out for everyone, Faizon Love’s ex-wife, who is not even in the movie for the first hour and a half, shows up OUT OF NOWHERE at a dance party on the island, and asks him to take her back. Marriage is compromise, indeed!)

Oh good grief.

When the trailers for this movie came out, it seemed obvious that this was just a Hollywood-subsidized vacation for the cast. These things happen from time to time: everyone goes all expenses paid to Hawaii for two months and is paid handsomely for the privilege. (If anyone ever tells you that acting is hard work, punch them in the face PRO BONO.) But it’s insane just how unapologetic the movie is about that fact*. Jon Favreau wrote the script and Vince Vaughn produced it? PERFECT! They did not even bother adding the smokescreen of pretending like they’d been hired on a film and had to go where the work was. “We definitely planned this whole thing from the very beginning.” Now, I still do not understand what a movie producer does (I think it has to do with Bluetooth and being an asshole) but I do have a decent sense of what writing a movie entails, and to say this particular script was phoned in would be an insult to phones.

There’s an extended sequence in the movie where everyone tours the resort and admires the luxurious accommodations. I suppose the point of this, if you’re being VERY generous, is to raise the stakes on how disappointing this trip is going to turn out when they discover they have to do YOGA on a BEAUTIFUL BEACH, but it’s one of those situations where it’s just like, wait, hold up, am I supposed to be excited for these fictional characters (being played by well-paid actors) because they’re in an awesome hotel? Cool. Super pumped for you make believe guys. A room on stilts in the middle of the ocean with a glass-floor so you can see the fish? Neat. So happy for you guys. I wish this movie was forever-long!

It goes without saying that jokes about couples therapy and yoga and Speedo bathing suits are so tired that you’re constantly having to carry them back to their room and tuck them in. It’s 2010 and we are all adults here. Couples therapy is really important for some people! And yoga is a perfectly reasonable way to get exercise. Speedo bathing suits can be funny sometimes, I guess, but write a funny Twitter about it and move on, don’t make a fucking movie out of your juvenile snickers. Complicating things is the fact that at the end of the movie, everyone seems to realize that the intensive therapeutic regimen seems to have worked. So…is couples therapy still boring and lame, or is it incredibly valuable in reviving people’s commitments to each other? There is nothing more annoying than having to do the work of trying to figure out what a movie’s point is when you know the movie itself doesn’t give a shit. So let’s just move on.

Lame jokes aside (although if you do leave the lame jokes aside there is basically just thirty seconds of Vince Vaughn driving a car in the snow or something) the ending of the movie is actually insulting. I don’t ask much from my hackneyed paid-vacation projects, but would it have been so hard to have ONE couple break up? You clearly have no regard for the audience’s intelligence or ability to find humor in anything more subtle than Faizon Love having to pull his dick out in front of all his friends (for no reason, and for no laughs) (there’s also a scene where Jon Favreau is going to masturbate but is interrupted by room serivce LOLOL) but you could at least have the decency to make an adult comedy (?) for adults (?) that takes place on a planet RESEMBLING Earth. It just is not possible that four couples, one of whom is already straight up divorced, and two of which are on the verge of divorce, to all come out of a week long vacation still together and stronger than ever. We live in a post 9/11 Temptation Island world now. It would be one thing, perhaps, if you just wanted these couples to work it out so much because they were all so perfect for each other, but that’s not even the case. In fact, many of them are very bad for each other! They should totally get divorced! Oh phew. These miserable couples succumbed to the irreality of a luxury tropical resort and decided to perpetuate their misery for a few more months until the effect of the sunshine’s vitamin D wears off and they just straight up stab each other’s faces off with dinner knives.


Next week: (500) Days of Summer. As always, please leave your suggestions in the comments or in an email. And if you haven’t done so already, please consult the Official Rules.

*One complicating factor in the “this movie is just a paid vacation for the cast” argument are the numerous scenes featuring some of the worst green-screen I have ever seen. As if it really matters, though. I mean, we can all agree that fuck this movie, right?
Comments (193)
  1. Vince: So you wanna make a terrible movie with me?
    Jon: Fuck, I dunno. Sure.

  2. Glad Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn is not on the hunt list. Rad movie. Re-watched it again this weekend.

  3. You didn’t even get to the part where Vince Vaughn works for Guitar Hero, of course, and uses Guitar Hero to save his marriage I think

  4. Isn’t Vince Vaughn gay or something? I thought I read somewhere that the protest groups were mad at him for it

  5. Remember when this movie hated black people. Me too.


  7. To be fair, I think celebrities have sort of a skewed idea of marriage because celebrity marriages are always so endlessly happy.

