
After your boyfriend, Andrew Shirvell, took a leave of absence from the Michgan Attorney General’s office, you probably never thought you’d find anyone that you could love so much and be so devoted to ever again. But it’s like they say: when God closes an Andrew Shirvell, He opens a Jennifer Lynn Petkov. In addition to being your full-time lover, she is also grown woman in Trenton, MI, accused of harassing a 7-year-old girl with a degenerative brain condition. From WJBK:
TRENTON, Mich. – Her family says 7-year-old Kathleen Edward is in the final stages of a degenerative brain disorder diagnosed as Huntington’s Disease – the same disease which killed her mother, Laura, when she was only 24.
A neighbor who is feuding with the family admitted to posting grim depictions of Laura and Kathleen on Facebook, and also has a coffin hitched to a pick-up truck in front of the house – which the neighbor says is for a halloween decoration.
One photo depicts Laura in the arms of the grim reaper, while the other features Kathleen’s face above a set of crossbones.
“I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for harassing a 7-year-old girl with a degenerative brain condition.” — You
Obviously, that is horrible. A grown woman using Facebook to post deeply insensitive photographs about a child who is dying is insane and upsetting and oh, hello, 2012. BUT WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THIS FUCKING CUNT (who you date and love) ACTUALLY OPEN HER MOUTH!
Good God. Someone run to Meijer and pick up a family-pack of JAIL CELLS. What a horrible human being! And yet the worst part is that she is definitely a human being. Weird. They come in all shapes and sizes, I guess, even the most horrible shapes and miserable sizes. Please join the Jennifer Lynn Petkov Is Downriver Trash group on Facebook! Let us show her how the Internet works. (Thanks, for lack of a better term, for the tip, Chris.)
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“I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for harassing a 7-year-old girl with a degenerative brain condition, but I would kick her out of bed to have her make me a ham sandwich.”–Me
At least we look good in our matching sweaters
At least we deserve each other.
At least we are personally satisfied.
Classic liberal, bleeding heart journalism.
I’m surprised this was on Fox news!
This woman is fairly unbalanced.
Oh Mans, if ever I break up with Jennifer…
“What a disturbing story, thank you Ron” indeed
Well, I made it to 1:48.
Normally I’d try and provide some witty commentary, but instead:
Fuck you Jennifer Lynn Petkov, no really.
Seconded, motion carried.
Ummm, yeah. I think I need to dump my girlfriend. Besides I am tired of sharing her with that other asshole.
I was surprised that they actually showed the little girl, who looks fragile and beautiful, making this horrible mess, even horribly messier…. I mean, what the hell is the feud actually about? It can’t just be about a brain disorder, can it? Am I just too naive???
2012 OR Assholes indeed, Bing.
Best. Bing. Ever.
It’s cool that she’s decorating for Halloween because she’ll get lots of trick-or-treaters for sure!
I think she’ll be impressed by my Arsonist costume. And, since everything I do there will be in keeping with the spirit of Halloween, she shouldn’t have a problem with some of my very realistic props and spot-on characterization.
When someone tells me that I shouldn’t “hate” anyone, I’m going to direct them to this video.
“Oh my lord, what a cunt” – The Pope
This is awesome. Very witty (!!!).
From the facebook group comments: “Arent these the same people that run around in a H3 hummer that has a bunch of SONS OF ANARCHY crap on the back window ? Seen running around in the city of Riverview.”
YIKES! That’s your mode of transportation.
Well, you know what they say, a crazy, horrible, insane person who should probably be in jail on the streets, but a freak in the sheets!
“Hello Jennifer, would you like a job?” -Seth MacFarlane
This makes me so happy.
She may be my girlfriend, but she’s your daughter, Gabe. Don’t hold your breath for that father of the year award.
Gabe is your future father-in-law.
Checkmate. I guess that’s why you’re the principal!
Haha yes, now sit on the principal’s lap…
Hello?! Stick to the theme! Hello!?
“Gabe don’t know nuthin’ about raisin’ no child.”
