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In honor of the most wonderful and important movie of the year, the Home Shopping Network presented an entire program of Eat, Pray, Love products, the purchase of which will help turn any woman into a self-obsessed asshole.
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I’m waiting for the My Sister’s Keeper home cloning kit(tm).
At first glance, I thought that said cloning kitten. I thought: “What on earth is that? And why do I want one so badly?”
I only buy gurus on QVC.
“Eat, Pray, Queef” and “Eat Me Out.” Bing seems to be leading me to make poor decisions.
The pressing matter; Is seafood from the Gulf safe to eat?
Ew, that woman calls her vagina “The Gulf”?
That was a reply to jawbone. I’m done here.
I was going to post a picture of Sarlacc. But then I realised posting something that nerdy as a reference to a vagina would make the world/Videogum implode, causing a massive gulf….och!
Let’s give it a whirls, yesno?
People who have read Eat, Pray, Love always counter disdain with “WELL HAVE YOU READ IT?” and that CAN be an argument winner, but I cheated by not reading and thus win TIMES INFINITY!
I always assumed that EPL was something like the Horse Whisperer or something Nick Sparksy. After making fun of my girlfriend for months, I finally broke down and took the “have you read it?” challenge. To my surprise, it wasn’t Sparksy at all. I found it to be well written and, at the core, pretty insightful. Looking back I can actually point to a few things I’ve changed about how I live my life as a result of the book.
PSYCH!
Well, if we’re confessing things, when I don’t have time to look into a pop culture phenomenon, like the Vampire craze for example, I just look to those who embrace it heavily. I won’t bother commenting on how unfair that may or may not be (it’s basically unfair). In my neck of the woods, the EPL fans aren’t really the “being-white-is-hard” crowd, but there’s something of a suppressed dissatisfaction that they DREAD betraying to anyone outright, so they do it by endorsing something like this. I mean, by all means, be dissatisfied and then go do something, but I just don’t like this because it’s used as some kind of awful social costume. Like “I’m enlightened and adventurous because I read this book about someone probably being enlightened and adventurous, but maybe a narcissist who is richer than God. This season’s Anthropologie catalogue is going to ROCK MY BREAKFAST NOOK!”
I meant to write this earlier and thank Lizzing, from the bottom of my heart, for the assist.
To be clear: PSYCH! My actions are pretty much exclusively based-upon “The Road.”
My breakfast nook is covered in skulls.
Well, it’s a friendly place so I’ll err on the side of caution. And not the side of the death cults.
I know, I feel like a jerk now.
Oh don’t feel bad, this was an important review of what to do in the “I was actually like you but (garbage) surprised me with it’s maturity and I found a lot that spoke to me.” scenario.
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dear military heros, in your honor, I’ve passed out, head-first, on the right side of my keyboard. xoxoxo
I’m trying to make out a soldier holding a kitten but all I can see is the Human Centipede.
I wish this douchebag would stop already.
Let’s be real though, Gabe. If you wrote a book that got turned into a movie, you know you’d be Selling all the Delahaye For Pay‡ Accessories you could move out of the QVS/HSN Warehouses. T-Shirts, Jeans, Jorts, Heald Tilting Exercise Machines, Specialty Cappuccino Machines, Shibu Inus/Inu Restraints, laptop bags, etc.
‡The Name of your first release, no doy
Can we turn this into a Gabe’s book title game? I’ll go first:
I Did It My Delahaye.
(I’m really sorry)
What’s Up With Gabe Delahaye, and Topher Grace too
The World According to Gabep
The Gabes of Wrath
The Gabe Gatsby?
Delahaye In the White City
Gabe With The Wind
(His fifth book, Second Feature Film Release)
Memoirs of a Gabe-sha
What’s Eating Gabe(rt) Grape
Eat, Pray, Delahaye
(sorry, but it had to be done)
Delahaye; Worker #3116, My Early Years
http://www.corporate-casual.com/
Twilight 7: Revenge of Count Dellawitz
Harry Potter 9: Gabe Dellawitz Steals the Sorcerer’s Ruby
The Lion and The Wardrobe: Gabrielle Dellawitz Journeys to Narnia
The Lord and The Rings IV: Time of the Trolls (fan fiction written by Gabe Dellawitz)
Steven King’s Dark Dellawitz Saga
100 Years of Trollitude by Gabe Dellawitzberg
For Whom the Blog Trolls by Earnest Winwood
As I Lay Trolling by Gabe Faulkner
The Blog You Troll May Be Your Own by Flannery O’Dellaehy
Stephen, not Steven, King.
Is James Franco for sale? I’d buy him