Photos
Background: back in June, a Republican congressman from Texas took to the House Floor and revealed a TERRIFYING TERRORISM PLOT OF TERROR! From TalkingPointsMemo:
June 25, 2010: Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) went to the House floor Thursday night, to warn of a diabolical terrorist plot — with a 20-30 year timeline.
The plot involves arranging for a child to be born in the United States — then training them in an isolated environment abroad, ready to dispatch them back here to commit violence after a quick two or three decades.
Yikes! I mean, it definitely makes sense. There is no easier way to recruit someone to a Jihadist way of life than to give birth to them in 2010 and spend the next 20 to 30 years raising them with a fundamentalist belief system. That’s why there have never been any terrorist attacks, yet. Because no one will become a terrorist if they weren’t born with that specific purpose in mind. Thus the invention of TERROR BABIES! No doy. (My favorite part is the 20-30 year spread. Like, if you’ve spent your whole life as a terror baby, you’d think you’d be ready at 20, but I guess some people get busy with work or something.)
Anyway, last night, Anderson Cooper invited Congressman Louie Gohmert onto his show to defend his claims, and holy moly, THIS IS THE BEST:
Hahahaha. He mad! Terror Babies, you guys. Never Forget. (Via BuzzFeed.)
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I wonder if Anderson Cooper was just thinking about how pretty he is during this interview. I know I am.
It is the only thing keeping me sane.
I can’t respond to everything you write with a variation on, “You’re wicked awesome,” or a photo of something we both might think is awesome, so please take it down a notch. Thank you.
I want to have Anderson Cooper’s Terror Baby
Ummm….he might play for a different fantasy team.
The Muslims?
What’s the deal with all the downvoters today? Jesus, so fucking sorry today. A buncha fart sniffing overly sensitive dorks. OH NOES SOMEONE THOUGHT SOMETHING DIFFERENT OR MADE A JOKE THAT CHALLENGES MY BELIEF SYSTEM (WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY RIGHT) WHY AM I YELLING
Sometimes I just imagine this huge mass of miserable lurkers who just downvote every single comment.
Why ARE you yelling? (I understand why you’re yelling.)
God, true that, PT (ugh, what did I just say?)
Wait, are you ugh-ing that you agreed with me or the way you worded said agreement?
The latter.
I heard Anderson Cooper lives in a fire station.
Anderson Cooper’s motto: Pretty under Pressure.
“I believe the children are our future…unless we stop them now.”
–Homer Simpson (20th c. Nostradamus)
“Terror Babies will take over and successfully run a Wendy’s. Also, I predicted Hitler and the world ended 50 years ago. Ya served!”
–Nostradamus
Classic Long Khan.
Yeah, “terror babies” and yet we’re not supposed to get abortions? No hypocrisy there, guy. (sarcasm)
#controversygum
Steve Winwood providing consistently smart and amusing posts? Is 2012 that close?
Thumbs up this whole thread. Not even a downvote for Winwood, because of, you know, habit.
there was a crying terror baby in the movie theatre when I was watching ‘Toy Story 3.’ they are here and they’ve already won.
I flew to New York last week and was sitting in front of a toddler who kept kicking my chairback. I think we all know that this is credible evidence that the Terrorbaby epidemic is already on the rise.
Vote for me in 2035: Mandatory abortions for all.
I’ve been trying to get an airline off the ground where you could pay $10 extra dollars to ensure that a baby would not be on the airplane, because I haven’t talked to someone yet who hasn’t felt like a prisoner of war after a 5 hour flight with a screaming baby.
I will fly your airline, go to your restaurant, attend your movie theatre and, of course, happily work at your school.
Benner?
I find it very appropriate that your avatar caused me to read this comment in Kent Brockman’s voice.
All this time I thought Notsewfast was listening to the dulcet tones of David Bowie in those big headphones of his. Now I know the truth, they are permenantly clamped to his forehand, feeding him anti-West mantras a la Brave New World. We thought you were one of us, Notsewfast. This betrayal is too much
“Mr. Flapu would like to make it known that he does not know what a forehand is, nor why a pair of headphones should be permanently attached to one. Thank you.”