-Roger Ebert
Can we get a post about someone from Michigan who’s not a nightmare? I swear, my home state isn’t entirely made of assholes launching completely inexplicable internet attacks against innocent people.
I’m from Michigan.
I’m from Michigan, too
I’m from Michigan.

You didn’t seem to get my sly little joke, That One. As you remember, we “fell out” last week, with acrimony. So when you said “my home state isn’t entirely made of assholes launching completely inexplicable internet attacks against innocent people” I thought it was a good time to announce where I’m from.
I might be moving there early next year! I am very concerned for what it will turn me into.
Don’t worry That One, Stevie Wonder is from Michigan:
what part of the mitten, facetaco?
TACO WHAT??
Facetaco, it’s going to turn you into a walking taco! A walking taco!!!!!!
http://micuisine.com/lunapiercook/?p=599
also from michigan. but grand rapids, so here it’s all art prize awesomeness right now. west side, bitches!
That’s the part of the mitten I might be heading out to. I would say keep your fingers crossed for me that it works out, but it’s hard to cross your fingers when you’re wearing mittens.
if you’re going to live in michigan it’s pretty much the place to be. i can suggest some cool places if you make the move.
I will just ask people where I can find the guy with the ironic mustache. That should lead me to the cool places.
Eg, the giant button statue. I’ve never been to Michigan, but of course everyone knows about Grand Rapids’ world-famous giant button statue.
You know that thing you do with your fingers that makes a “W”? I’m doing that right now, because Grand Rapids!
Grand Rapids! You Grand Rapids monsters should go to Grand Central Market downtown, because it’s pretty damn awesome.
This isn’t a post exactly, but it is about someone from Michigan who is not a nightmare.
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=gabriel+delahaye
more like a dreamboat, amirite ladies??
Gabe that does not look like the most secure way to hold Birdie, don’t drop her
Please Birdie, don’t die.
This should win Monsters Ball this week. Let’s make this happen.
Shiba!
I was wondering where that regional Meijer joke cropped up from!
meijer: where you can still ride a mechanical horse for a penny. A PENNY!
Meijer where I can grocery shop at 3 in the morning and not feel weird!
We call it Meijer’s. Everything has to have an ‘s in Michigan. Kmart’s. Ford’s. Target’s. The first stores were called Meijer Thrifty Acres but I didn’t know that word, I thought it was “Fifty Acres.” Because they were one of the original “big box” store chains.
I only very recently explained to my mother that it is indeed just “Meijer”. No possessive. I had to show her on the grocery bag. She’s been shopping there for thirty-five years.
Where else can I buy a comically large container of Kraft Parmesan Cheese and a palette of Ramen noodles for $5?
I’m so drowning in my Michiganderness that I totally didn’t even realize that regional shoutout! My Michigan brain was just like, “Yup, Meijer, went there yesterday.”
Whoa, hi guys. I am also from Michigan! Quick poll: did anyone else learn the “Tulips Are Blooming in Holland, Michigan” song with corresponding dance when they were in elementary school? Or was it just me? So far no one I’ve met from MI knows what I’m talking about but I still remember the dance and I’m just looking for someone to battle with.
Just you.
OH MY GOD FLASHBACKS.
Also from Michigan. And clearly, there is still plenty of misery there. Thank God I got out when I did.
Kristen Wiig is so mean.
ahhhh! you beat me! curses!! however, this is all the more reason why SNL MUST turn this into a sketch. it’s just too retarded. the girl practically writes the whole thing for you in her interview.
“Because it rubs her ass the wrong way.” – Chief Ambassador for Humanity, Jennifer Lynn Petkov
4Chan is already revving the vigilante justice engines, but I think that we at Videogum can focus efforts on the other end. A local toy-store is raising funds for this little girl (and other dying children in the area), to shower her (and them) with toys and love and support. You can donate here: http://treetowntoys.com/
More info about the support effort is here.
I’m donating something for sure, because it gives me:
2012? That’s being a little generous, don’t you think?
