lohan_baby

Uh, remember a billion years ago when Lindsay Lohan was suing E-Trade claiming that the reference to a “milkaholic” TALKING BABY named Lindsay in an advertisement was supposed to be making fun of her? And how we all laughed and laughed? Well, as usual, the laughter has died, because e-Trade settled the case (when they should have rested it) and gave Lindsay Lohan actual money for this SHIT. From TMZ:

The terms of the settlement are confidential — but we’re told Lindsay’s team is “very happy” with the results … and sources say Lindsay got some cash out of it.

As we previously reported, Lindsay claimed the stock trading company violated her rights by featuring a baby character named Lindsay who happens to be the “milkaholic” other woman in a baby love triangle.

Lindsay’s high-powered attorney Stephanie Ovadia tells TMZ, “The case between Lindsay and E*Trade has been settled … there is no further comment.”

Seriously, E-Trade? You settled a completely ridiculous and specious lawsuit filed by an unemployable drug addict? Sounds like someone has shorted THEIR BALLS. (“Shorting” is a financial term that means “something, who knows?”) Lame. E-Trade FAIL.

Comments (47)
  1. Why didn’t this post’s headline have an “OR” tagged on the end? Someone please post adorable animal pictures to voice our disapproval of this news crossing our periphery. As for me, I’ll stick with this stupid pussy (presented in widescreen).

  2. More accurately, the banner pic should be E-Trade’s settlement vs. Lindsay’s nasal septum.

  3. To be fair, all she got in the settlement was a 3-pack of leggings and a promise from the E-Trade baby to visit her in jail.

  4. Well that’s the last time i work with those assholes. After this weekend, I have a new career lined up anyway.

  5. Well, we all know where the money from that settlement went — straight into the coffers of Amnesty International! Amirite?

  6. i heard the e*trade marketing department has now scrapped the “baby-in-a-meat-dress promotes equal rights for all babies in the sandbox” superbowl ad.

  7. Fixed:

    Lindsay Lohan is a stupid pussy.

  8. Pussens Gabriel, Pussens!

  9. Maybe she’ll use the money to turn her life around!

  10. Yeah, but who knows how much cash they got her. If I was able to extort burrito money from a company I would also be “very happy.” Shit, I’d even be “content” with rolled taco money.

  11. This just reinforces to me how good E-Trade is at telling people what to do with their money.

  12. Didn’t Lohan get sent to prison for E trade.

  13. In Lindsay’s defense, they deserved to be sued, they never clarified what they meant by “buy low, sell high.”

  14. I’ll leave this up to Mans for confirmation, but my limited understanding of the legal system and the business system leads me to believe that ETrade is being a smart pussy. Mans?

  15. I’m not sure why we should put any faith in some anonymous flack telling TMZ that Lohan is “very happy” about anything. This kind of shit gets realeased any time anyone settles any kind of lawsuit.

    I hate those commercials as much as anyone, but lets not go crazy here.

  16. There is nothing here that implies E-Trade paid anything in this settlement (unless I missed something). For all we know E-Trade could have agreed to provide a month of their services free of charge, or a gift certificate to Applebees.

    • Agreed. If you settle on shitty terms, just tell people you can’t talk about it but that you are “very happy” and it sounds like you won.

      “I love the Crispy Orange Chicken Bowl. I am very happy with this settlement.” Lindsay Lohan (1985-2011)

  17. I’m not saying E-trade brought us one step closer to 2012, but they certainly aren’t helping.

  18. In Lindsay’s defense, that e-Trade baby is kind of a dick.

  19. There are days when I question my decision to study law. Then there are days when I question my decision to get out of bed. This delightful cocktail of depressing and outrageous has made today both.

  20. Hey, cut E Trade some slack – they’re a bunch of babies! Their balls haven’t even descended yet.

  21. I wonder what her lawyer got out of this.

  22. Best. Headline.

  23. E-Trade is a gigantic asshole for putting that creepy annoying little snot on TV (although, as we know the advertising firm that came up with the campaign is really at fault).

    I HATE TALKING BABIES! KEEP ON SUING ‘EM LILO!

  24. In subsequent decades, law students will closely study the landmark case of Annoying Baby vs Annoying Baby.

  25. It wasn’t so much a goof on Lindsey Lohan as it was a spoof, and that’s what cost them.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.