Eastbound And Down Season 2

Oh man. The second season of the best fucking show on television, Eastbound and Down, premieres September 26th, and questionable K-Swiss Tubes cross-promotional advertising aside, I for one cannot wait. That’s an exaggeration. I can wait. I’m an adult and have finally gotten my impulses under control. But YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. This season we find Kenny Powers in Mexico, and as this promotional image suggests, he has found a new batch of people to insult, abuse, and give terrible advice to. Admittedly, what I’m asking you to do is basically just imitate the excellent (FAKE) Kenny Powers twitter account, and so what? Imitation is the highest form of CAPTION THIS!

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. They will be fucking out and you will be fucking in! (Thanks for the tip, Max.)

Comments (95)
  1. Kenny Powers meets the Arizona Cardinals.

  2. Baseball is for white people only
    -Glenn Beck

  3. They call it a motherfucking baseball diamond, beacause I make this shit *bling*.

  4. One Awesome Dude On a Bike, and a Whole Bunch of Cholos with their Dicks in their Hand.

  5. At least the coke is cheaper down here.

  6. Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and all the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called ‘patriotism’.

  7. What a weird-looking Home Depot.

  8. It looks like I’m FUCKING OUT of caption ideas

  9. The Bad News Bears build the dang fence

  10. “I been down here four fuckin’ months and I still ain’t found any damn chalupas! What the fuck business do you have callin’ yourself a Mexican if you can’t make me a fuckin’ chalupa. With bacon! I’m hittin’ the showers.”

  11. These bitches can’t even TOUCH my bike because I project a force-field of fuck and awesome!

  12. I’m getting ready to drop some reverse anchor babies. hundreds of em.

  13. I’m gonna to sit here with this stupid face on til you recap True Blood.

  14. Can I get an “AMEN!”? This was me yesterday as I waited all day for the True Blood recap…

  15. Riding Hooch MoPeds on the Reg…

  16. Attendance was lower than expected at Kenny’s competing “Restoring Power” rally.

    • The flyers were also unclear as to what patriotic attire meant, providing for an all-too-loose interpretation in the form of America’s Favorite Pastime.

  17. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  18. Pinch runner, Kenny Fucking Powers-style.

  19. “Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism….Please don’t tell me that there is an entire baseball team of Mexicans standing behind me.”

  20. Ayauhteotl returns to his people.

  21. Kenny, I love you…I think you’re a terrific guy— but you got shoes like a fuckin’ dickhead.

  22. is the k-swiss cross promotion more questionable than this cross promotion? im waiting for a kenny powers commenter to show up and tell me if im not in cross-promotion i must be into cross-dressing or maybe chris-cross

  23. Keanu Reeves looks sadder than ever on the set of Hard Ball 2: Still Hard*.


  24. “Shit! Now I gotta rerecord my Audiobook in Spanish.”

  25. MOTHERFUCKERS thought they COULD run faster than ME. BULLSHIT. Why DO I NEED to run with these FUCKERS when I GOT A goddamn beast to haul my ass around and the COCK OF a python?

  26. No Gabe, why don’t YOU caption it?

  27. “What is this, some sort of Mexican circle jerk? Put your cock bats up and listen to a motherfucken’ PROPHET. Ignore this fine piece of craftsmenship beneath these two cut buns of marble and hear what a REAL baseball superstar has to say, I SHOULD be charging you for this sweet slice of necessary life advice, but I’m not. That’s the kind of man Kenny Powers is and will continue to be. So let’s cut the shit shall we. Let’s get into position and get ready to play THE GREATEST SPORT MANKIND HAS EVER KNOWN. WOOOO! Yo Shrek get to third base.”

  28. The US Government sent me down to Mexico to reverse immigration, because no one is FUCKING leaving the country Kenny Powers is in.

  29. “Kenny Powers rules this motherf***ing backwater joint. It’s like I’m taking a s*** in high cotton”

  30. You bitches MexiCANS or MexiCAN’TS?

  31. I’m Topher fucking Grace. I don’t need to make captions.

  32. I said who THE FUCK is on FIRST COMPADRE?

  33. Kenny Powers poses proudly in front of the fence he built to keep them fucking out and him fucking in.

  34. K-Pow anchor babies: mission accomplished.

  35. “Y’all name your kids after fuckin’ Jesus? You gotta be shittin’ me!”

  36. Not pictured: Katy Mixon.
    Damn it to hell.

  37. Reporter: “Kenny, What do you think of New Mexico?”
    Kenny Powers: “You mean Jew Mexico? It’s fucking great.”

  38. “Something mildly offensive” – Loud sassy redneck with confidence

  39. I love baseball, but sometimes it dresses like a dickhead.

  40. Home runs are going to be impossible if they don’t rethink that fence – that thing’s not high enough to keep any of those fielders inside it.

  41. To be fair East(bound) and Down is how he’d get to Mexico, right? Or is that Portugal?
    — GOBodan Milobsterchops, 1986 – now

  42. Estás jodiendo fuera! Estoy jodiendo en!

  43. Kenny Powers: “With this many fucking gardeners, you’d think the grass would look better.”

  44. [Picture that approaches the limits of decency OR is fucking adorable]

  45. I can’t believe I got kidnapped to play for the fucking Zetas.

  46. Red shirt means NO FUCKING PRACTICE. I’m going to Le Booms!

  47. I’m not turning around until all the fucking dicks behind me are replaced by me fucking two chicks on top of a bulletproof tiger. GO.

  48. 2 Bad 2 News Bears: The Streets

  49. Meet my new drug cartel…I mean “baseball team”. We’re really going to fucking blow away the competition, right guys? Wooo! But seriously, we’re smuggling drugs into America.

  50. What the fuck are you douchebags lookin’ at… ? I’m not your role model…

  51. I’m Kenny Powers, the greatest man alive, now I have to finish this interview before I take a dump…

  52. What’s with all the foreigners? “Feels like the first time” I went into Home Depot.

  53. No caption here.

    Just wanted to say I’ve been out of the ‘Videogum Game’ (or ‘Video-Game’ if you will) for way too long and I miss you.

    Well, most of you.

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