According to ZoomInfo she’s only 33.
Funtastic, I apologize if this is too forward, but may I give you an e-hug? Or at least an iFive?
I have made a donation. Cool store! (no videogumo)
Total donations in just three hours: $842.86. Awesome. All excess funds are going to a local children’s hospital, so let’s hope that number keeps climbing.
Current donation status: $6,208.95
Thank you for posting this, it feels good to be able to do something proactive instead of just shaking my head and wishing for 2012.
“I disapprove of what she says, but I defend to the death my right to fuck her.” Voltaire Petkov.
This video makes me all warm and fuzzy because these are just the type of people I grew up with in rural Connecticut. Jennifer Lynn Petkov may not be my girlfriend, but she’s DEFINITELY a chick I went to high school with.
another shitty day for my beloved state. sigh.
She’s like a very bad Dee Reynolds impersonator.
Jennifer Lynn Petkov, will u B my second wife.

I once wrote in a story about a boy with “cornflower hair” in Jr. High (I think) and got a -1 and the teacher wrote in “cornflower colored hair” and it was all because of this bitch.
Ugh, teachers being all petty about grammar instead of letting you be great. “Cornflower hair” is perfectly legitimate!
This demon, however, needs to return her Human Impersonation License and go back to hell.
The Boy Who Literally Had Cornflower Hair by caseanate (A+!)
Totally! Cornflower hair is much more poetic and I think e.e. cummings would agree.
Saving this awesome gif for laterz.
You guys know that show on ID called Deadly Attraction? Well, I have a feeling we will be seeing my girlfriend and her boyfriend on it in the near future. I wouldn’t be surprised if they like to go on crazy murder sprees instead of dates. Seriously, these people are psychopaths.
“That’s cold.”
-Hitler Petkov
thanks for those words of wisdom, marjory.
Between the racist grandma and this cock guzzling thunder cunt (thank you Ryan Reynolds, Blade:Trinity), I think I need a Guinea Pig Chaser:
I have no idea what “Downriver trash” means but it is now my go-to insult.
term detroiters use to refer to cites south of detroit. it’s redundant, really
I live in trenton, there is no term downriver trash, thats just meant for petkov, the term is just downriver, most of this area is upper middle class to wealthy, we live off the water and back in the old days the barges would come into detroit to unload, when they did huge amounts of rats would come off the ships and float downriver and drown, so the term was “downriver rats” , when the rats disappeared years later the term downriver stuck.
There is such a term as downriver trash as well as downriver rats. I grew up in Rocehster/Troy and its all we would here about the downriver area. Sadly I had to move down here for my career and I see that it is true. The style of life is so different here. Nothing I have ever seen before. People are so trashy and have no class whatsoever. I would leave if I could, hopefully someday but I need my job. Downriver trahs refers to those trashy people and downriver rats is coined to term the rats, i.e slutty girls that reside in downriver.
TRENTON MAKES, THE WORLD TAKES

Let me help you with that:

That’s the “better” Trenton! This Trenton doesn’t have any black people, or hope.
People like this make me wish I believed in Hell.
“In other news, a historic accord was reached today between the adherents of all of the world’s religions and every atheist and agnostic on the face of the planet to recognize the existence and nature of an all-consuming, sulfur-reeking HELL for the express purpose of providing long term housing for a Ms. Jennifer Lynn Petkov and her husband. When reached for comment, God said, ‘It just makes sense. It felt like the right time, and we were able to get everyone on board with this one. I am very excited.’”
Awesome Mans. I wish I could upvote this all day.
probably one of my favorite videogum comments of all time.
Oh – but there IS a Hell…I live there!
really, I live in Hell.
Hell, Michigan.
And “Jenny” aint here
We WOULDN’T HAVE HER
Used to live very, very close to Hell. Just sayin.
IT’S FRIDAAAAA…..oh…..oh this woman exists.

