[In this feature, we will periodically check in to see what is up with Topher Grace.]

After Christine O’Donnell’s surprise primary win last night, she has been running today’s news cycle like Tony Magyver ran Seacrackers! This morning we learned about her cameo on a 1990s MTV special about sex in which she argued that you should never masturbate because the devil might come and put your head inside his special head bag made out of baby teeth (taken from the mouths of only the WORST babies). And now we have this gem, from TalkingPointsMemo:

It turns out that surprise Senate nominee Christine O’Donnell (R-DE), in addition to her long career in anti-sex and anti-masturbation activism, has also pursued another field of religious right work: Promoting creationism, and questioning the validity of science that says fossils are millions of years old.

As Dan Amira at New York magazine dug up, O’Donnell appeared in March 1996 on a CNN panel discussion with Dr. Michael McKinney, a professor of evolutionary biology from the University of Tennessee-Chattanooga.

At one point, O’Donnell provided this definition: “Well, creationism, in essence, is believing that the world began as the Bible in Genesis says, that God created the Earth in six days, six 24-hour periods. And there is just as much, if not more, evidence supporting that.”

Oh boy. “Just as much, if not more.” JUST AS MUCH, IF NOT MORE!!!!!! Here’s a question: do you think if all of us went to Delaware and jumped up and down at the same time that we could get the entire state to FALL INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN? (No offense to the 96.5% of Delaware residents who didn’t actually vote for Christine O’Donnell. Nevertheless, ENJOY THE OCEAN, BOYS!)

Speaking of American citizens of voting age who enjoy their own particular worldview as is their right, what is up with Topher Grace?

He was spotted on an airplane! No word on where he was going, but that’s definitely not any of our business. As an aside: I’ve actually been on a plane before (LADIES!). And one time I tried champagne. I GUESS CELEBRITIES REALLY ARE A LOT LIKE US! From B-Side Blog:

Eventually, after having navigated my way upstream back to my row, I found my seat and discovered I was seated next to an older Latina woman who I will lovingly name Esperanza. From the looks of it, Esperanza seemed quite fatigued, and I felt rather certain that I’d be in for a quiet and peaceful flight.

I happily settled into my corner by the window and waited for the plane to pull out of the gate. Around this time I spotted the obligatory celebrity on the flight: none other than Topher Grace, who apparently was seated somewhere back in coach, perhaps near my bag. Hopefully I stowed my carry-on properly because the last thing I’d want would be for Topher to open the bin midflight and have the TravelPro careen down onto his cherubic face. Then again, should that happen, I’d have great bragging rights.

I wonder why Topher Grace wasn’t flying first class? It could be because he is a MAN OF THE PEOPLE and it could be for a lot of other reasons. Mysteries are all around us.

Meanwhile, as you may have heard, this season of The Office will be the last for working actor Steve Carrell. And The State Journal Register of Springfield Illinois makes a pretty interesting analogy of what this might mean for the future of that popular show:

Television shows lose supporting players all the time — to death (Phil Hartman of “Newsradio”), spinoffs (Jennifer Love Hewitt of “Party of Five”) or a desire to do other work (half of the original cast of “M*A*S*H”).

But it’s far rarer for a show to survive when the first actor listed in the credits moves on. What would “Dallas” have been without J.R.? “Dawson’s Creek” without Dawson? “Everybody Loves Raymond” without Raymond?

Pointless, that’s what. (See “That 70s Show” after Topher Grace moved on.)

See That 70s Show after Topher Grace moved on, indeed.

And that’s about it for this week. You know, even someone in the spotlight like Topher Grace deserves to have some lowkey downtime now and again. In face, ESPECIALLY someone in the spotlight like Topher Grace deserves to have some lowkey downtime now and again. In the meantime, as always, That ’70s Show remains popular in syndication.

Send your Topher tips to tophergracenews@videogum.com. See you next time!

Comments (79)
  1. Christine O’Donnell masturbated to this article

  2. I went to Christian schools until grade twelve and learned about Noah’s Ark in Advanced Biology. I did not go on to become a scientist.

    • Too bad you didn’t learn about this dude’s Ark, That One.