  8. I like when the little boy pooped in the hardware store toilet. You know its a quality movie when the best part is a little boy pooping in a hardware store toilet. Blah metaphor about this movie being a piece of shit blah; it doesn’t deserve a well thought out snarky comment.

  9. Love me some Kristin Bell. But I’d prefer to watch her in that Yeasayer video going to an acting class and clutching that big, dying anthropomorphic pustule than watch Couples Retreat. Also, I can always pop in a disc of Veronica Mars. But no Couples Retreat for me. Ever.

    • I just finished Season 2. Many people tell me to avoid Season 3 at all costs, but obviously 1 and 2 were so good! I need help! I’ve been through this once before with Buffy Season 7 and I walked right into the trap.

      Please advise.

      • I didn’t mind watching it. Just don’t go in with unreasonably high expectations because it’s easily the weakest of the three seasons

        • I disagree. I think Season 2 is by far the weakest. No spoilers, but the “big reveal” of who the villain was reminded me of a Scooby Doo plot. Season 3 scales back the “big mystery of the season” angle and instead works with three more maneageable and more believeable mysteries that run aboud 5 episodes each. I think that was a very good decision.

          Anyway, basically Season 1 is one of the all-time best television seasons of anything ever, and Seasons 2 and 3 are both significantly worse (but still better than the average show) in different ways. I still liked both of em a lot.

          • And come on, Buffy Season 7 may be among the worst seasons, but aren’t you still glad you watched just to know what the hell happened? It also seems better the older you are.

          • Having just watched it a couple months ago Buffy Season 7 was definitely weak, but it was still pretty fun (NOT ENOUGH RUPERT GILES), and on the brighter side of things, after Buffy ended the final season of Angel kicked off, which was so refreshingly cool in how it took the Buffyverse and really kicked it up a notch, well, I couldn’t believe how fun it was (but yet again, due to cancellation, they had to curtail some of their plot threads, leading to some pretty permanent changes in the roster; changes that had me stomping around going “NOOOO! It’s SO SAD!!!”)

          • Oh I enjoyed Buffy season 7 if for no other reason than it features Anya and Andrew more than other seasons. And I don’t know what the consensus is on the end of the series, but I think that last episode is great.

            Ass Dan, you may be the first person I’ve ever talked to that has preferred season 3 of Veronica Mars to season 2. I would have liked more closure at the end of season 3. I was really pissed when I watched the last episode, so I think that may have ruined the season for me.

      • Yeah. You’ve already hit the high water mark. The third season was different (college!), and it’s cut up into shorter mysteries, and it’s all kind of downhill. Just keep your expectations low and try not to be distracted every time you see Weevil, because that actor got up to something between seasons and his body-type has changed.

        Season 3 is weird.

        • Weevil actually had a weird disease that made him all red and bloated. It’s sad cause everyone thought he was on drugs or something. I mean he was on drugs, but they were given to him by a doctor.

          • Yeah, I was assuming it was health-related or something. It was perplexing. But I was happy he was still on the show, although they kind of ran out of stuff for his character to do.

            And while I’m here, I want to respond to your point a couple posts up about season 2′s villain— namely, I forgot about that villain! I forgot about the villain because I liked a lot of season 2, then I guess I just omitted the big reveal. At the time I watched I remember thinking, “Hunh. That kind of dulls some of the shine away from the first season. Oh well.” I think Season 3′s biggest disappointment was that Rob Thomas gambled with the renewal for a fourth season by making (what became) the series finale a cliffhanger on top of a cliffhanger on top of a cliffhanger. But that added extra “Fourth Season” pitch with Veronica joining the FBI and her boss being played by an unshaven Walton Goggins (love me some Goggins!) almost kind of made up for it.

            But I will forever credit Veronica Mars for giving me the opportunity to watch Enrico Colatoni do a great job being basically the best dad ever. I watched Just Shoot Me when I was a teenager or whatever and was like, “That guy takes photos and he makes quips and stuff. Noted.” But he was so good in Veronica Mars. When he showed up in the first episode of Party Down as the neutered husband I absolutely loved it.

      • season 3 does have the worst version of that dandy warhol’s song.

      • So late to the party here, but Season 3 should not be avoided at all costs. As others have said, you just can’t expect it to be totallysuperawesomeomg. It’s worth watching if you’re a fan. Truly the only terrible thing about S3 is Piz. I hate Piz. If you could watch S3 and just put your thumb over Piz for the whole season, it would be way better.

