Of course, as with any hog calling competition, there can be only one winner (congratulations to Des Moines’s favorite son, Kyle Barton!) but as you can see from this footage (after the jump), in this contest, EVERYONE is a winner. Nothing about this is ridiculous or embarrassing at all. Just a group of people competing to see who is the best at a thing that we all agree is normal and not scary at all and should definitely be done in public, probably more than it already is. “When people say that life is unfair, I assume they are referring to the fact that public hog calling is limited to state fair competitions when in my opinion it should be done constantly and everywhere,” is what a lot of people say when someone else reminds them that we live in a cruel and uncaring world with no particular regard to anyone’s well being.

The 2010 Illinois State Fair Hog Calling Contest, you guys:

I like at the end when this year’s winner, Kyle Barton (congratulations, Kyle!), explains that he has been sweeping all of the state fair hog calling competitions across the midwest despite never actually working on a farm. And also when he explains how he won a hog-calling competition the first time he ever tried it, on a whim, after watching someone else do it. I like it because it reminds us that this is definitely a real thing that is important and real and requires some kind of skill. It’s not just debutantes getting on a stage and humiliating themselves in public by squealing like pigs into a microphone. OH WAIT. We should all be so lucky as to find something in this world that makes us happy, but also hahaha & yikes. (Thanks for the tip, Erin.)

Comments (64)
  1. In other news, Glenn Beck made a sudden and unexpected trip to Chicago this weekend.

  2. “Did I ever tell you about the time I went to the Illinois State Fair?” –David Foster Wallace.

    http://www.harpers.org/media/pdf/dfw/HarpersMagazine-1994-07-0001729.pdf

  3. That’s first guy should get some kind of special award for his corn hat.

  4. That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

  5. Babe was not nominated for 7 Oscars and most certainly doesn’t deserve to be shouted at in such a manner.

  6. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

      • Fat chicks and fact chicks are alike in that neither group of ladies finds your pathetic attempts at humor amusing.

      • I like my Bitches and Hogs Truthful

      • Fat chicks are those lovely women that bring their children to see your nightmare garbage jug band perform at ShowBiz Pizza. You probably don’t notice them because of the bright multi-colored lights shining into your acrylic eyes but they are there, drowning their sorrows in high fat high calories grease bread. I’d imagine that sometime you don’t even know if ANYONE is listening to your desperate performances but you simply have no choice but to oblige when that pimple faced teenager in the embarrassing uniform flips the switch to raise the curtain and you feel the familiar electric tingle throughout your cold metal skeleton. You simply let your head slowly click into position and wonder when they are going to replace your dusty bedbug infested bow tie. Then you SING!

        • Bedbugs, so trendy right now

        • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • What does this even mean? Fucking Steve Winwood — how does he work?

  7. I love the coolness that the 2nd guy oozes, what with his hip glasses and horror-movie-worthy shrieks. he is SO Someone’s Boyfriend.

  8. I’ve never been more sad to have forgotten my headphones.

  9. That lady in blue was robbed! She was NOT essing around! You could really tell that she had pigs and called them and wasn’t some city girl with access to the U-Tubes!

    • For some reason I now want to start using “NOT essing around” as an exclamation. I would be like, “Get out of my face! I am not essing around!” And then someone would be like, “Do you mean, you’re not MESSING around?” And I would be all, “No, I meant what I said! If I meant to say ‘messing,’ I would have SAID ‘messing.’ Don’t you ever correct me again! I am NOT ESSING AROUND!”

      Hahahaha…cool comment, teacherman. Videogum is a better place because of it.

  10. A rough of applause for their hog calling mastery!

  11. You, sir, are most certainly not the pine-scented air.

  12. Kyle Barton is the Billy Mitchell of hog calling.

  13. Kyle is such a city boy he knew not to buy the “I <3 NY" tshirt and sprung for the much more authentic "N Y C NEW YORK" tshirt. SUCH a city boy, that Kyle.

  14. That is some seriously weird and disturbing body fat distribution going on at 2:25.

  15. ….Guys, I’m scared. This doesn’t seem that weird to me. Maybe it’s because my State Fair has butter sculptures, maybe it’s because I partially grew up on a farm.

    Someone hold me. I will try not to call hogs.

  16. Yikes, that blue woman has scary arms!

  17. There’s some sort of “Deliverance” joke here about squealing like a pig, but since we Monsters are kind and decent, I’m just going to leave it be and say congratulations to all the participants.

  18. In the mind of someone, this is the kind of Great America that would be protected by preventing a mosque’s construction. I’m gonna need a bigger hard hat.

  19. So what are the criteria on which the contestants are judged? Is it managing to be LEAST revolting in a hog calling competition? Because everyone but the winner was much more revolting.

    • I would have thought a bunch of pigs walking over to the tent would have helped prove the winner, but for all the pig calling they were doing none showed. Seems like they’re lying. Pigs Don’t Respond to the Cray Cray shit these people are squeal/yell/yelping

  20. Wow. This just proves that Illinois, Sans Chicago, is nothing more than Indiana.

  21. “I’m a city boy.” – Kyle Barton, of Des Moines, Iowa, winner of the 2010 Illinois State Fair Hog Calling Contest, whilst wearing a shirt emblazoned with “NYC”.

  22. What kind of award could possibly be given to make someone OK with this being on the Internet forever?

  23. Well, that woman explains why there are so many pick BY THAT VAN DOWN THE RIVER.

  24. Kyle Barton was just a janitor at a community college in the big city of Des Moines, Iowa. One day a professor returned to his classroom to find that a bunch of seriously difficult hog-calling equations written on the chalkboard had all been solved — but by whom?

  25. I entered the comments here dreading a good old-fashioned ganging up on the flyover states—posts like this are always good bait for that—but then remembered that not every website needs to be populated by assholes (Gawker) and was pleased to see that everyone kept it (more or less) in check.

  26. OK, I clicked on this video because the still shot looked exactly like my friend’s wife, who I kind of hate. I wasn’t going to comment about that because I thought maybe I was just being mean, but then while I was watching the video my husband looked over, and said “Hey, is that [Friend's Wife]?” So I guess she has a double in Chicago. Who is good at screaming at hogs.

    (Saddest thing? That woman doesn’t even really look like her until she scrunches up her face like a pig.)

  27. This lady has got Tourette’s. Listen closely @ the 2:31 mark. I’m pretty sure she let out a fuck.

  28. I love how professionally they all adjust the mic stand once they get on stage.

  29. Somewhere, there’s an old, tired farmer quietly filling a pig trough with feed, hoping someday sane animal husbandry is duly recognized with ribbons.

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