I JUST saw this film. Also, I’m sure Jenny Petkov is a nice woman when you get to know her. We don’t know both sides of the story here. Fox was very slanted (as per usual) with the way they reported this. My guess is that the 7-year old girl with a degenerative brain condition is a Nazi and Petkov is a Jew.
Oh wait, even then it still wouldn’t be justified. Nevermind.
From the article:
“A member of Kathleen’s family says the bad blood started about two-years ago after the two families had a falling out over a birthday party at the Rose house. At the party kids were using a “bounce-house” and playing games in the front yard. The source says that Jennifer Petkov texted someone in the Rose family, asking if her kids could come to the event. A response to the text did not come quickly enough and it angered Jennifer. According to the Rose family, she’s been harassing them ever since.”
Absolutely, great reason for taunting a dead woman and a disabled little girl. Very reasonable. There is nothing worse than missing out on the “bounce house”.
Oh great. They’ve procreated.
They always do…
She would invite herself to a party.
Hey, bounce houses are no joke. You land wrong in one of those suckers and WAM, you’re limping to your next charm class/cross-burning at Courtney Love’s house. You’ve got to jump cautiously.*
*Unless said jumping is off a tall building.
Ann Coulter has really hit the skids lately…
Coincidentally my girlfriend suffers from Cuntington’s Disease.
More upvotes! This must make it to The Ball!
That’s Your (Probable) Meth Wife.
Someone better forward this to NASA. Because we stumbled upon a black hole we can study. Its in Jennifer Lynn Petkov. More specifically, where her heart is supposed to be.
Paging Katydid!
On Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend, I will be thankful that I am no longer the boyfriend of Jennifer Lynn Petkov. It wasn’t her, it was me.
She reminds me of Dee on Sunny. But…worse. And Dee has done some shit in her time.
That is awful…kids are not fair game EVER! (except star wars kid, we can still make fun of him all we want)
Even I was surprised that she’s from
NEW JERSEY.
*cringe & hiss*
Its Trenton Michigan. But I still have to cringe and hiss whenever someone says “That State”.
I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out.
<—kinda wishses there was really a Hell
What a bitch. I’ll definitely be rooting against her when she gets asked onto “Dancing With the Stars”.
I don’t whether to laugh or have an aneurysm.
We have Huntington’s in my family, and it’s horrible. The idea that this lady could be so self absorbed to not realize what a living nightmare she is, making fun of a dying 7 year old, just makes me want to burn her house down using her as kindling.
If you guys have a dollar to spare, consider going over to http://www.hdsa.org and donating.
I am from Trenton, Michigan, and when I logged into Facebook five minutes ago I probably saw at least 15 people from my high school post this video. Knowing the people of Trenton, they are going to run them out of town in no time, thank goodness.
For the record, if you google Jennifer Petkov, you’ll see she is from Taylor, Michigan. If you’re from Downriver/know Downriver, that explains a lot. Was she holding a Coke Zero? I’m surprised it’s not a Busch Light.
Was it a Coke Zero, or was it a Monster Energy? Either way: of course it was.
Naturally! People think I started drinking PBR because it’s a hipster thing to do, but I am all “Bitch please…I’ve been drinking PBR since elementary school. That’s how we roll Downriver” and then I slap them with the back of my hand. Any good Downriver girl knows the back of of the hand never leaves a mark.
Wow, I have seen some stupid people talking before, but this a$$hat is a whole new level of crazy.
We also lead the nation in unemployment!
Suicide pact?
I think we need a Michigan Videogum Pizza Party to rectify this situation.
Something about being around kids today makes me not want to talk about this horrible excuse for a human being, and instead discuss how insanely adorable that little girl is. I’m really sad for her.
If I wasn’t already married, that would so be my girlfriend. Uggh… you guys just don’t get her. She’s really great when it’s just the two of us.
It’s like she’s smoking meth with ground up demon in it.
I hear it’s hard to get it pure in MI
This is my favourite comment so far.
It’s always weird when you come across a human being so reprehensible, you actively hope they suffered debilitating abuse as a child, just so you can summon some vague understanding that, perhaps, under a perfect storm of terrifying cruelty during a person’s formative years, they could grow into an actual monster that lacks even rudimentary human emotions.
