Posted on Sep 15th, 2010 by Gabe Delahaye
58 Comments
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Oh boy. It gets better/worse. From the About page:
Life is busy. Who has time for dating? SaladMatch.com was designed for the busy young professional like yourself who lives a healthy lifestyle and is looking to get to know like minded individuals. While most dating sites match couples based on conventional interests like hobbies, work, or religion, SaladMatch links you with your salad soulmate based on which Just Salad location you frequent, when you frequent it, and what ingredients you love in your salad.
“Good grief.” –Charles Brown.
“I WANT TO GET MARRIED IN A BOWL OF VEGETABLES!” — You.
(Thanks for the tip, Mary.)
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I’ll think of a salad pun in a minute. Right now I gotta go take a leek.
I believe we can help you out here. Lettuce think about it a bit.
“Pepper? I ‘ardly know ‘er!”
Leafy to me, I can handle it.
OK, I’ll sit back and egg you on
Your attempts at cheap vegetable pun laughs have been entirely fruitless.
Maybe, but you don’t have to grape about it
Alright, we shouldn’t Russian to any harsh criticisms here. They may be cheesy, but there’s no need to grill us over it. Frankly, I don’t carrot doesn’t make you laugh.
I don’t want this debate to get off-collard but these are just to corny for me.
Taco Bell®. I did this right, right?
how did they miss the obvious “it was love at first bite”????
Alright, no need to give them a dressing down
Aw. You beet me to it.
I now pronounce you man and leaf
Crouton
No?
They cantaloupe, it would be fruitless.
You can find me on CabbageMatch.com, ladies!
(Hmm, this is my second plea 2 tha ladiez today. #desperate)
No thanks, let me know when the KFCDoubleDownMatch.com site goes up.
That’s basically just hanging out at the food court of a mall, waiting to see if someone needs a ride.
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Can I get an UGH salad for one, please?
would you like boo-tons on your salad?
What? If you want to hook up with people who eat kfc double whopper whatevers then you are going to be hittin’ some fatties. Just stating the facts objectively, brohams.
Hey, no disagreement there. But the fact you think people should be defined, named in fact, by what their sexual preference is offends me a little. Am I constantly telling you to change your name to Jessica Alba Chaser? No sir. I let you be.
Actually, the Double Down has significantly less fat than most fast food salads, though the amount of sodium would kill most living things not raised on eating mass-produced literal garbage. Just a little FYI for you there, friend.
Capu Flapjack, it is perfectly fine to call me a Jessica Alba chaser, although a more accurate label would be pictures of / dvds featuring Jessica Alba chaser
I just went on a tossed salad dating site, do not do that ugh my eyes
“Dating OR Salad”
Do I have to choose just one?
Obviously you would be choosing salad because YOU’RE TOO YOUNG FOR DATING, YOUNG LADY!!!
…phew, sorry about that. Things just got parental in here.
Your move Shirtless Karaoke Internet Dating Guy.
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I prefer my matches from SausageFest.com
Nomayomatch.com is a far more superior dating site. I prefer that my significant other hates mayo just as much as I do.
Hmmmm, I’m on Holdthepicklesmatch.com. Too bad — we coulda been somethin’.
Can we meet in the middle on extracheesematch.com?
That site is a knockoff of whatwouldcheesesdo.biz
“I can’t believe I used to go out without you.”
“…SaladMatch links you with your salad soulmate based on which Just Salad location you frequent, when you frequent it, and what ingredients you love in your salad.”
If you were constantly going to the same Just Salad location at the same time as someone else, and always ordering the same salad, don’t you think it would just be a matter of time before you would naturally meet? It just doesn’t seem like the internet is necessary in this case. #oldfashioned
If you are really desperate, just get behind someone in line that is really hot and copy their order and say, “Wow, you and I are a match made in salad Heaven. This never happens to me.” Create “fake fate.”
Exactly! Whatever happened to the time-honored tradition of just being a stone-cold creep?
No no, not “fake fate,” it’s called “Taking control of your own destiny” and there are many fine publications that advocate just that. You’ll find them on my bookshelf, covered in wine- and tearstains.
Wow, they even give you a free honeymoon in a town called Nilbog!
I wish I could upvote this until the end of days (i.e. 2012)
Do you get to roll around in an RV full of popcorn with a backwards-aging witch?
Ohhh my Gooooood. Sweet deal!
what am I missing here?
a vegetable dating site…is this where Terry Chiavo met her husband?
a vegetable dating site…isn’t that discriminating to fruits?
#jayleno
I can’t take this any longer.
#KevinEubanks
“Classic case of Fruit-blindness. That’s a dealbreaker!”
/Liz Lemon’d
A place where classic love stories are born. Like Romaine and Julienne.
I like my ladies like I like my salad—with dressing on the side. (Did that work?)
yes
of course Charles Brown doesn’t approve, he probably has Lachanophobia, not to mention Hypengyophobia. and lets not forget Climacophobia, although that one doesn’t apply here.
no wonder the little red-headed girl got away from him.
Some days I have a hard time remembering all the things Gabe says are mine. Like I think I have a whole lot of extra-creepy boyfriends who do weird stuff on Youtube that I don’t remember hooking up with, but I guess at least I know now that I must have met them on my dating site, SaladMatch.com.
Just Salad is forgiven because they have the Just Salad Signature, which has both bacon and apples in it, my two favorite things. It is my salad crack.
I like that they kept it very realistic by making all the employees people of color and the salad eaters white nerds.
corn with cleavage? i will not be registering.

But he will…