You know that part at the beginning of Fight Club when Ed Norton is talking about what it tastes like to have a gun in your mouth? That’s what this feels like! “It tastes like crying.” Isn’t that what he says? Someone check IMDB Memorable Quotes. I’m pretty sure the verbatim quote is: “Having a gun in your mouth tastes like crying, like the tears you cry when you realize you’re about to have to watch a bunch of terrible movies on some kind of self-imposed dare you already feel like you have lost many times over. I’m Tylar Dordand, guys!” I remember.
So here we are. After hundreds of nominations, we now have our next eight movies. It used to be that each round was, like, 14 movies or something ridiculous. That’s ridiculous! So ridiculous. That is too many! The new system will have rounds of 8 movies, that way every two months I get a quick break in between, LIKE AN ADULT DESERVES. What do you think this is? ACTUAL PRISON? This is not actual prison. This is just VERY MUCH SIMILAR to actual prison. This guy knows what I’m talking about.
After the jump, the next eight films to be reviewed in the Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time:
- • Amelia
• Bride Wars
• The Pursuit of Happyness
• Nothing But Trouble
• Couples Retreat
• (500) Days of Summer
• Eastern Promises OR: A History of Violence (see below)
• American Beauty
After pnut earned the Lowest Rated comment of the week last week for his/her nomination of Eastern Promises, I was tempted to automatically include it in this round as a reminder to you guys that the whole point is that anything can be nominated, even something that you LIKE. But further in the comments, Steve Winwood nominated A History of Violence, and that set off an even longer pat of in-fighting between people who liked and people who did not like that movie. I’m guessing that the only reason he didn’t win Lowest Rated comment was because of people’s well-honed aversion to giving him attention. All of that being said, I will do one or the other, but YOU must CHOOSE. Which one would you rather (or better yet, which one would you rather NOT) see a post about? It’s like Sophie’s Choice! Minus the Nazis and the total annihilation of a sane person’s belief in the world as a livable society of human beings capable of rational and emotional thought.