      • Unless you will be shattered by anything less than a perfect Veronica Mars season, go ahead and watch season 3. The show did lose a bit of its magic, what with the college setting and the mini-arcs, but it was still in the upper percentile of the average TV drama. I admit, I rank it pretty low as well, but that’s because season 1 was the best single-season of a television show ever, and season 2 completely and utterly broke my heart (in a good and very weepy way). Season 3 is easily the least memorable season, but if you can get past Veronica suddenly looking like a perfectly coiffed CW “college girl,” it’s still full of the smart plotting and quippy quips we know and love.

    • Also, remember when she was in Party Down and how awesome that was?

    • i too will watch anything she is in based on my love for veronica mars.

      someone on facebook started a group trying to get a veronica mars movie… all you veronica mars loving monsters should join up!!/group.php?gid=97750248959&ref=ts

  10. I’m pretty sure I could get Ken Jeong to show up in a home video of my daughter’s ballet recital if I just asked.

  11. The trailer made it look like not only did the horrible, disgusting male cast pull a series of perfect 10s as their wives/ girlfriends (obviously), but that Jon Favreau, specifically, could fuck any gorgeous young thing he wanted to at any time. Is that what the movie is like, really?

  12. Short story: I was dragged to see this movie against my will. I protested through the credits, and was very unhappy. Then, when the yoga instructor character — whose accent was so bad it sounded like a college improv troupe member’s idea of what Hank Azaria’s Apu accent would sound like as a yoga instructor — came out to do his grand “Speedo Swap” routine, I’d had enough, screamed “Oh, FUCK ME!” and was kicked out of the theater in front of my girlfriend, and her parents. The end.

    • money baby, money.

    • who kicked you out of the movie theater?

      • Thanks for asking, Steve. It was the “manager” of the theater — who looked like large manchild with a constellation of acne — if I remember correctly. He definitely drove a Dodge Stratus.

        • That excessive amount of detail sounds like the unnecessarily turgid elaborations of a bad liar. Your story doesn’t strike me as a full verity.

          • That hurts, Steve. I remember all the details because though it’s funny now, at the time it was pretty humiliating. Also, the Dodge Stratus reference is from SNL, which you of course knew, because you are smart. Whatever, the case, “Roll With It” is still hella rad.

          • didnt catch the SNL dodge stratus reference because I’m way too cool to watch SNL, too busy partyin’ down in my fun and free wheelin’ lifestyle bro – PSYCHE! The circle is now complete. Now I am the liar

    • Is Jean Reno the yoga instructor? Because if it is, I think that’s just how his accent is. He may have been playing it up, but he is Spanish/ French as a mothafucka.

    • That is an awesome story. You were martyred that day.

    • You are the most Larry David ever.

    • You got kicked out of a theater for screaming “Oh, FUCK ME!” while you were sitting with your girlfriend and her parents? I don’t care what the movie is, that’s pretty classless, bro.

      • whats worse is he made the whole thing up

      • teacherman has never seen Couples Retreat.

        • Teacherman generally has the good sense to go along with what his lady’s parents want to do and be nice about it. He can complain about it at home.

          • Teacherman at the Movies: A Play in One Act

            (Open in a movie theatre–two couples, one older, one younger)

            Mother Friday: Oh, let’s go see that cute little Couples Vacation movie, donchaknow?

            Father Friday: Ha, ha, whatever, dudes!

            Baby Friday: Oh, guys, I don’t…

            Teacherman: Now, then, let’s do what your parents want! After all, they were kind enough to spend the evening with us.

            Teacherman: Ha, ha! Oops. My shirt opened up a little there. Excuse me. Why don’t you three go and get seats, and I’ll get us some popcorn and drinks.

            (after the movie)

            Baby Friday: Oh MY GOD, that movie was SO BAD!

            Teacherman: I know! I was laughing through my tears–it seemed your parents were having such a good time, I didn’t want to spoil it.

            (*gets laid*)


          • That One’s Wife Receives the Ten Millionth Insanely Offensive Socially Conservative Email Forward From That One’s Mother: A Play in One Act


            The harsh glow from the FLORESCENT LIGHTS bears down on THAT ONE’S WIFE. She has one thirty-minute window to check her personal email and this time is very important to her.


