Don’t you hate it when you’re SEXTING some girl but your fingers are too stupid and you get slapped in the face? PROBLEM SOLVED:

I’m not saying that a ridiculous looking thing you wear on your fingers in public that makes you look like an idiot isn’t going to make typing on a phone easier. Sometimes it is hard to type on these here phones! But I’m not sure that a Textee is actually going to solve the problem of you houndogging three different girls, and sending them the wrong sext message. At that point, it doesn’t really have very much to do with your inability to spell words, or sending a message before you’re finished. It’s just that your brain is dumb, and you’re an asshole. order NOWWW! (Thanks for the tip, Catherine.)

Comments (34)
  1. What kind of typo gets you slapped?

    I said “I want to VACUUM!”

  2. the future is here, and we’re all embarrassed

  3. “I was texting so hard I needed a thumb sling”
    -These Jerks, 1992-2012

  4. I sure hope it was designed to sound like “testes”. Because that is the only way this product could be any classier.

  5. This is the perfect accessory to compliment my TV Hat!

  6. Look like an idiot in public AND use the phone. That’s the magic combo!

  7. Going out on a limb here, but I’m guessing their clientele significantly overlaps with that of Extenze.

  8. Might I suggest their first celebrity spokesperson…

  9. Shouldn’t it be TextEASE? My first thought went to a lame line of t-shirts with various acronyms featured on them: “Idk, my bff Jill?”

    • See, when I first watched it I read textees but when I went to comment I wrote testes! That’s the last time I comment from my cell phone!

  10. That’s your thumb

  11. Why pay top dollar for a Textee? Just take a thimble and glue a pencil eraser to it!


  13. You guys remember how on Deadwood Al Swearengen loved having his asshole probed by a whore’s thumb? On the one hand, gross. On the other hand, your texting thumb is in Al Swearengen’s butt hole and he is pleasured by this.

  14. Woof. Today has been one of those days where everything Gabe posts makes me want to move to Heaven. “One way ticket to Heaven please! No Luggage!”

  15. No, textees. The slender thumbs of our coddled youth only lack nimbleness because they’re lazy, terrible people. You are only enlarging the islands of garbage in our precious oceans; for that, maybe you should take your stupid product and live there.

  16. SEXTEE: The Self-Lubricating Textee

    (Coming Soon. To an Yuck Shop near you.)

  17. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keyboard with your palm now.

  18. Something tells me that if you need this, you have bigger problems than needing this.

  19. Eh, this product is for fast-paced urbanites and businessmen.

    I think I’llgonna stick to the couch with my snugee, thank you.

  20. This guy likes it.

  21. I’ll tell you how I solve that little problem. Watch me in action:

  22. An increasingly rare miss at marketing synergy, Videogum, an increasing rare miss at marketing synergy.

  23. Reminds me that the keys to type both “ANAL” and “COCK” are the same in my phone (2625). TALK ABOUT EMBARRASSING SITUATIONs.

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