Internet Commenter

This is a repetitive point to make, so please forgive me, but I was just looking at the HuffingtonPost’s Entertainment page, and boy oh boy, you guys, this world. Obviously, it is chock full of news about Lindsay Lohan, which makes sense, but there are also two different stories about celebrities who have successfully lost 50-80 pounds (Hi, Drew Carey! Hi, Kirstie Alley!), you know, NEWS. But easily, my favorite link on that page right now is a photo gallery called “Kim Kardashian Eats a Lot of Ice Cream.” Hahahaha. I guess the point that I am trying to make is TGIF, you know? If we can’t hit the Internet’s off-switch and put it in the closet to gather dust, we can at least take a couple of days to rest our weary eyes and steel ourselves for what is to come (SPOILER ALERT: more of the same, forever). Have a great weekend, everyone!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the “real” Simpsons Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice:

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 concert_addict | Sep 20th Score:107

Congrats Wertrew:

But now I’m sad we wont see anymore Amelia nomination posts.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie: Next Round Announcements
#3 cakeordeath | Sep 22nd Score:118

Q: Gabe, where do you get your ideas?

A: Max.

Posted in: Hey, What’s Up With Topher Grace?
#2 werttrew | Sep 20th Score:142

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that Videogum is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of savaging pretentious films is alive in our time, who still questions the power of one sad man’s relentless campaign, tonight is your answer.

It’s the answer told by gifs that stretched around webpages in numbers this blog has never

seen; by rants which went on for three or four pages, many for the very most exhausting time in readers’ lives, because we believed that this time must be different; that our upvotes could be that difference.

It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, VforVgummers and not, disabled and not disabled—monsters who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of gif-lovers and gif-haters: we are, and always will be, Videogum Monsters who enjoy seeing bad movies disemboweled.

It’s the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a day when Amelia will get the trouncing it deserves.

It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this nomination for WMOAT, at this defining moment, justice has come at last.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie: Next Round Announcements

[Ed. note: OK! So, if last week was werttrew's week to shine, this week was clearly everyone else's week to congratulate werttrew on shining. So there you go. It is nice to see people being nice. Although I hope this doesn't turn into some kind of self-reflective comment cycle that ends up suffocating us all. Hi, werttrew!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 Steve Winwood | Sep 21st Score:-39
What if while she was dancing a bloody miscarried fetus plopped out of her dress?
Posted in: Bristol Palin On Dancing With The Stars, Of Course

[Ed. note: No comment at this point.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. note: Congratulations, Capu Flapu and the Spasmatic Pentagrams! You earned it.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

Patrick M | 1:10pm Score:2
I liked this show the first time I saw it… when it was called The National Spelling Bee
Posted in: Dear Outsourced, Please Kill Yourself

[Ed. note: It's called an homage. Look it up. (Incidentally this may be the first time in Monsters' Ball history where someone has tied THEMSELVES for Editor's Choice, because this comment from Patrick M was a very close second. Probably no need to award it, though, since it looks like it's clearly on its way to highest rated comment of the week/all time?)]

Comments (107)
  1. Hey guys! Don’t forget the Videogum Song Contest, which ends a week from today!

  2. I think I’m getting the hang of this “Videogum” thing…

  3. woozefa  |   Posted on Sep 24th, 2010 +4

    i dunno, man, my topher grace comment currently sits at minus 40…

  4. Hey guys come see my movie this weekend

  5. happy to be here. and happy Community et. al are back. They make Fridays even Friday-ier.

  6. I may also like monster sharks? Yes please!

    • Wait a minute, That’s not right at all…

      • Wow. This is just getting worse and worse. For a second, Bing was saying that I would also enjoy monster sharks, but now it’s not, so this comment makes no sense… Nice work, me. #itsbeenalongweekgum

        • I stared at that “Happy Labor Day” image for about five minutes, trying to get the joke, before I scrolled down.
          But before I did, I upvoted it, because I thought it must be so clever I just couldn’t understand it.
          I’ve had a long week, too.

          • I think we both need this:

          • OH MAN, the sight of guinea pigs makes me SO SAD. back when I was little my parents got my sister and I guinea pigs. Presumably both were male.I had a red one that I named Scuttle. My sister’s gray & white one was named Tusker. Turns out Scuttle was a female and BABIES! LOTS AND LOTS OF BABIES! IMMEDIATELY!!!

            We were all stoked, a larger cage was built, and many salad scraps were shared with the gaggle of guinea pigs we accumulated.

