First this:

And then this:

Just kidding.

You know, Tony Danza could be doing a lot worse things with his time than pretending like he’s a school teacher (which he is not). He could, for example, be pretending to be a cop. But I don’t like how these shows posit these former stars as American Heroes. At the very least, I would like some kind of certificate of authenticity, you know? Because, on the one hand, it’s not impossible that Tony Danza, when faced with a fading acting career and a mortgage, would decide to become a teacher, and when approached by a reality TV crew, was very hesitant and reluctant to participate until A&E offered the school a new computer lab and an organic cafeteria test kitchen and a scholarship program. OR, it could be that faced with a fading acting career and a mortgage, Tony Danza asked A&E to help him get a job teaching so that they could turn it into a reality show, and then use that reality show to improve his visibility and return to an acting career. It could go either way, I’m sure. (It could not go either way.)

Oh look! From Wikipedia:

In August 2009, it was reported that Danza would star in a new A&E reality show “Teach” in which he would co-instruct a 10th Grade English class at Northeast High School in Philadelphia. Filming has taken place during the 2009-10 school year.

Co-instruction, just one of the most noble things that you can do. It’s like they always say: “if you co-change just one young person’s life with your exploitative and self-aggrandizing reality show, it was all co-worth it.” (We live in a miserable world built on the laziest lies.) (Via Vulture.)

Comments (70)
  1. “I’ve touched the future” – Tony Danza

  2. “Really, Dad? What would Angela have to say about this?”

    “Honestly, Tony. I would have expected better of you.”

  3. What is the point of having a talent and being good at something and building a career at doing that something and then sell out so you can have a fucking reality show that’s not even reality because you’re forcing it to happen (how can anything that happens on a stage with characters be deemed fucking reality?) and then you get your fucking paycheck for being a fake real teacher or doctor or fireman or whatever whilst people who are trained to do it and want an actual career have to sit and watch some fucking jumped-up egomaniac do their job for a greedy tv show pumped to leering cretins.
    Fuck it, I’m becoming a hermit. This is my retirement card. I don’t want anything to do with modern media anymore

    • They should make a show where mechanics make sketch comedy, call it a reality show, but never show the the behind the scenes part of it. Just the sketches. It will probably be better than MAD TV ever was.

  4. Shit. Guys. I think I might be attracted to Tony Danza now. :(

  5. So he’s co-teaching Gym class, right? Please tell me it’s Gym class.

  6. “But really….THEY….were teaching ME.” —said in every episode, I’m sure.

  7. Who’s the Co-Boss?

    Tony Danza, that’s who.

  8. If this is anything like his talk show….it will be a complete disaster.

  9. this guy knows what tony danza is teaching about

  10. “Neat looking show.”

    -A 65-year-old, passionate high-school chemistry teacher who barely makes a living and gets almost no respect from his colleagues and students and will likely die without a penny to his name but doesn’t mind because it was never about the money, obviously

  11. Late in the pilot, Tony get tripped up on his Algebra calculations. An unexpected cameo gives him the strength he needs to press on.

  12. TONY DANZA


    CLASS OF 2012

  13. If you guys think THAT’S bad, wait till you hear about Kenny Powers

  14. Really? He wants them to call him “Mr D?” Does he know what that means to high school students?

  15. “I get to go back and take the road that’s not taken, and see where it takes me” – Tony Danza

  16. Where is werttrew to weigh in on this teaching stuff? Oh right, he’s showing episodes of this show to his class.

  17. Yay Tony Danza?

    I say this cautiously, because I want to believe that Mr. Danza and A&E aren’t at some Affluent or well funded or even Adequately funded RIDICU-Nice school. I want him to be in a Real Public school, One That has Issues such as BOOKS OR BETTER FOOD, INFRASTRUCTURE OR SALARY, not, “can you all have your parents sign this waiver so Tony Danza can come with A&E Cameras and film your semi-utopian Private School Experience, with a side of Tony Danza.”

    I want to see him develop the lesson plans with the necessary research. I wonder if he’ll have to deal with teen pregnancies, druggies, outcast loner types, or outright bullies or class clowns. Will he have the perfect class?