~ Spokesperson, speaking on behalf of Capu Flapu
[photoshopped image of a tennis player (maybe Federer, because I think the Swiss are cool) making a forehand swing, with headphones shopped onto the wrist, or maybe the racquet.]
Isnt that the plot of the first Spy Kids movie.
upon reading the plot of the first spy kids movie on wikipedia (one of the lower points in my day), I have to conclude that this is more of a less imaginitive version of the first spy kids movie. In the first spy kids movie, the host of a childrens show is in league with an evil mastermind (I don’t know either) who are creating super powered evil robotic clones of children of world leaders in order to take over the world (I hate myself for typing this).
thank you for looking it up, my concerns and curiousity are, for now, at ease. But they do seem to be drawing from the same concept. An Army of Super Children that wreak havok.
Hey at least you didn’t a) see all three Spy Kids movies because b) you thought Robert Rodriguez was a talented filmmaker.
I saw at least two Spy Kids movies (the first one multiple times) because I was super in love with Alan Cumming in high school.
okay fuck, dingus, i HAVE seen all 3 spykids movies. But mostly to see all the new gadgets they get to have with each new movie.
“Terror babies are REAL!!!”
The evidence:
The best.
the best what? rip-off of the Daily Show? #jokestealing
How is Terror Babby formed?
I AM disappointed that Anderson Cooper forwent as many opportunities for a well-placed “YOU MAD!!” as he did here.
LOOK AT THIS GAPING HOLE
LOOK AT IT
there’s one for the TWSS archives
TWSS
GOD DAMN IT F5
great minds, my friend.
FILL IT ANDERSON! FILL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#gayporngum (sorry)
That’s why I’ve been training my baby as a counter-terrorist, so he’ll be ready. Mostly it involves putting him in front of the TV while I play Bad Dudes.
the president has been kidnapped by ninjas. are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?
No, but Facetaco Jr. sure as hell is!
You’re cute!
“I hope that terror baby is lucky enough to have a father like Bill O’Reilly.” –Jennifer Aniston
isn’t that the plot of SALT? Incedently the best movie of the summer. And Anderson Cooper has SUCH blue eyes…
Oh man, I’ve stopped the video at 4 minutes, and its not even halfway done! How does this keep going?
Congressmandude keeps on bringing up a gaping hole, again and again. Freud would have a lot to say about it.
All this talk of ‘gaping holes’ and ‘terror babies’ makes me feel like I need to go to jail.
That and Spagett’s face.
This is why I love Anderson Cooper. Whereas Bill O’Reilly would have shut that guy down immediately and looked like an asshole, Coop just gives the guy all the rope he needs.
Anderson = 1
This Guy = 0
Bill O’Reilly = -1,492,389
That is literally the plot of “Salt”.
I was literally about to say that.
I know right? Did the congressman go to Salt and think “This is a documentary about the geopolitical universe we live in except they use Ruskies instead of Mooslims.” Totally reasonable and rational. Exactly the sort of cool, collected rationalism I expect from a United States Congressman!
Maybe Leonardo DiCaprio incepted his dreams and planted the idea of terror babies as a warning that in 20-30 years SALT would actually happen (except maybe with somebody not so hot as Angelina Jolie). The movie was the first warning. The congressman was the second. The next thing you know, Mal’s children will be TAKING DOWN THE USA.
Yeah…this reminds me of when people see Onion articles and think they’re real. How long before he starts a manhunt for Liev Schreiber?
I tried to not listen to this person and focus on Anderson.
FUCKING GROSS!!!! Stop posting gifs of my Nemesis Enforcer!!!!!!!
There he is.
I accidentially upvoted you Winwood! Never again! (unless you say something funny)
I have happily upvoted every single .jpg or .gif of Prince this week. It may be my favorite Videogum meme of all time, because I seriously cannot get enough of Prince and the things he does with his face.
So have I. Prince is just great, and I love Steve’s reaction. So, Double Laughter.