            Then, one turrible day, I came home from school to find Scuttle lying still in the cage surrounded by all her children. We tried to extricate her from the cage, but her teeth had a death grip BITE on the chicken wire the cages were made of. She was SO DEAD.

            As it turns out, the night before my dad had gone through the usual ritual of preparing our family’s dinner vegetables, and tossed the scraps into the guinea pigs’ cage. The problem was one of the things we had for dinner was potatoes, and potato eyes are POISONOUS, and although Scuttle was the first casualty, the other 12 GUINEA PIGS quickly succumbed to the potato eye poison.

            Long story short, a lot of shallow graves were dug that day, and we no longer owned any more guinea pigs.

            Moral of the story- if you own a guinea pig, don’t feed it potato skins. ANY other vegetable is totally fine to feed them.

  7. A round of Monster’s Ball for Patrick M. Dude killed it this week.

  8. Yay! Finally made it to Monster’s Ball without a Keanu reference. Thanks Doggie High Fives!

  9. Wertrew, how many times have I been given Worst Comment of the Week award by blogger-meister Gabesauce MacWeaksauce? Is it nine or ten? I have lost count and frankly I dont think it’s appropriate to constantly give me this designation. There are worse commentators.

    FYI: I am boycotting the Wall Street movie that you guys are seeing and I will host my own forum about the new Catfish movie. This chat will probably take place within the videogum conversation thread about the Wall Street movie. It will be like that novel The City and The City, where two cities separated by a inter dimensional rift in the space time continuum exist side by side but pretend not to see each other because of their laws and politics. Anyway, fuck wall street and DOUBLE butt fuck that Shia Laboof boy and his sloppy milk mouth competing with John Cusack in that regard. Do not see that movie.

  10. Explainer Guy, I just have to thank you again. This picture is really the closest I will ever come to being in Monster’s Ball!

    Also, all you other Monsters out there, I just want to thank you guys for yet another great week. Reading VG posts and all of your comments make me laugh and really brighten my day.

  11. Just of our curiosity what is the highest rated comment of all time? I feel like something recently was through the roof.

  12. Hey, I just got my first TV and my first computer (I Was raised by hippies), anyway what are some good TV shows, you seem like the cool kids on the internet . What should I watch?

  13. Hooray! My induction into the Ball!

    Thank you to my fellow monsters for your support. I am shamed to say that it took a lot of strategic downvoting of my competition, but I have learned that in the end, all that matters is your collective validation.

  14. What a week, you guys! I need to loosen up.

  15. My computer’s been in the shop for more than a week now, and after the initial withdrawal, I’ve started to not miss it any more. Of course all the OH NO I’M MISSING OUT anxiety is flooding back now that I’m on the computer at the library looking through old posts. Walkeen Phoenix [I refuse to even try to spell his name] did something?? Keanu Reevevs has a cupcake? The Government wants me gay?? These are all things I actually am interested in and want to read more about, no sarcasmo, because I like dumb things!

    So instead of doing dumb things with people that crack me up [hi monsters! I love you!] I’ve been reading Infinite Jest, which is fantastic. I think I’m missing out on discussing it with yall. I did have a great discussion with a couple of customers and my bookshop about it, which was fun.

    I’m about page 350, give or take a few footnotes. Let’s talk about it! It’s really good! The descriptions of depression and addiction are gorgeously clear and the examination of the nature of entertainment is interesting and also hilarious!

    • The two aspects of the book that really stand out to me–and I think I can say not a week goes by that I don’t ruminate one or both of these aspects from the book–are the descriptions of depression (particularly the suicidal kind) and the descriptions of AA (or NA) and how crazy it is and yet how it works. I often bore people with DFW’s observtions w/r/t these two things.

      I guess we can discuss this in more detail when Bookgum gets there, but that’s the stuff that really sticks with me, more so than tennis or the Entertainment or Canadian terrorists in wheelchairs.

      Fun Fact: The government is called O.N.A.N. It’s funny because it’s a masturbation joke.

      • In the Year of the Dove Trial Size Bar, Gov. Chritine O’Donnell of Deleware vetoed her state’s inclusion in O.N.A.N. because, you know.

    • I love Infinite Jest. Too bad it’s not up until half a year in the Videogum book club, I really need to re-read it when I’m not so drunk.

  16. And “Chritine” O’Donnell is of course the cousin of “Christine” O’Donnell, if you were wondering.

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