They definitely made the right choice to market this to adults. Very smart move. Nothing will impress a single woman at an exciting night club, or that client at the big meeting, like a couple of hammy, injection-molded magic tricks that came in a mail order kit.

“Uh, maybe you’ve heard of Criss Angel? I, an adult, used money I earned at my job, to purchase a magic kit on the Internet.”

FACT: adults love magic. FACT: the President’s Book of Secrets is actually a Criss Angel Platinum Magic Kit. I love how that’s not even Criss Angel. That is a Craigslist casting call respondent dressed in a $15 “rock-n-roll” outfit from TJ Maxx. Good work, everyone. BUY NOW! (Thanks for the tip, Tom and Nora.)

Comments (35)
  1. No, David Blaine.

  2. That is actually my magic kit. Later, losers, I’m off to go levitate in the parking garage.

  3. Illusions, Dad. You don’t have time for my illusions!

  4. They’re illusions, Gabe!

  5. This makes Morton executives very nervous.

  6. I’m assuming this magic kit includes Ed Hardy tshirts, eyeliner, and lots of chain necklaces. That’s how Criss Angel has been working his magic on me for years.

  7. New Taking One For The Team: Joe Mande has to learn Criss Angel magic.

  8. I’m pretty sure my brother and I got pretty much this exact kit for Christmas in 1983. “Make the silk scarf disappear!” (By stuffing it into a rubber prosthetic thumb!)

  9. Yay, my tip was used! Sorry, everyone!

    I like when they scroll through all of the names of the tricks, and there is one called “BEHIND YOU” and another called “STATIC CLING.” My mind is just freaking right now thinking about what those tricks could possibly be.

    Also, check out this awesome review of said kit. Wait for when the kid says “Spongebob” instead of sponge balls.

  10. Those fools at Mindfreak, Inc. don’t know I can learn all the magic tricks I’ll ever need from the Bing Sponsored Links (TM) below this post.

  11. Well someone’s out of the Alliance.

  12. That’s Your Theme Song: The Criss Angel “Mindfreak” Song

  13. Remember that time that Michael Scott went to magic camp for kids?

    Related: remember that time when The Office was fresh and funny? *sob*

  14. I don’t know guys, my weekends are pretty lame. $30 dollars doesn’t seem that bad to learn new ways of getting rejected by women.

  15. if you watch this and don’t think of lighter fluid during “salt production” you are probably dead inside.

  16. “Criss Angel will personally teach you, step-by-step, how to perform one of his many levitations.”

    Are there different types of levitations, and we are only taught one of them? I mean, if that’s the case, I’m even more excited for the kit. Figuring out what other types of levitations there are (low, medium and high levitations? Multiple-stage levitations with hidden identities?), and also learning how to do the levitiations on your own, in your own spare time, after Criss Angel himself teaches you how to do one of them, sounds like an awesome mind puzzle. I imagine an army of Mindfreaks with the fanaticism of Juggalos inspiring a nation of “how’d-he-do-thats” to open their minds about mediocre, middle-school-talent-show level magic.

  17. I thought mind freak was a person (as in chris angel), not a magic trick, as the commercial implies. Going with this logic, calling his show chris angel: mind freak would be like calling MJ’s show Michael Jordan: Jump Shot. That’s weak.

  18. Over $200 Value!!!!

    What? Please explain. Show your work.

  19. Because that wasn’t staged at all.

  20. I’d love to see Criss Angel try to make the Cups & Balls routine… cool? Is he considered like… the edgy magician?

    NO ONE sounds cool saying “cups & balls.”

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