I am so for this
Close enough:
Dave Chappelle nailed Prince in that skit. Can’t believe people ever liked (and STILL like) that foppish Dr. Frankfurter wanna-be 80s pop douche. Yuck!
Game……….. BLOUSES…..
Somebody doesn’t listen to “Raspberry Beret” enough!
God I HATED that song! I remember in the 80s when Raspberry Beret was on such heavy rotation on all the radio stations and MTV that it was worse than the current gulf oil spill in terms of its insidiousness and ubiquitousness of its awful presence. Prince = Gulf Oil Spill.
Not to imply that there is one thing that makes the MOST sense about terror babbies, but if the jihadists can get into this country to give birth then why wouldn’t they just stay and “cause terror.” I guess I just don’t have the intellectual capacity or cognitive reasoning to understand the intricate world of Texas style counter terrorism policy.
ARE YOU SAYING THE TERRORISTS ARE MORE STUPID THAN THE MEXICANS?!? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!
Absolutely. Genius plan.
I guess we know why Professor Bin Laden is so skinny. You can’t eat in the library.
[IMG]http://img.timeinc.net/time/photoessays/2009/osama_bin_laden/binladen_06.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://img.timeinc.net/time/photoessays/2009/osama_bin_laden/binladen_06.jpg[IMG]
Dammit. Can’t post photos on this thread!
The Terror Babies win.
You crazy for this congressman, Texas
You crazy for electing this nutbag, Texas.
oh wait, oops. your comment sunk in after I made mine. abort! abort! no one read the terror comment above.
Man, I really need to get to work on my insane, rambling, nonsensical conspiracy theories so I can get some face time with the Coop.
I Can Help You With That
How come no one’s talking about The Human Terror Centipede?!
I’m on to you Notsewfast
Terror Babies: From the mind of Rep. Louie Gohmert
This guy is all about “gaping holes” and “filling holes.” What gives.
He wants to fill holes, but stop babies.
[Insert (oof) contraception joke here]
Comedy!
I’m a 36-year old Terror Baby. My folks were SO ahead of their time. Unfortunately, my army isn’t ready yet. They’re still teething.
Jihad! and what not.
What a nutcake.
I haven’t seen Notsewfast around here since all this talk of Terror Babies started.
Coincidence?
Are you suggesting that notsewfast is in the FBI?
Notsewfast is a Federal Baby Investigator?
Quoted without comment:
“Help us fill the gaping hole, Anderson.”
- A serious man being serious
“I’m all for long cons, but this is just silly.”
- Sawyer
Maybe Gohmert just needs to be changed.
Bravo.
This guy knows how cranky you can get when your diaper’s all wet.
oh boy, somebody had a little fun with his wiki page:
“Louis Buller Gohmert, Jr. (born August 18, 1953) is an American[citation needed] politician, conspiracy theorist[citation needed], and current Republican U.S. Representative from Texas’s 1st congressional district.[1]”
American, citation needed, indeed!
HELP ME FILL THIS HOLE ANDERSON! HELP ME FILL THIS HOLE!–Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)
did he just cite his research as a comment on Anderson Cooper’s website? what? let’s try this out.
terror babies are not real.
Babies ARE a terror, so needy and boring.
Someone who ends his case with “Fill the hole, Anderson” must not know about this thing called the internet.
Texas, our Texas.
Sorry, rest of the world. Our bad.
Amazing. I have to applaud this guy’s impression of an insane right-wing demagogue. Two thumbs up!
That guy was a judge y’all, totally fair and normal judge (surely)
Looks like the only gaping hole here…
*puts on sunglasses*
…is in his evidence.
YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!
This is just like me trying to talk politics with my parents. I feel ya, Anderson.
The photo above must have been edited in photoshop to make it look like this. isn’t it….?
wrinkle cream
I think we should all just start bathing in this and maybe the terror babies won’t kill us because we’ll trick them like they tricked the smaller dinosaurs in Jurassic Park III.
I am torn. I want to upvote because funny, but on the other hand, I want to downvote the existence of this product.
Someone who ends his case with “Fill the hole, Anderson” must not know about this thing called the internet.
http://www.resvibrant.org/