But then again, Jaycee Duggard does not appear to be fucking with dying children, so mostly this woman is just a hellbeast and should probably be put down.
(Not unearthed by me, but…priceless.)
How she met her husband, via her cached myspace blog:
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 OUR STORY…Current mood: accomplishedCategory: Romance and Relationships
IF YOUR INTERESTED:AUGUST 2006, AFTER DAYS OF ASKING I DECIED TO GO OUT TO THE BAR WITH MY SISTER-IN-LAW….ON THE WAY IN , I WAS JUST ABOUT RAN OVER BY A HEAVELY DRUNK MAN..THIS WAS SCOTTY… GAVE ME A HUGE HUG AND USED HIS POPULAR PICK UP LINE “HI MY NAME IS SCOTT AND I DRIVE A HUMMER, YOU WANTA FUCK”.I WAS MARRIED AND TOLD HIM NOT INTERESTED..
THAT STILL DIDNT STOP HIM FROM ASKING MY SISTER-IN-LAW FOR MY PHONE NUMBER…A FEW WEEKS LATER MY SISTER-IN-LAW AND SCOTTY STARTED TO DATE..AND THAT MENT HE WAS AT MY HOUSE ALL THE TIME.. (SHE LIVED WITH ME) .
I ON THE OTHER HAND WAS NOT IN A HAPPY MARRAGE AND WITH IN A FEW MONTHS DECIDED THAT THIS MARRAGE WAS OVER…THERE WAS ALWAYS A GOOD CONNECTION BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US AND THE FACT THAT MY SISTER-IN-LAW WASNT REALLY THAT INTERESTED IN HIM, MADE IT REALLY EASY FOR HIM TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME…
DURRING THIS WHOLE TIME MY HUSBAND AT THE TIME AND SCOTT BECAME SOME WHAT FRIENDS…I USE THAT TERM LIGHTLY…
I MOVED IN WITH MY SISTER-IN-LAW AND SCOTT AND…WELL SHE MOVED OUT.
NOW WERE MARRIED NAD EXPECTING OUR FIRST BABY!!!!! DUE SEPTEMBER 16 TH 2008….
trevormail, I downvoted you.I don’t mean anything personal against you, but there is so much BLAHUGHWHATYUCKHUH? in that story that i am now dead inside. all i can do is downvote.
“I drive a hummer, you wanta fuck?” – Hey, I have a great idea, let’s all pretend this is the BEST thing to say, and then, like, never ever ever say it even in our heads, and instead, say charming and clever and kind things, and be excellent to one another. Ok, go!
i dunno, guys, let’s not jump to conclusions. i’m going to hold off on judgment until i have a little more context.
nevermind, context provided above. apparently this whole thing is over a birthday party and a fucking brinca-brinca? fuck this lady in the face with a rusty shiv.
This woman is awful. But Gabe, when you shout-type “THIS FUCKING CUNT” you sound like Mel Gibson on the phone and you make me want to stop coming here. And I like coming here.
In the UK (Scotland specifically) this is an affectionate term for the common man:
http://www.boxofficefootball.com/video-rangers-fan-swears-to-bbc-north-west-live-every-ct-will-get-along-with-each-other/
I think Cunt could be the new Lorry.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Relax, technojeremy.
haha, there it is. still good!
i am relaxed, i promise. i just thought it was weird to so passionately hate this woman for being cruel and insensitive and flippant about another’s suffering.
I kinda agree. Or at least understand what you’re getting at. It’s easy to hate this cunt. Super easy. Rarely is it ever so clear that a person is so terrible. It seems the whole point of this story is to have something we can all agree upon. Raging against people like this is kinda lazy (though very, very justified). It’s great that we can all agree that this is horrible, but so what?
