“No one wants to be embarrassed.” — Spike

“Hey guys, I just joined a new dance crew!” — Gabe

(Via BuzzFeed.)

Comments (61)
  1. Goddammit, Cheryl! Sthop trying to stheal his moment!

  2. Why so sick and blue, Carpet?

  3. Fuck you, Spike. No one puts Cheyl in a corner. Maybe Birdie needs a roommate?

  4. Asperger’s Syndrome is the most hilarious of all the syndromes!

  5. If I knew my taint would be featured so prominently in a video, I wouldn’t wear such a sparse panty… personally.

  6. Thhhhpikes movetthhs are thweeeettt!

  7. He probably shouldn’t say sport shorts so much.

  8. I’m so glad he had the foresight to avoid embarrassment by tucking his shirt into his sport shorts. Image how embarrassed he would have been if his shirt had caught on a carpet spike.

  9. Spike’s beard reminds me of my lazy baby brother.

  10. Why is he dancing when he should be warning us about the impending earthquake??

  11. Sit Down 3D

  12. I’d like to think that tiny door leads to Cheryl’s magic wonderland akin to the Friskie’s commericals

    • I gotta say though, I am ALL FOR these Friskies commercials. I’d rather see some cat’s psychotropic dreamscape than, like, some fancy cat waiting to eat her gross food out of a crystal chalice.

  13. He’s really coming close to matching his personal hero Puala Abdul with some of those dance moves, not to mention the slurring.

  14. sthome people justht try to hard. thith ith lame.

  15. Spike’s wife (note, the wedding ring!) is very satisfied by those sexual moves and additional flourishes, no doubt.

  16. “You just want to stick your butt in the air, look everyone in the eye, stick your tongue out.” If you can’t follow this with a lisped “TWSS,” don’t say it at all, Spike!

  17. I am not optimistic about this Footloose reboot

  18. When I get home from work, I am going to seduce my husband with the sexy push up. Thanks for the sick moves, Spike!

  19. I am so disappointed that Spike decided not to have any music for his dance moves.

    http://youtubedoubler.com/vssR (if this doesn’t work – downvote away)

  20. As the great Deborah Gibson once sang “Only in my dreams….”

  21. I like to think that the door is normal sized and Spike is gargantuan.

  22. Great viral ad, Thick Blue Carpet Co.

  23. The last time I had a man’s taint thrown at my face that many times in a row while a dog watched, I got paid for it.

  24. even though god did not give him the body nor the talent to preform, god did bestow spike with a fundamental understanding of modern dance and its appeal to the masses. And a nice blue carpet.

  25. All he’s missing is some thick plastic-framed glasses like Paul from the Wonder Years.

  26. Have you witnessed Spike’s latest (multicultural) offering?

    I HOPE THIS IS COMEDY (otherwise I may be going to Hell)


    • I think his song is better than the majority of the songs on Pocahontas. If he would have invited some friends over to add some three-part harmony to the end, he could have had some Fleet Foxes stew going, baby.

  27. Spike and Cheryl seemingly have a very complex, symbiotic relationship. My hypothesis so far is that Spike stays in the relationship because he thinks Spike makes him look like a better dancer in comparison. Cheryl, on the other hand, clings to the relationship with her little puppy paws because she likes watching the sexy push-up move from behind. As long as Cheryl keeps sucking at human dance moves and Spike keeps the sexy push-up as a regular part of his routine (which is already loaded with great, next-level shit), I think the two will continue to be very happy.

    • The second sentence should read: My hypothesis so far is that Spike stays in the relationship because he thinks Cheryl makes him look like a better dancer in comparison.
      My face burns with shame. But I’d like to blame this on my personal proof reader, who is currently at an airport, chasing the woman he loves.

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