I made you a card for you on your 42nd birthday, Hugh Jackman.

Hugh Jackman Birthday

And I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but expect a package from the Dry Pants Store sometime this week. (Hint: it’s pants with NO pee in them! AS A PRESENT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY! That’s the surprise!*)

*LEGAL NOTICE: In the event that Hugh Jackman is reading this, Videogum reserves the right to change or cancel any orders from the Dry Pants Store without notice.
Comments (51)
  1. Today is also Notsewfast’s birthday! Happy birthday, little guy!

  2. Urine for a wonderful day with family and friends! Save me a pee-ce* of cake!

    *I’m sorry.

  3. All I know is that I am not clicking the “pee pee time.” video linked from myspace.

    • I think somebody needs to. It won’t be me, clearly, I enjoy not having vomit in my mouth. But SOMEBODY needs to take one for the team. Joe Mande, where are you?!

      • I made it 14 seconds in before remembering that pee is gross and that I want to keep my job. Still, I challenge anyone here to do better. Succeed where I have failed, monsters! God speed.

        • Psh. Jobs are overrated. The best reason to have one that I’ve found so far is that you get to spend more time on Videogum, because if you are homeless and unemployed, spending time online, instead of out in the real world, is extra sad.

          • I cannot argue with that logic. And I also feel that I should send you a scarf.

            On the awesome, cheery side I am forever branded with Link’s cheery visage!

            #ifitmakesmehappyithastomakeeveryonehappyright?

          • Branded in memory or branded in ink? And yes, whatever makes one person happy should ever and always make everyone else happy. I don’t think that logic has led anyone astray, ever.

            Scarfs are rad. And if I don’t end up leaving VT again, scarfs are useful.

            This has helped me decide what to wear today, maybe. I have a t shirt with the Hyrule crest on it, given by the friends (former landlords) who are letting me live in their house (don’t know what to do with the former tenant who moved all his stuff upstairs into their house and when questioned about it, responded with, “No, it’s cool, don’t worry about it.”)

      • I clicked on it but my boss came over to my desk and said “Urine trouble!”

        I’ll see myself out.

  4. My favorite scene in Blade trinity is where Ryan Reynolds (playing Hugh Jackman) says to Wesley Snipes:
    “I can’t go in there, they’ll kill me”
    “Man, *I* will kill you, muthaf*****.”

    Now, replace the word “kill” with “pee on”.

  5. Let’s get it started!

  6. Nice of Bing to pretend that you can search for Hugh Jackman OR Pee like they’re two separate topics.

  7. He’s pretty.

  8. People in OLD houses shouldn’t throw OLD stones (GABE!).


    #wisdom

  9. This joke just tinkles me.
    I mean tickles me.

  10. I would like you to dance! (birthdaaay)
    Pee your pa-pa-pa-pants! (birthdaaay)
    I would like you dance! (birthdaaay)
    Pee!

    “Birthday” – Pee PeeCartney and the Peetles

  11. This joke makes me a Ha-Pee Panda.

  12. Hugh Jackman is an old man now, so he can pee his pants whenever he wants, without shame. Piss away, Piss Peeman.

  13. I didn’t know Hugh Jackman had a talking nipple!

    P.S. – Pee

  14. Also, happy 112th birthday to your fossil of a wife!

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