      Who knows what you might have become…

    • In my Christian School I learned that it was a scientific fact supported by a large amount of faith and “feeling it”s from the G-man that fossils were put in there by the Devil to trick us. I now take 6 prozac pills after every meal for my paranoid schizophrenia.

    • I’ve gone to Jewish day schools all my life and I’m taking Physics taught by an Ivy League educated genius who is a huge boss and decided to teach science for funsies.

      My neighbors, on the other hand, go to a crappy very Orthodox school which teaches them Barack Obama is actually a Muslim and that they should go up to me and tell me that I’m going to hell for being an atheist. Very Cool. Very Science.

  3. Yes, Steve. This guy again. No, Steve. No one is doing “What’s Up with Jessica Alba.”

  4. No, she was just yanking your chain.

  5. I want to hit Topher Grace with my carryon if you catch my drift

  6. I am not sure what Christine O’Donnell’s definition of evidence is, but it encompasses the following thought:
    A single, mis-translated, 2000 year old book > the entire fossill record

  7. This is how a bee sees this site:

  8. I was going to vote for Christine O’Donnell, but there was just as much, if not more evidence that it would make me never stop barfing. I wrote in Topher Grace instead.

    • My mother works for the State of DE and has spent more than enough time around Christine O’Donnell. She is even worse in person than what you see in the media. Can’t speak in complete sentences, wears clothes like a slutty 12-year-old to public appearances, makes shit up (ok we knew that already), etc. My mom called me last night embarrassed for her state to the point that all she could do was laugh.

  9. I went to O’Donnell’s website this afternoon. It is just a donation button. Christine O’Donnell: Issues that matter.

  10. O’Donnell’s favorite part of science class was always the Old Testament.
    This guy knows what she’s talking about.

  11. Dude you have no fossils! – Christine O’Donnell running from CNN panel discussion with a handbag full of 65 million year old dinosaur bones.

  12. This is sort of weird? The part where she gets to name the Latina woman?
    I found my seat and discovered I was seated next to an older Latina woman who I will lovingly name Esperanza

    • That part was very weird. Was it racist? Not racist-racist, obviously, but racist? If I squint harder, maybe it’ll appear. or no, relax the eyes to see the racism?

      • Maybe she works at Ellis Island. “Janet? That’s no kind of name for an older Latina woman! From now on, your name is Esperanza.”

    • But it reminds me of the time when a young Christopher Grace lovingly named himself “Topher”.

    • Thank you for pointing that out. Why name the Latina woman? How did she know for sure that the woman was Latina anyway? Was she using the Arizona color chart?

      Brown=illegal; name at your discretion

    • Yeah, as soon as I read that I knew the whole article thingie was suspect. Also, why paint a little narrative of something that might happen between Topher Grace and your stupid bag in the overhead compartment? “Ooh, if my bag falls and hits his face it’ll be like I touched his face vicariously! Ooooh!”

      That reminds me of the time when i missed my flight at LAX and I was waiting in a long line when all of a sudden I saw Michael Cera get in line two people behind me, wearing that red stocking cap that he’s wearing in that pic that was posted on Videogum a while back and that I have photoshopped into various photos since. Anyway, the point is I jumped over the two people and hit Mr. Cera in the face with my bag. For reals. But I’m not going around and telling tales out of school! I don’t need any fucking bragging rights!

    • “Topher was seated next to a tall black man who I will lovingly name Tyrone. Walking past them to the bathroom was a stocky Jewish gentleman who I will lovingly name Feivel. Then I called for the flight attendant, a lovely Australian woman who I will lovingly name Crocodile Dundee.”

      - this reporter

    • Esperanza means “hope” en ingles, right?

      And hope was fatigued?

      Maybe it’s a comment on the state of politics? And masturbation? And creation? Si?

  13. Personally, I loved That 70′s Show’s Family, and I can’t wait for The Office’s Family.

  14. all he needs is a disguise and he can get all the much needed down time he wants…


  15. I don’t know, The State Journal Register, I thought Two and a Half Men was much better after the Cryer-Sheen suicide pact.

  16. Anyone else go “awwww” when that newspaper actually gave some credit to Topher? Or is it just me?

    I may be too sensitive to survive the Internet…

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