porn_dungeons_dragons

Sometimes, things that are made expressly to appeal to nerds should make nerds feel ashamed of themselves. (As if there’s another way that nerds ever feel? DING DONG!) Like, “check out this Pulp Fiction/Star Wars mash-up where John Travolta is Darth Vader.” No. You deserve better, nerds, and you should expect better. The fact that nerds will always eat that junk up is the reason that junk keeps getting made. It’s a vicious cycle. But sometimes things are made to appeal to nerds and you’re just like, yup. Nailed it. For example, this new web series, I Hit It with My Axe. It’s a documentary about a group of porn stars, exotic dancers, pin-up girls, and hairdressers (?) who all play Dungeons and Dragons with each other every week and a half. The series documents their most recent quest to find some jewels or whatever it even is about, who cares. If that is the thing you are most curious about you are missing the point, and you might be too high of a level nerd to even want to watch this. +3 Dork Shield.

After the jump, the first FIVE episodes of a show in which porn stars (etc) play Dungeons and Dragons:

Episode One:

Episode Two:

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Tons more episodes here.

This actually seems like the One Nerd Thing to Control All the Nerds. Right? You’re done, nerds. You made it. Throw yourself in Mount Doom. (Thanks for the tip, Chris.)

Comments (65)
  1. I predict a lot of people will be pulling out their +5 lotion of dexterity for this one.

  2. I like the one with the sorbet haircut.

  3. When I was a teenager, my father told me that if I started having sex too young, I wouldn’t have anything to look forward to (I have a weird dad). Thank you, porn stars, for proving my dad right.

  4. Gabe, Theses are “Alt” porn stars… Not the same, dude.

  5. does carlos the dwarf make an appearance? i otherwise do not care to watch others play D&D.

  6. See, boys? When girls get together without you around, it’s not always naked pillowfights! Sometimes it’s sitting around a table with clothes on.

    Sorry.

  7. Does this mean we’re becoming cool or they’re turning into geeks?

  8. I am surprised my friend Ben got his mom to let all these ladies into the basement, but whatever, as long as they don’t TOUCH MY WORLD OF WARCRAFT™ MTN DEW GAME FUEL.

  9. How come if you’re overly enthusiastic about Dungeons and Dragons, you’re a “nerd”, but if you’re overly enthusiastic about porn, you’re “creepy”?

  10. And those are exactly the curtains I would have expected an alt porn star to have.

  11. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  12. Is it wrong that I really want to hang out with these people and play some D&D? I realize work discussions might get awkward, but so few people will willingly bust out the 12 sided dice these days.

  13. I’d imagine true nerds will mostly enjoy these videos for the simple fact that they can rightfully tell the porn stars how they are “doing it wrong.”

  14. Goregasm: The Legend of Dongslayer.

  15. True story: the one time I played, the Dungeon Master spent an hour setting up a character for me. Then, after he was done, we started playing. We immediately encountered an ogre, who wasted no time in killing me. I asked what I was supposed to do then, turns out I had to wait for an hour again while we made ANOTHER character for me.

    So what I’m saying is, considering the long build-up, the quick climax, and then having to wait an hour to go again, I can see why porn stars might be able to relate to D&D.

  16. One time, I walked in on a room full of people playing Dungeons and Dragons, and it was probably the most akward moment of my life. Having not viewed these videos, I am imagining I would have the same feelings if I were to watch.

  17. I’m not gonna be satisfied till there’s a series where they play GURPS and Call of Cthulu as well.

  18. This is pretty good and all, but it would be a lot better with no D&D and WAY more sex.

  19. Yeah, well, I wonder if they yell Leroy Jenkins when they enter other things?!? HEYO! [wait for applause]

  20. A couple years ago I was working for a science program, shooting video of engineering students building miniature satellites.. Early one Saturday morning I was out in the desert with them and this is the conversation I witnessed:

    A: Hey Josh?
    B: (pause) …yeah?
    A: Do you like Dungeons & Dragons?
    B: (long pause) …well I play it.
    A: But do you like it?
    B: (extremely long uncomfortable pause) …yes.
    A: Cool.

  21. UGH. They keep pronouncing tiefling incorrectly. BAD porn stars. I can’t take you anywhere.

  22. I’ve never played D&D, but after watching these 5 videos I kind of want to, but I’m also kind of all set.
    Really, I’d like to see a video with these ladies playing D&D with Sam Weir, Bill Haverchuck, Neal, Gordon and Harris. I just miss Freaks and Geeks I think is what it is.

  23. this is so much better than the larper porn i rented last weekend.

  24. I hope all this role playing helps these porn stars with their acting.

  25. The Dungeon Master of this game is Zak Sabbath/Smith, who is semi-famous for his “Drawings for every page of Thomas Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow” art project that was in a Whitney Bienniel.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zak_Smith

    So basically dude is in major museum shows and is a dungeon master for porn stars. Clearly I made some “wrong” life choices.

  26. OMG! These girls are like soooo ALT! Like so different! Wonderful!

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