NIGHTMARE ALERT! NIGHTMARE ALERT! After the jump, I have posted a video taken from a helmet-cam of a worker whose job, every day, is to free climb to the top of a 1768 ft. transmission tower. This is just the normal morning routine of your standard BARF TECHNICIAN. “It looks like our barf is down and needs immediate barf maintenance. Put on your barf gear and barf up there so we can barf around and see what needs barfing.” I know the lingo. Anyway, this video is seriously disgusting. I hope the guy who filmed this video caught a stray gust of wind and got blown off the top of the tower and for a few seconds felt the same existential terror that I feel just watching it, and then landed on a puffy cloud and floated gently to the ground without a scratch on him, but despite being miraculously unharmed by the harrowing accident, was shaken to his core and realized that he needed to quit and pursue a more reasonable line of work. Now he is a cobbler! The world needs cobblers!

You guys, let’s all be so grateful today for the jobs we have. And if we are unemployed, which I know is frustrating and stressful and a source of constant self-doubt, let’s at least remember that at least we are unemployed in our homes and not unemployed on top of a 1768 ft tall transmission tower! (Via TheHighDefinite.)

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Comments (78)
  1. The internet has taught me to expect certain things. When the man didn’t fall, I felt a little cheated.

  2. Well considering my job is to hand wash all of Kevin Smith’s Jorts in Woolite every morning, I actually envy this guy.

  3. This is the tricky part…getting on top.

    TWSS

  4. Cool video, kind of a nice Aronofsky vibe. Also, STOP LOOKING DOWN.

    • Every single time he looked down I freaked out. My new greatest fear is some kind of elaborate scenario in which my kidnapper has me climb to the top of a transmission tower to await rescue.

      • Looking down was bad. What was worse was around 4:10, when he takes a couple seconds to change his hand hold, and it’s obvious that there’s not really any good way for him to hold on because THERE’S NO HANDLE FOR HIM TO GRAB, so he’s just looking for something, anything, to pull himself up, only where’s he pulling himself up to? THERE”S NO PLATFORM FOR HIM THAT’s JUST ANOTHER POLE. He climbed up a pole, and then there was another pole on top of it for him, only this time WITH NO HANDLES.

        I’m sorry you guys, I freaked out right there a little bit. I’m just going to go downstairs and lie down on the ground for a while.

  5. That’s your AC/DC music video (woof).

    I’ll show myself out.

  6. My boyfriend’s dad’s job at the Naval Shipyard was to climb up the giant cranes they use to work on ships, walk out to the very end of the lever, and jump up and down.

  7. Huh. I would’ve thought Seth MacFarlane would weigh more than 30 pounds.

  8. PUT THE BASE OF THE ANTENNA AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TOWER. PUT THE TOP OF THE TOWER AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TOWER, PLEASE. WHY ARE YOU EVEN GOING UP THERE? THAT TINY SQUARE AT THE TOP IS NOT MEANT FOR TWO PEOPLE.

    also, that fake crack of lightning was cruel & unnecessary, TheOnLineEngineer.org.

  9. I’m thankful for my job, which was going through and editing out all of the narrator’s shrieks of “HOLY LIVING FUCK” from the final cut.

  10. He’s got a better view than this:

  11. The whole time I was watching that it felt like my heart had to pee.

  12. Thick knits, retro hemlines, and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BELTS, JUST ONE BELT PLEASE are hot this Fall season.

  13. Way to rub it in that I don’t have a job, Gabe!

  14. Kevin Spacey really likes talking about transmission towers

  15. Man I thought I was badass for working on a roof without safety lines, guess not!

    Also, why can’t it all just be a ladder, and why no railings around the top!

  16. that made me woozy

  17. If God had wanted us to climb 1700 foot towers he wouldn’t have given us barf.

  18. The most disturbing part is the matter-of-fact tutorial-ish voiceover at the end “…and that’s how you climb to the top of a transmission tower.”

    Really?

    I wish Joyce, Hemingway, Matheson, Alan Moore or, heck, even Stephen King could write a 500-page novel that chronicled the inner mental workings of this climber, and finished it with “…and THAT’s how you climb to the top of a transmission tower.” Then, and only then would I solemnly nod and give that claim my approval, which it so desperately needs.

    They should use this as an educational video in Delaware schools, and tell teens that this guy used to masturbate a lot, and that’s why God gave him this job. That’d set ‘em straight.

    • I believe Nicholson Baker is working on that novel. (First comment, you guys! The video was took down by the time I got here but the screencap alone gives me the creeping heebie-jeebies!)

