So, there has to be someone out there sitting up in bed at night sipping Constant Comment tea while propped against a husband pillow from Target watching Dancing with the Stars on a $45 flat-screen TV they literally trampled someone to death to buy at last Christmas’s Sam’s Club Black Friday Sale who thinks to themselves, “The world makes sense, and the things that people do in this world are appropriate and understandable. There is absolutely no mystery as to how we got where we are, or why we spend our time and money engaging in the things that we engage in. Everything is correct.” Right? There’s someone like that? There’s someone for whom this is just like, “Yup. What? Was Bristol Palin supposed to NOT dance on national TV in a gorilla suit? Now who is the one who is being weird about this?” There has to be someone like that for whom this makes sense and that’s why this exists because otherwise what the FUCK?! (Via Dlisted.)

Comments (67)
  1. Ugh, she’s ruining animals for me. Quick, someone please help me.

  2. GORILLAS ARE APES NOT MONKEES

  3. Why is Bristol Palin on Sabado Gigante?

  4. Why is Bristol dressed up like one of her mother’s constituents?

  5. guys, bristol palin is in the young generation and has something to say.

    why are you putting her down? she’s too busy dancing in a gorilla suit to put anybody down for dancing in a gorilla suit.

  6. [lazy joke about how it is redundant for her to wear a gorilla suit]

  7. Theory: I think her partner hates her mother and has just decided to throw away the season and make Bristol look ridiculous. For sure, right?!?


  8. Pictured from left to right: me, this clip.

  9. She’s making a monkey out of us.

  10. Where’s a banana peel when you need it?

  11. *sits on a stool and cranks his music box* Yes my monkeys…. dance… DANCE…. DANCE FOR YOUR BANANAS!!!! MWAHAHA!!!

  12. She must be auditioning for the Planet of the Apes musical.

  13. Also, Sarah Palin wasn’t happy with her daughter’s support of evolution in dance.

  14. This explains the leaked picture from Bristol and Levi’s wedding night.

  15. connecting the dots here:

    don’t most people want to decrease the suffering caused by horrific tv?

    bristol palin is almost always on tv in some way that most of us would find horrific.

    you would hope that below the surface there is some iceberg of interest in making good entertainment. could it be that something much more pointless is going on in Bristol’s tv appearances?

    what is it she doesn’t want people to do on tv? what sort of low-standards or randomness are beyond the pale? when she’s encouraged the world with these sorts of terrible interviews, acting, dancing, and random animal suits in an almost sado-masochistic way?

  16. Constant Comment is pretty good tea. The rest of this shit is bananas.

  17. How is she still on this show? Her feet were barely moving and she has no rhythm…but yea, gorilla suit, ugh

  18. If you actually watch the dance, you’ll see the gorilla mask was more expressive than her actual face.

  19. sure it’s weird. but honestly, compared to some of the things her mom has done, this is downright logical.

  20. She looked better before she took the suit off.


  21. Of course use gorilla costumes in a dance with African American roots. You two dolts didn’t mean it, I’m sure, but fucking hell, that was appallingly stupid. Who let them do that?

  22. I still can’t believe America has kept Baby Grizzly over The Hoff(tm) and The Situation(tm).

  23. Damnit, would someone smarter than me find a picture of Dave Foley from that Kid’s in the Hall sketch and write “People think I got the power because I got the monkeys” underneath it? Thanks.

    *Suicide Hotline*

  24. off topic, but RIP da cake eatur.

  25. I wasn’t sure which one was the professional dancer until they took the gorilla suits off.

  26. THEY BLEW IT ALL UP!

    Yeah yeah, Charlton Heston, apes, time travel, whatever.

  27. Sometimes I think that the people who program television really know me. My wants, my loves, the things that make me smile and the things that make me think. And those people are really angry with me for some reason I don’t understand.

  28. Hurrah for the sparkly, sparkly banana vest?

  29. “Fuck you, BOOKS!” – Dancing with the Stars

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