            THAT ONE’S WIFE (v.o.): Spam, bills, spam, fucking spam. Wait…

            THAT ONE’S WIFE opens an email from THAT ONE’S MOTHER (who, aside from her media-reinforced world view, is the most awesome person ever), which reads:

            Obama is the fucking antichrist. He wants to murder your grandparents and is spending all of your money to fund the liberal media. Also, he’s a celebrity and wants to indoctrinate your tiny, innocent children with communist ideals and other crazy ideas like not leaving our planet in a Mad Maxian dystopia except with a shit ton of more water. Oligarhy.

            p.s The Mexicans are also ruining our country and must be stopped.

            THAT ONE’S WIFE responds with the following:
            That One’s Mother, I love you to death, but please stop forwarding me this bullshit. I know you and That One have had some trying arguments around global, national, and even local politics, but I would like to stay out of this. I disagree with many of your ideas, so I apologize if I’ve laughed during some of your statements during the last ten years. I look to you as a second mother, but your world view is skewed to a dangerous degree.

            See you at Christmas!

            That One’s Wife.


            THAT ONE’S WIFE and THAT ONE’S MOTHER share a passionate, genuine embrace and continue to live life as if they were two adults who had differing opinions and managed to address those differences in a healthy manner.

          • “We’re married.” –married monsters.

          • WARNING: Friday Parents may appear more normal onscreen than they are in real life.

          • Apologies, meaverly. I was just trying to draw a counterpoint, as I think BF was. I try not to draw on my personal life here, because that’s not what this is about, but sometimes it’s impossible to put aside individual experience when commenting on celebrities farting on trampolines while on a paid vacation.

          • The things we Monsters do for love. I’ve learned to appreciate The Nanny because Mrs. Fozzy has an inexplicably deep and sincere adoration for Fran Drescher. (And not even pre-Nanny Fran Drescher, when she was kinda cool.) Our TiVo is seriously full of that shit delightful show.

          • On things that count, like politics, Teacherman stands up for what he believes in. On things that don’t count, like some dumb movie that, at worst, is going to take 2 hours out of his life, he rolls with it. Of course, he’s laid back like that. Some people feel like they need to take a stand about EVERYTHING.

          • Wow — thanks BF! I should admit though that I have never seen Couples Retreat and I feel like I started something here that I really didn’t mean to. I mean, I would have sat through the movie, but then I’m sort of intimidated by Mama Friday. I guess if I had to summarize my position I would say

          • Hold on a minute. Baby Friday and Teacherman are married in real life? Do you ever sit across from each other and post comments simultaneously? My mind is blown.

          • I’m upvoting you right now, while Baby Friday sits on the couch next to me. How’s your mind?

    • Upvotes to infinity and beyond!

  13. This doesn’t give me much hope for my inner-city Detroit-set bleak ensemble domestic drama featuring hard-working, struggling actors in the roles of wives with disproportionately hot husbands who never experience gay panic.

  14. All I need to know about romance I learned from Vince Vaughn movies.
    Which is why, as a woman, I know I’m not pretty enough to date anything above gorilla-level on the evolutionary tree, and I should be happy that I can even get that.

  15. I would like to take this time to nominate werttrew to start nominating things again. While I look forward to all of Gabe’s WMOAT columns, werttrew’s nominations for Amelia were always the cherry on top. It’s not like I don’t enjoy the WOMAT’s since Amelia was finally reviewed, but I still get an twinge of excitement when I reach the comments section, expecting to see a plea for Amelia, but finding no such plea. Instead, I see monsters doing strange things like actually discussing the movie on topic. This is an example of how I feel when I scan through a werttrew-less comments section:

    So, werttrew, I nominate you to nominate a new movie. Something with Renee Zellweger perhaps? Or not, it’s not like you own me anything. Either way, great column, Gabe.

  16. Very excite (TOPICAL) for next week. One of the more interesting things about (500) Days Of Summer was how people reacted to the so-called “inversion” of the standard romantic comedy formula.

    Also, still nominating The Sweetest Thing.

    • The two worst parts about (500) Days of Summer:

      1) JGL was all like, “I really like you.” ZD was all like, “Sorry, I don’t want to make things too serious.” JGL was all like, “OK, I’m mature enough to handle that and will respect your wishes.” And then he wasn’t mature and didn’t respect, and then the movie made ZD out to be the bad guy!

      2) “Autumn.” BLECH. SRSLY guys?!?

      3) What kind of hell-born alt-rock karaoke bar has the Pixies on the menu but not Bruce Springsteen?

      4) They made downtown LA look like a place where you won’t get stabbed just for being there after 5pm.