I think she’s a truly horrible person; but at the same time I’m, like, hats off to you, ma’am. You’re really going to take it to the limit and break all the rules. You’ve turned shrieking nightmare garbage cunt into performance art. Fortunately, like most performance artists you won’t get the grant and you’ll die obscure, cold and alone. Or maybe not alone. Maybe you’ll die with Mr. Cool Pick-Up Line (see trevornail’s post) at your side. Much improved, I’m sure.
I don’t see why Coke Zero went to all the trouble, you barely even see the product towards the end. Good viral marketing, bad payoff.
My first response to someone as glaringly awful is to want to Cuisinart her into a fine paste on the Pulse setting and put little globs of that paste on different continents so that the little bits of her can’t use their wavy flagella to crawl back toward each other and regenerate while ominous music plays.
My second response, though, is to think: How awful is/has been her life, that she is driven to be this poisonous and evil and crazy in her head parts? What must her childhood must have been like (and yes, now is when Ann Coulter rolls her eyes and says ‘whiny liberals always blaming the childhoods’) BUT: Do you think this woman’s mother or caregiver got her up every day with a warm smile and some nutritious steel-cut oatmeal, sending her off to school with a bag lunch containing a Chocks vitamin in a tiny plastic container that showed she cared? I’m not specifically blaming her Mom. I just think somewhere along the line, shit went crazy wrong for this person to have turned into the Prancing Fountain of Hate we see before us today. Seriously, she makes me sad. She was someone’s baby once. Hopefully she wasn’t this hateful of a baby.
THAT HAVING BEEN SAID: I still feel a strong desire to hold her down and smack the niceness back into her…. that’s how it works, right?
P.S. If you feed Ann Coulter into the Anagram Maker you get Unclean Rot, Rectal Noun, Cannot Rule, and A Loner Cunt. That proves something. I’ll get back to you on what exactly.
Perhaps this is a person you don’t understand either
We should all be so lucky as to let heaven get a little more Jennifer Lynn Petkov.
I’m guessing she votes Republican because she’s concerned about the deficit.
Is it weirder that my girlfriend made those pictures, or she had pictures of the neighbors to make those pictures with?
There’s a coffin outside the house and someone inside the house needs killin’… How hard is it to connect those dots?
Wow. The world is awful and is full of terrible people.
At least if I keep drinking I’ll eventually die.
additional information: she is a juggalo…are we surprised?
She may be my girlfriend but thats not gonna stop me smothering her while shes asleep tonight.
“Smothering her…with kisses!” -You
Oh Michigan, it’s getting harder and harder to remember the good times:

I live just down the street from satan, i think i am going to clean my cats litter box out today and toss it on that bitches lawn later. I WILL BE gowing to the rally, it’s time we do something about these sociopaths that live around here, trust me she is NOT the only one.
Wow. Simply the worst. Attempting to understand how a person can get to a place where they could even consider doing this makes me nauseous. And apparently now her heart has grown three sizes and she’s apologized? Get me my dramamine.
Holy beans. I read this entire comment thread, and I didn’t hate anything about it.
Videogumshoes, you’re the best internet on the web.
What first attracted me to Jennifer was how practical (joker!) she is. When she gets to hell she won’t have to buy any new stuff. It’s not just for Halloween, people.
You really couldn’t find a cuter little girl with degenerative brain disorder to pick on.
It’s really hard to laugh about how horrible this woman is when the central issue here really is the fact that we live in a world where a 7-year-old dying for Huntington’s happens. It happens and then assholes bring it to the media by being creepy and terrifying. While I agree that this woman needs psychiatric help because she’s clearly nuts, I have a really hard time railing against her when all I want to do is say Fuck You, Huntington’s. Guys, life is so sad sometimes. Maybe I’ll just watch that guinea pig .gif some more.
Can we get a post about someone from Michigan who’s not a nightmare? I swear, my home state isn’t entirely made of assholes launching completely inexplicable internet attacks against innocent people.
http://www.acaiberryandcoloncleanse.org/
FOX News will probably award her the HUMANITARIAN OF THE YEAR award. She’s as fair & balanced as they are.