Some new asshole (as opposed to the old asshole) tried to burn a Quaran this weekend, because it’s 2010, and the world has existed for long enough, time to tear it to the ground in a shrieking nightmare of hatred and fear. But then another guy, also kind of an asshole in his way, but also probably an American hero, who you are dating and are in love with, took the Quaran away from the first asshole and RODE AWAY ON HIS LONGBOARD. On his way to the shirt store, I’m guessing. But he didn’t leave without delivering a classic parting shot:

Hahahaha. So pitted. (Via Towleroad. Thanks for the tip, Steven.)

Comments (75)
  1. Wait, we are burning Quarans? What the hell am I supposed to do with all of this Quinoa? SPELLCHECK PEOPLE!

  2. And yet my burning of Dianetics doesn’t even get me LOCAL press coverage. This shit is racist!

    • I walked past the Scientology church in the north side of Chicago on Saturday and anonymous was protesting outside it. It was kind of sad that this one huge policeman was lecturing them on how to properly protest and the 7 kids who showed up sounded like kids who wanted to stay up past their bedtime. …wait but I like you guyz! #don’thurtme

  3. Dude seems pretty radical to me.

  4. I cut my boyfriend’s hair myself. What do you think?

  5. “I heard Obama made it illegal for that man to burn the Quran which is a direct contradiction of the Second Amendment. But what do expect from a Muslim?”
    -America, sadly

  6. I’m glad to see the Dude, You’re Getting the Dell Guy is doing something with his life/still saying his catchphrase.

  7. Did your boyfriend use his 20 roll to power up and snatch that Quran?

  8. You can tell that David Green is very devout because of his soul patch.

  9. I keep telling my boyfriend to stop stealing my Grandma’s glasses. He never listens.

  10. Geez, leave that guy alone. He wasn’t trying to make a religious statement – everyone knows grilled Koran is a delicacy.

  11. I used to skate. Had a Christian Hasoi (sp?) board, fish tail shaped with rail guards and a tail guard which were these little plastic things that you would screw on to the wood to keep the board from getting shredded. This was back before they made skateboards straight with flipped up tails in the front and the back. If it had been me in this video I would have held on to the back of a car as I sped away, put my walk man ear phones in to my ears in order to rock out to some Huey Lewis and the News tunes.

  12. what’s the big deal?

  13. Someone should make a Quran out of those trick birthday candles so we can keep this thing in the news cycle FOR EVEN LONGER.

  14. i must be the time traveler’s wife, b/c how did that guy get here from 1982?

  15. There, I fixed it. #shittyMSpaintskills

  16. He’s just being existential, does anyone really have a Quaran?

  17. Terry Richardson’s little brother is all about religious tolerance.

  18. Gotta love Spike Jonze and his kooky publicity stunts!

  19. other possible suspects:

  20. If only Unitarian/Universalist skaters could solve all of our problems.

  21. Hey, Jacob: Emo Phillips called, he wants the top half of your head back. Oh, and Jeffrey Dahmer’s old mugshot called, it wants your lower face back.

    • This has potential, but you mixed up the pronouns. At least I think. Wouldn’t Emo want the top half of HIS head back? And wouldn’t Mr. Dahmer want HIS lower face back?

      - Internet Grammar Inspector, Badge #54.

      • Do you know the pronoun “you”? As in, “Fuck you”? Not only am I a comment artist, I am a professional copyeditor by trade. I know what I’m doing. But thank you for playing.

        • I actually signed up to comment because yours is an explosion of wrongness and arrogance that forms a shining supernova of douchebaggerry. You have to use “his” or it doesn’t make sense. And learn how to take a joke dude. If you’re really a copyeditor you have some rules to go back over.

          • Why don’t you learn how to take a joke, “dude”? You and xaa over here. All I was saying was I purposely twisted the ownership in my original comment, to be a little different, and I don’t need some lunkhead unpacking my own little joke for me and then scolding me?
            You should probably just delete your account here straightaway and get one at Literalgum.


  23. Is that the Eye of Sauron behind the initial anchorwoman?

  24. “He was like ‘I’m gonna burn this Quran,’ and then I was like, ‘You dick!”

  25. Ain’t no hipster like an Amarillo hipster, cuz an Amarillo hipster don’t let people burn the Qur’an

  26. ‘Dude, you have no Jews” – Oscar Schindler.

    Too much? Eh, sue me.

  27. Did anyone else think it was kind of weird/hilarious that he was going to burn it in one of those silly little park grills?

    • One of the other zealots brought the burgers and brats. They were going to tailgate for the Amarillo Gorillas hockey game after the burning. Until that dirty hippie ruined everything.

  28. To quote the wisest sage of our time:
    Homer : Well, not the Unitarians. If that’s the one true faith, I’ll eat my hat.

  29. They should have burned Fahrenheit 451 because that’s just good clean ironic fun.

  30. The writing in this post reminds me of Kiefer’s dialogue:

  31. I don’t know about “boyfriend,” but I’d maybe let him let me smoke all his pot.

  32. Are you serious? Couldn’t get to see the video because the account is not longer available. Anyways, What I do know is that if you want to share HD videos while hooking up, well there’s only one app that allows you to do that. Download GuySpy and start showing off.

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