    I don’t think we are going to be exposed to teaching for the test, or forced, rote, drills drills drills and ditto sheets and scantron tests.

    Will the high school offer a wide variety of AP choices?
    How Real Are We Gonna Get?
    Are we We Going To See any Extraneous No Child Left Behind Garbage, and the aftermath left behind?

    We’re probably going to be in a cool ass school full of thought experiments, free association, conversation and collaboration, experimentation and implementation of novel ways of teaching.

    And that’s sad, because those places are few and far between, especially if you are not of affluence.

    But if it was Tony Danza doing real teaching in a normal school, yay Tony Danza. We need more (Qualified, Quality) teachers. And Tony is not. But maybe he can help make some kind of change for the better. That is my hope.

    • Exactly. And I certainly hope that Mr. Danza and A&E realize that the real work of teaching isn’t showing up and being all sassy and cool with the students like you think you’re Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds. It’s budgeting 20 to 40 minutes PER STUDENT per week in outside-of-class time, for grading, recordkeeping, lesson planning, pulling materials together. I sure hope this show has some long montages of Danza sitting up at night counting how many more papers he has to grade before he can go to sleep.

  18. Stand and Duh-liver

  19. Speaking as a grad student who’s scraping by on loans and TA positions and lecturer positions that net me about $15K a year, this makes me viscerally sick. Not only am I an idiot to spend years of my life chasing a job where a starting full-time lecturer salary is about $35K, but apparently all my friends in K-12 who’ve spent years on credentials and professional development and pedagogy and are really good at what they do are all idiots too. I mean, if some jackass who’s desperate to get back into the spotlight can walk in and “co-teach”… Sorry, nothing funny to say here, I’m just sad.

  20. These are the troubled inner-city kids who everyone’s given up on, right? Someone call Sandra Bullock!

  21. Hide your kids, hide your wives, cause Danza teachin’ everybody up in here.

  22. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  23. Shit, I got through nearly the whole post & the comments thinking he was Scott Baio and would teach them to keep pictures of black people in their wallets, and I was totally worried.
    What I’m saying is: Scott Baio really puts Tony Danza in perspective.

  24. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  25. monuh…
    an-juh-luh…
    saman-tuh…

  26. “I can’t be the celebrity guy that comes and teaches.”
    – Tony Danza, star of the upcoming A&E series, “Teach: Tony Danza”

  27. Those jerk offs at A&E couldn’t get John Travolta? Whatevs.

  28. I hate nearly all movies/tv shows about teaching. My experience has been that they lead parents to think things like, “Teaching is easy, even Tony Danza (or Michelle Pfeiffer’s character, or whoever) can do it, what the hell is wrong with my kids’ teachers?!?” They suggest that if only teachers were more committed, all the systemic problems in schools would go away, and also it wouldn’t matter if children live in poverty or come to school without breakfast, because the teacher will visit the kid’s house at night and chastise the parent, or feed the kids himself, or whatever.

    Oh, and also teachers all teach because they love kids (which is true), so it’s acceptable to keep their salaries low and treat them as if they are missionaries instead of professionals.

    The only show that gets teaching even close to correct is Season 4 of The Wire, and even there, Prez becomes a suspiciously effective instructor in a week or two of time. I realize The Wire is making a point about how the system stymies good teaching, which I appreciate, but still.

    Rant over, time to go to school and TEACH SOME KIDS.

  29. I would be more interested in a program titled “Teach Tony Danza.” It would be kind of like that “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader” show, but it would focus exclusively on trying to get Tony to understand grade-school concepts. Real (really real) teachers would be brought in to teach something to Tony, and whoever can get through to Tony, wins the promise of not being laid off from their real teaching job for a whole month, Survivor style.

  30. Hey before you state talking Sh*& about someone YOU should GET YOUR Facts RIGHT! Tony Danza is a Teacher.He went to Collage for it before he got Famous.So in Fact YES he is a Real Teacher.They can’t just let him teach in a school for a TV show.So please fact check next time.The joke is on you kid!Keep doing Great things TONY Danza

  31. file:///C:/Users/Kalman/Desktop/beaver_poster_blank1.jpg

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