Whoa! I knew being white was hard, but it is about to get so much harder!!!! There are two new trailers out this week for two new movies that are about to show us what it’s like when people stop being polite and start getting IN/OUT OF LOVE. The first is Blue Valentine, which features Ryan Gosling (relax, ladies) and Michelle Williams (relax, fellas) as a couple that is in and then out of love. At one point, they are so out of love that the MPAA has given the film an NC-17 rating (which Harvey Weinstein is being mad about as we speak). The other film is called Restless, starring a couple of nobodies (relax, nobodies), directed by Gus Van Sant. Here, too, it looks like people are going to fall in love and then also fall in disease. There is also a lot of hanging out at funerals because when you are white you don’t have to work. It’s awesome. Anyway, dry your constantly tear-filled eyes because of the beauty AND ugliness of the world and enjoy these trailers, you guys:

Restless trailer, you guys:

Blue Valentine trailer, you guys:

Yikes. Right? So hard!

Comments (79)
  1. Ryan Gosling – so, so, so pretty.

  2. I watched with the sound off. It was kind of like a blind taste test. They both taste terrible.

  3. No Bing Restless not The Young and the Restless

    also on a serious note I will watch both these movies

  4. An NC-17 rating? More like “being white is hardcore.”

  5. I just snagged my cashmere sweater when I lifted my noise-canceling earbuds so I could watch these trailers at work in my ergonomically correct office chair!

    Being white’s a bitch and a half.

  6. Being white is way hard. You have to pop your collar, but deny it was on purpose. You have to love your mom, but deny it was on purpose. And you have to dance badly, and insist that it was on purpose.

  7. Uh-oh! Someone restrain thisismynightmare. This could get ugly.

    Or so, so pretty.

  8. I GET that it’s tongue in cheek, BUT IT is true that OBSTACLES are obstacles NO MATTER what the size.

  9. It’s my life’s ambition to film an NC-17 rated movie with Ryan Gosling.

  10. NC-17? Looks like being white is about to get REAL hard, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

    I hope for your sake that you do not know what I mean.

  11. Restless working title: “Harold & Maude 2: Younger & Hotter”

  12. NC-17. Like Showgirls! Yay!

  13. My ovaries are basically weeping right now. I seriously am not watching either of these films in a public setting, particluarly the week before or during my ladytime.

  14. Not gonna lie, I am going to see Blue Valentine. I have been looking forward to that for ages. Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling are as talented as they are attractive (i.e. very)

    • Ditto. Listen, if I’m going to suffer through Murder by Numbers and the other hour of the Notebook that doesn’t have Ryan Gosling in it, I’m going to see this movie. Also, I read that the NC-17 rating was unnecessary, and I have to see the movie if I’m going to be outraged, start a blog about my outrage to attract Ryan Gosling, and then have a million of his babies.

  15. SOMETIMES being WHITE is also colorful WHILE hard:

  16. Stop cheapening the memory of Harold and Maude, Restless! And Blue Valentine, stop cheapening the memory of… a Fatboy Slim video?

  17. So “Blue Valentine” is about people crying and riding buses, and “Restless” is about I’m bored?

    • “restless” is an audience participation event where, the goal of which is to get the audience to fidget endlessly out of boredom.

  18. i’m gonna need a bigger bucket for all this tear-infused vomit.

  19. As terrible and over-the-top as that Blue Valentine movie looks, I may end up seeing it in spite of myself. I truly cannot even imagine what prompted the NC-17 rating.


  20. the restless one is kind of inoffensive, but the twee/quirk/barf is off the charts in the blue valentine trailer

  21. “The pleasure is all yours” and “Make Her BETTER”, (while pounding the table!!!) No thanks.

    I couldn’t watch the second trailer beyond the first 20 seconds but I’m not sure why people find Ryan Gosling so attractive. I know looks are subjective, (Seriously, I know…..I had a thing for Kevin Spacey after I saw ‘The Usual Suspects’), but RG seems a little bland to me. And on the same note: Jake Gyllenhaal.

    • I agree with you about Jake Gyllenhaal, and I also have about 50 names to add to the ‘bland’ list (Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Richard Gere, Ian Sommerhalder, etc etc). Ryan Gosling though, is really gorgeous. But I can totally see where you come from, though. When he doesn’t have a beard, I’m curiously apathetic.

      • Wow, that’s MY list. Also, Tom Cruise*, Mel Gibson*, Gerard Butler…. And how sweet that you even thought of Ian Sommerhalder; you must be a ‘Lost” fan.

        *Even Pre-Crazy.

        • Yes, I’m a Lost fan and I remember everyone being all “Boooooone” and me being all “meh” (Sayid, on the other hand, was definitely my type).

          TC, MG and GB are on my list, as well. I just have no idea why people used to like them so much. Oh, and I totally had a crush on Kevin Spacey, too.

    • Have you seen Half Nelson? Cause I didn’t get it before I saw it. Notebook, meh, but crackhead, yes. Like, crack addiction and all, still yesssss.

      In other words – Half Nelson is to Ryan Gosling, as this gif is to Sam Rockwell:

    • Ryan Gosling has charisma. That’s what makes him sexy.

  22. I seriously can’t wait to see Blue Valentine (obvs.). The trailer makes my heart hurt so.

  23. There is a difference between the stupid made up problems of affluent white people, like in The Kids are Alright (which I nominate for the WMOAT), and the genuine relationship problems of less than affluent white people, which Blue Valentine seems to be about. I guess what I’m saying is I’ll give Blue Valentine a chance.

  24. So let me get this straight… this Restless movie is basically Fight Club with no fighting and also super sad?

  25. I see you KRISTY THOMAS

  26. For some reason getting an NC-17 rating made me want to see Blue Valentine a lot more than before.

  27. Every day I go watch strangers play soccer. With a dead Asian dude.

  28. Hey, it’s the creepy guy from Wedding Crashers who tried to do the gay sex with Vince Vaughn! And a girl that looks like his sister!

    Why do movie white people always drink so much coffee? Do I fail at being white because I’m not constantly caffeinated?

    Ugh, Ron Howard, stop being involved with emo movies and make the Arrested Development movie happen already.

  29. so movies about white people are lame and movies about poor people are lame. glad to know it!

  30. I hate this. But I know that I will end up seeing both of these and cry myself to sleep.

  31. The titles for these should be “Being White and ATTRACTIVE is hard” because, really, when you’re white and you don’t look like these cool kids shit gets pretty hard. Now then, I’ll go back to doing work at my cushy job instead of doing what I want to do – wearing skinny jeans and making a sexy quirky indie girl fall in love with me, and then having it fall apart so I can listen to Elliott Smith as I wistfully stare at he New England fall out of a train window (and no, I’m not being sarcastic, that’s my dream).

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.