      • I realize I said “two worst parts” but then kept going. Because there are more worst parts about that movie.

      • Just don’t go east of Main Street, and you’ll be fine.

      • I totally agree with you about numbers 1 and 2, although the movie redeemed itself for me in so many ways with the “Expectations vs. Reality” sequence. I thought that was so clever! Also, Joseph Gordon Levitt is totally cute, so it has that going for it.

      • 2 and 3 are true, but 4 is wrong and 1 is basically missing the whole point of the movie. It’s about the incredible misogyny and self-centeredness of the classic 60s/70s romantic comedy! (And romantic comedies in general.) JGL’s character is explicitly told that he is an idiot and an asshole, in the FIRST SCENE. And he IS. And he comes to realize that his expectations/memories of Summer were total bullshit.

        (Which is why that movie would be a lot better without the winking Autumn joke at the end.)

        • WARNING: Long, thoughtful criticism of a movie I didn’t like follows.

          I don’t think I “missed the whole point,” deepomega. I saw the “point” they were going for but I frankly didn’t care to pony up the cash to buy it. I get that we’re supposed to swallow the whole film with a healthy swig of IRONY, but even after all of JGL’s self-realizations the film still paints ZD’s character in a negative light for simply being a woman who is upfront and honest about what she wants. It’s like he realizes he was wrong the whole time, but still thinks she’s a bitch who screwed him over. And then he starts the whole thing over with a girl named Autumn, suggesting this is a never-ending cycle (the little day counter even resets to zero).

          So great, this guy who was acting like a douchebag the entire film did not grow or change at all and is in fact about to repeat all the same mistakes again with the next season girl? That might work for a different movie, one where the movie pegs the main character as an anti-hero or something, but I believe this was played as a traditional character arc. All of JGL’s charm aside, it’s a completely insufferable character and I couldn’t root for him.

          Oh, and how about the hoary “horn-dog best friends” (stolen from every rom-com ever) and “wise beyond her years little sister” (stolen directly from “Bottle Rocket”) and other cliches that were lifted wholesale from other movies? Is it a commentary/satire of overused cinematic tropes? Sure, maybe it was intended that way, but it was played so straight that it felt more like a straight ripoff.

          I just didn’t like this movie, and I don’t think there’s as much depth to it as everyone wants to think there is.

          • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • I’m just not sure how ZD was shown as negative once JGL starts remembering all the shit he hadn’t told the viewers (her different musical preferences/him being a total prick to her/etc.). The negative stuff is all told-not-said, by JGL, and is directly contradicted by the later versions of the scenes the movie presents. Unreliable narrator! And in the end, her explanation of why she’s married is really pretty great and emotionally deeper than any of JGL’s nonsense.


          • plus Zooey is pretty

          • You guys! Am I coming off like an asshole with all this dislike for (500) Days of Summer? Sorry! I love all ya’ll monsters, I don’t want to hurt feelings. It’s like my this movie is my Hyde potion:

          • Foz, you can like whatever you like (and dislike whatever you don’t). I always thought that movie looked a little twee myself.

          • Baby Friday? More like Best Friday. Am I right guys?

          • i think she’s painted in a negative light because we only see his view of it. her character is not a normal character, it’s how his character saw her. (ugh, sentences are hard.) i’m sure if we could follow her character around, she’d be much more likable and a normal human. through the lens of JGL, we only see that she broke his heart.

            also, while i identified with JGL’s character (oops, i wasn’t mature enough to have that non-serious relationship that one time), i still really liked ZD in the movie. i didn’t really think she was the villain. i think his own problems and hang ups were the villain. or something. i feel like i could have a conversation with you about this, but i’m failing at explaining myself here.

      • i completley agree with you fozzy, i thought 500 days of summer was a complete piece of shit made by Marc Webb as an excuse to take a painfully large amount of shots of Zooey’s face, arms, legs, lips, eyes and slip it into the world as soft indie porn

      • Wait, was this the movie where ZD clearly knew JGL wanted more than she was prepared to give, the entire time, and led him on to feed her selfish desire for attention? She chose to spend time with him knowing he was interested in a relationship with her, no matter what he said to the contrary. But he’s the only one to blame? She bears no responsibility for leading him on for months, then dropping him and giving another guy exactly what he was looking for? Was his desire really ambiguous, or was she just not paying attention, and if not, is THAT okay in a lengthy “relationship”?

        Give me a break.

        ZD remains the worst.

        We can at least agree the movie has problems.

