Haha. WHAT A SCANDAL! “It’s so weird that a racist joke would be printed in a newspaper that operates out of what looks like an adult bookstore,” said no one. “I threw my iPad across the room in disgust!” no one added. Get it? Because of how people don’t read newspapers anymore? But it’s funny because you don’t really think of lower-middle-class white people in what is clearly an industrially ravaged Midwestern town using iPads? Snore. Seriously, though, this is my favorite non-issue in awhile. Some stupid piece of shit racist living in a tiny racist town publishing a racist joke in a garbage newspaper with a circulation of 400 is the reverse Ground Zero Mosque. It’s times like these that we’re all so sad that Air America died, I’m sure. (Thanks for the tip, Baby Friday.)

Comments (64)
  1. *cue “that’s racist” gifs*

  2. I like how most of the residents interviewed where basically like “Relax, he’ll be dead soon anyway. Hell, I’ll be dead soon. Let me live my golden years in racist peace.”


  3. roger sterling doesn’t get what all the fuss is about.

  4. It’s not just a little racist, is the best part. That is an extremely racist joke. Swing for the fences, eh?
    Ah, Minnesota. We’re just not there yet.

  5. When asked for comment, the mayor of Lake Crystal had this to say:

  6. “Well then, let’s paint the robots white!”

    “We already tried that.”

    “What happened?”

    “They all sat around kind of apologizing for a racist joke without admitting it was a racist joke and saying that things had been taken too far, if there was really anything to take in the first place, and we all joke like that so why should we get one guy in trouble just because he wrote it down in the newspaper, and please get that camera out of my face, liberal media.”

    ba-dum-ching.

  7. “Everyone has their own opinion when it comes to which races are superior to others.”

  8. I hate teh racissms,
    BUT
    This is better than MY local Paper.

  9. “Personally, I hate reading the newspaper because of all that black newsprint that get’s on ya! Badoom-Ching!” -Your Grandfather

  10. Somehow I am not surprised that Mr. Andopolis is straight up racist.

  11. “Everyone has their own opinion when it comes to politics.”

    - Racists

  12. If it’s such a non-issue Gabe, why do you continue to disseminate it? I’m here for the issues! #justsayin

  13. As a Robot American I can say this offends me very much.

  14. what’s an oli and lena joke?

  15. The editor of that paper also thinks black people don’t know how to read.

  16. Wait, so the robots are now out of work? :(

  17. I heard one of those robots is a Muslim. Just sayin’

  18. That’s my state! :(

  19. Nothing says big-city-slicker-reporter like wearing a coat over a jacket while the rest of the towns folk are in t-shirts and shorts. He’s what we call yella’.

  20. *Calls William Shatner to cancel vacation to Lake Crystal.*

  21. Damn you Minnesota! I’m from there, so its cool that I am damning them right now. And as a Swede/Scandinavian, those Ole and Lena jokes are racist as FUCK.

  22. “But seriously, folks, the caddies at Crystal Pines Country Club are terrible. Let’s think about some change.”
    -The next paragraph

  23. “During our time in Lake Crystal we never found a single person of color.”

    In the town’s defense, they did show a surprising degree of alacrity in organizing a search party to find said persons of color.

  24. “Lake Wobegon: Where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average… oh yeah and where everyone is a little bit racist.” – Garrison Keillor

  25. Unsubscribe.

  26. “And one of them think’s he’s the president of the United States.” Obviously this editor is at the top of his game.

  27. I got really nervous at first because he looks exactly like my grandfather. Is it racist that I now think all grandfathers look alike?

  28. “One Lake Crystal man told FOX 9, ‘It’s the kind of thing people would joke about in private, but not say in a public forum.’” This man gets it.

  29. “You’re out of the will, Lake Crystal.” – Minnesota, land of 9,999 Lakes

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  31. They should have painted the robots a shade of green that matched the golf course. That way they wouldn’t be distracting to golfers or receive new programming from the magic black paint.

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