      • Posted before I saw Ning’s comment beow. I did indeed watch the whole thing, because I am a masochist, obviously. My question: really, OSHA? I have climbed for jobs (NEVER THIS HIGH jesus christ) and was under the distinct impression OSHA was happiest if I clipped in anytime above twelve feet or somesuch (even if the line + my height > 12 feet). But this is really cool with OSHA, says Narrator Guy. Learn something new every day.

  19. There are these things called aircraft, and some, such as helicopters, hot air balloons, and dirigibles can hover or remain stationary long enough for a person to be lowered from them. They’ve been around just before or since the turn of the 20th Century, and even designed earlier by thinkers like DaVinci in the 15th Century. Anyway, if anyone can get this information to these engineers, that would be great.

  20. Doctor: Do you by any chance have vertigo?
    Me: No.
    Doctor: Well, you do now.

  21. He needs one of these

  22. DON’T HOOK IT ON THAT PEG THAT HOOK’S BIGGER THAN THAT PEG IT’LL SLIDE RIGHT OFF OH GOD
    -Me, for the past 8 minutes

  23. Dear God will this ever END? Does he get to the top? Is there a top? Why can’t he look up and show us instead of looking DOWN all the time? So many questions, too much barf to find out. I quit.

  24. I laughed a bit to myself when the guy mentioned, “if there’s a storm coming, there’s no quick way to the bottom,” considering how the whole point of this video is the idea that there is a quick way to the bottom.

  25. The transmission tower fixing business is still back in the stone age while I use my hoverboard as an ottoman!
    They need to unionize or something. Demand change, guys! Robots should be doing your work by now!

  26. With my paralyzing fear of heights, this was basically torture-porn for me.

  27. At first I was like:


    Then I was like:

  28. My co-worker, unaware I was watching this video: “Jeez, rough day? You just have this look of disgust!”

    So, BARF, basically.

  29. If terminal velocity of a falling body is about 120-150 miles per hour (or roughly 175-220 feet per second), then that’s about 10 seconds to fall to the bottom. Just thought you guys would like to know.

  30. At first i was like “well I’ve got a fear of heights but its just a video, how bad could it be?”, but then he climbed HIGHER THAN THE SEARS TOWER WITHOUT ANY SAFETY LINES and I basically just had a heart attack for 8 minutes.

  31. Speaking of barf, it isn’t wise to eat before watching this. Trust me.

  32. better than 95% of the jobs in the world.

  33. My hands and feet are sweating profusely. Why did you make me watch this????

  34. I read the comments first and thought “how bad can this be?”

    Then at the 4:00 mark I was like “please god let him be done climbing!” when mr. narrator came in:

    “Now we’ve reached the base of the antennae – from here it’s just another 60 feet to the top!”

    and then my heart stopped working.

  35. No quick way down?? I would like to whole-heartedly disagree with this statement.

  36. I’m not that tech-savvy, so let me get this straight. Radios and cell phones work because each day someone climbs an infinite nightmare tower? Well, that explains that.

  37. Watch this in fullscreen IF YOU HATE YOURSELF

  38. Work or Yikes?

    No contest, Bing!

  39. so he’s up there…now what? What does he do up there to justify how dangerous this is? And why does it need to be done EVERY DAY!?!

  40. What they didn’t tell us is that every day once all the NIGHTMARE WORK is over they get to base-jump down to the bottom.

  41. Look I am a bit of a dumbass when it comes to internet videos, I click everything, and I was looking forward to this. Unfortunately it has been taken down by youtube due to copyright reasons and after an extensive online search(for like five minutes) it appears no one copied this video and this was the only version available.

    • I had the same problem. But I found this, which I assume is the same video: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81100201/

      • Thank you so much, I completely forgot about ebaumsworld.com #2001gum. Barf inducing no, but it is a good look at what it takes to enjoy the technology we take for granted nowadays. The only thing I thought about the whole time is don’t fall even though I knew he wouldn’t fall. After about five minutes I caught myself repeatedly saying take a break and harness to a video that I had no control of. If I ever meet this man I will buy whatever he wants in a Las Vegas club/bar.

  42. TheOnLineEngineer.org and it’s superfluous capital letters want you to see this in the theater or at the very least buy the DVD.

  43. Oh this got pulled from Youtube and I am sad. I bet it was horrifying.

  44. You guys! I have been out of work for over a year now (I’m a TV/film editor), and my unemployment insurance extensions ran out a couple months ago and I’m up to my neck in bills and credit card debt, all of which sucks and is depressing…

    But things are finally turning around! I worked on monday and they’re bringing me back in tonight and tomorrow! And I think this is going to lead to a regular thing!

    Anyway, just wanted to share that with you guys because Videogum has been an oasis of comedy and friendly discussion in a wasteland of hopelessness and fear (Los Angeles).

  45. You can skip to the 2-min. mark to jump straight into the bad stuff.

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