    • you know, you can shit on (500) days of summer all you want, but the part where JGL winks at his reflection that’s actually han solo is pretty genius.

    • This is gonna be the first movie in the WMOAT that I actually liked.

    • I always wondered if Selma Blair actually read the script before agreeing to do that movie.

    • Kristen Bell kind of looks like Lisa Kudrow in that picture, which is okay with me since Lisa Kudrow is also really pretty

  17. Couples: Retreat!

    (I’m getting into punctuation)

  18. Oh Gabe, when will you learn: Don’t need money, don’t need fame, don’t need need no credit card to ride this train

    • Yea! There can never be enough Huey Lewis references. NEVER!

      BTW, the other night when Huey (and the News) were singing the National Anthem before the Giants/Phillies game, I thought I heard the announcer say they had a new album coming out. I’m sure their timeless sound translates perfectly well to 2010.

  19. This movie looks great!

    Is it impossible for anyone else to tell that that shot uses a green screen? I really can’t tell, and i’ve looked at it like two times already.

  20. Tron. Eets no so good.

  21. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  22. forgive me if it’s already been covered, but for the love of all that is holy, GRAN TORINO.

  23. Reality Bites.

    Please, don’t hit me.

    The Saint (Val Kilmer)
    Spread (Ashton Kutcher)
    Hollow Man (Kevin Bacon & Sausage)

    • I’ll be honest, I saw the Saint with my dad as a little kid because he owned the same car as Roger Moore had on the T.V. show and we were literally the only people in the theater. And even as an 8 year-old, I knew it was a pretty terrible movie.

  25. OMG, I just did a VGum search to see if Hollow Man had been watched or whatever, and I found this old post about LOST season 5 casting. It’s a hilarious article, and I scrolled down to check out the comments, of which there was one, which was also hilarious-

  26. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  27. I’m so happy (I first wrote ‘I’m sorry happy’ – a conflicted emotion) that (500) Days of Summer will be reviewed next week! That movie was just so pleased with itself I wanted to punch it.

  28. Can I submit a movie for the Hunt? Remember Me – has this been done? I wouldn’t be surprised if it has been done because it is the worst.

  29. I must have always thought that Faizon Love was Donald Faison from Clueless because I was really confused by that picture. He didn’t look anything like Murray!

  30. At least Peter Serafinowicz TRIED to be funny.

  31. Nominations:

    The Bachelor: that horrible, horrible movie where Chris O’Donnell tries to get somebody to marry him for 100 million dollars, but he’s such an asshole that all his old girlfriends would rather be broke than stuck with him.

    Virtuosity: This movie was so terrible I have blocked most of its plot out of my memory, but I do remember Russell Crowe is in it.

  32. I think you should do 8 mile. It is just a wonderfully horrible film.

  33. Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day.

    Here are some “memorable” quotes:

    Ashton: Love is the only shocking act left on the planet.

    Jamie Foxx: Listen, I’m a player. But I shut down my playerness from New Years to St. Patty’s Day just so I can avoid this day.

    Jessica Biel: I have my best friend, Candy.
    Jamie Foxx: Oh, that’s good.
    Jessica Biel: Cause I can’t get enough.

    THE DEFENSE RESTS (until next week).

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  35. I think (500) Days of Summer gets a bad rep, but I look forward to The Hunt. I thought the movie’s only real problem was the completely unnecessary, “cute” narration. Show, don’t tell and all that. But like others have pointed out, (500)’s a good movie because of stuff like that “reality vs. expectations” sequence, the musical number, etc. I can’t think of a more realistic portrayal of a relationship cycle in a movie.

    Anyways, I nominate Obsessed, because that is a movie where Idris Elba gets raped.

  36. Here is another short story: So, I watched this movie in August with a boy I was dating. He thought it was hilarious! Like, he was laffing-out-loud. I remember thinking, “It might be time to bail on this whole relationship thing,” as he was laughing hysterically at the part where they make the Faizon Love get naked. But I didn’t, and then I found out I was his “other” girlfriend. Like, there was another one, besides me, too. So, for obvious reasons, I broke it off, like I should have done when I realized he thought this movie was funny…
    And then I found five dollars.

  37. I nominate Wolf Man because it sux butts.

  38. I nominate Warlock, which basically ended Julian Sands career as a budding A-lister.

  39. I know In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is a real winner.

  40. the hunt will be over if you watch “The Room.”

  41. Vince Vaughn movies are so straight. Not “heterosexual straight”, but “Psycho Remake straight.”

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